I have a confession to make.

Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

I have a confession to make.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “Day 5 and we have reached 98% of our 100K target". If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his website www.melcroucher.net. Here's one of Mel's latest!

I have a confession to make. I have been pimping a young model, and I confess my shame. My pimping is the result of a moment of weakness. I’ve had models before, and I understand their capricious nature. One moment they are willing to perform across my desk, and the next they freeze and refuse to let me do what I want to do. But it has not been any fantasy performance that’s got me hooked, it has been the fantasy looks. I was bored. I wanted colour. I wanted make-up. I wanted dazzle and glitter. I wanted tribal tattoos, hot bubbles, glowing tubes and a whirling fan-dance. Forgive me, but I’ve pimped my computer.

In 1909, Henry Ford declared, “I will build a motor car for the great multitude. It will be constructed of the best materials, by the best men to be hired, after the best designs that modern engineering can devise. And no man making a good salary will be unable to own one.” He then added his famous line, “The customer can have his car painted any colour he wants as long as it’s black.” And so they were. Painted black. When I was young, cars were still mostly black, apart from the odd spot of lipstick around the exhaust pipes of those used in suicide pacts. As for computer manufacturers, they all followed Henry Ford’s marketing strategy for half a century. Except their colour of choice was not black, but the sort of beige favoured by dead maggots. The exception was the ZX Spectrum which was black, but the keyboard really was made of dead maggots. Apart from that aberration, beige was the colour. In fact the beige box came to be used as a term of derision for desktops, implying dated, boring specifications.

For example, IBM's early desktop computers were not only very beige indeed, but also very box-shaped indeed, and most PC clone manufacturers followed suit. As IBM and its imitators came to dominate the industry, beige boxes became the unquestioned norm for boring desktop computer design. Even early Apple Macs were beige boxes, until Apple took the revolutionary step in 1987 of switching to the even more boring shade of Chicken Poo By Moonlight. Not long after, equally boring videogame consoles took over the world, until there were so many revolting grey Nintendos and Segas and Playstations and Gameboys, that they had to be transported across deep space to be turned into landfill on distant moons. Meanwhile all Earthbound computers were still fifty shades of grey, until one day Apple changed everything.I remember the shock when their 1988 iMacs were launched. Suddenly we had a choice of computers that looked like see-through giant jellybabies, in a range of five neon colours called gangrene, monkeybum, impetigo, barbie and mince. And that was the end of the adult era in electronics, as a collective madness took over computer marketing. Now users are persuaded to buy machines not for what they do in the adult world, but for their infantile appearance. Users who are normally sane actually enjoy miniature coloured LEDs, winking and blinking through transparent windows like a pixie brothel. Tubes of bubbling, gaudy liquids snake their way through the computer’s guts like tapeworms on acid. Miniature spotlights illuminate cooling fans and heat-sinks from the inside out. These days a serious gamer will spend serious money on a serious PC, then corrupt the whole thing by spraying it with Plasti-Dip peelable, durable, non-slip, rubberised, multi-coloured spew. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have, but a bloke called Xephos made me do it. Let me explain further.

I have been influenced by the newly popular phenomenon of celebrity PCs, where people buy a particular machine simply because their heroes favour it, endorse it or actually commission it in their name. For example one of the world’s most popular videogaming channels on YouTube is called The Yogscast. Last time I counted, it had more than seven and a half million subscribers and over six billion views, and that’s a whole lot of purchasing power. Their founder, this bloke called Xephos, got a business partner of Jeeni to create “the ultimate Yogscast PC range to live stream and play games all day.” And as the factory os not far from me, I went over to mock. But I stayed to pray, and found myself mesmerised by the bloody thing. Bloody as in bejewelled with animated red illuminations inside the see-through casing. Which is how I joined this PC pimping revolution.And even non-gamers are at it. Most regular folk, who normally wear sensible shoes and don’t indulge in bear-baiting or country music, they too have joined the pimping revolution by expressing their personal proclivities via their mobile phones. In the beginning, all mobiles were universally Henry Ford black. Now even old age pensioners wave customised casings around, all lipstick colours, sparkles and cutesy-poo creature decorations. At least, that’s what mine’s like.

