I, Pad, don't possess an iPhone; Haven't got an iPad; what an irony! I used to have an i-chair when I was just a baby Now all I have is ITV. If I truly loved technology I'd keep an i- on every kind of gadget you can name: An iPatch would be perfect for the puncture on my bicycle And cutting things just out of reach could be done with an iSickle If you're upper class and stupid but want to seem quite clever The iTwit is the thing for you, the best invention ever If you want to cut some timber, why not try the Apple store? It may sound pretty ugly but there's nothing like an iSaw.