But I still suffer from a residual shame over my pimping habit, and like all instant gratification I feel guilty because of it. In fact while looking for a replacement machine recently, I have been quite attracted by one of those shapely models with a bit of sobriety, experience and bulk. And yes, before you ask, it’s black.

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13
Dec

Artist Focus: Baby Panna

The Portsmouth Rapper’s raw, tongue skipping, quick style of rapping is very unique. His raps are a breath of fresh air due to the spoken word, poetry style. Depth and meaning in lyrics are Baby Panna’s forte, you can’t help but digest, despite the pace at which he spits. He keeps up a consistent, fast pace in most of his music, yet it’s still remarkably easy to follow and understand which is rare. He has an alikeness to names such as Hopsin, Immortal Technique, Akala, Capital Steez and Wretch 32 in his lyricism, while his voice has similarity to President T or a British Famous Dex. Baby Panna addresses a lot of current issues we encounter today, such as the ‘Instagram’ popularity/filter façade, love, his demons, materialism and those against him. These hot topics make for some very interesting listening, he is clearly very clued up on for example spirituality, politics, class systems and relationships, which he heavily delves into in each of his tracks. His track ‘T1GR355’ particularly grabbed my attention, the lo-fi style of cut up samples communicates a brilliantly romantic energy while he professes his adoration for a ‘Golden Tigress’ he cannot commit to. The chopped-up guitar and low frequency, oscillating bass adds a lot of emotion and finesse to the track, reminding me of certain romantic Slowthai songs such as ‘Feel Away’. The track ends with an emotional call from who I assume is the aforementioned ‘Golden Tigress’. ‘Grinding’ is a soulful, happy, lighthearted hip hop track, as Baby Panna speaks well of his will to work, progress, and that of his friends. The strings make a great backing for a song of such a topic, you can tell he really enjoyed writing this as it’s got a real bounce to it. That and the positive energy of the song make it truly catchy. The hook is also very catchy, reminding me of ‘New Freezer’ by Rich the Kid and Kendrick Lamar. There’s also a certain Eminem quality to his speed and rhyming patterns, particularly in ‘Murder She Wrote’. The upbeat, fast moving, start-stop nature of the tune is really interesting. While the detuned sounding, almost creepy beat is very unique and hard hitting. Baby Panna does incredibly well to keep up with the beat, that is around 87bpm but in double time. Baby Panna has made his own sound which is brilliant, the alternative rap enthusiast would love his music and the topics he covers. The production in itself is also very different and fresh, we love artists like Baby Panna. Check out Baby Panna on Jeeni here: https://jeeni.com/?s=baby+panna How can Jeeni support artists like Baby Panna? JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience. • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.• We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.• We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.• Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.

17
Mar

What is Music Without Collaborations?

What is music without collaborations? We all know the collaborations that have shaped our musical tastes, Lennon and McCartney, Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg, Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. Even the Strauss brothers worked together on classical orchestral pieces in the late 1800's. The choices are infinite and across all music genres. Whether in the writing or the production, two heads can be better than one. Dr Dre and Snoop Dog - Music Collaborators Within the industry, the 'business' side is also benefitting from collaborating. Last summer, we were delighted to announce the strategic alliance between Jeeni and California-based AmplifyX, the only FINRA and SEC compliant platform that allows investors to build a portfolio by directly funding musicians. The alliance was arranged by Kelli Richards, Jeeni Managing Director USA, who was mentored by Steve Jobs at Apple where she launched and managed the Apple Music and Entertainment division. This alliance gave a major advantage to Jeeni in the USA, our most important global territory in terms of artists and revenues. We gained access to more rising stars along with their followers and fanbases, with mutually advantageous joint promotions and publicity. The partnership will officially kicked off with a global streamed concert, featuring our 10 most popular artists from both sides of the Atlantic, and will be co-branded between Jeeni and AmplifyX. Co-founder of AmplifyX, Bobby Kamaris said, “Our companies run in an adjacent space helping independent artists, and our philosophies and motives are very very close. What you guys at Jeeni have done in putting it together and launching is actually incredible.” Adam Cowherd - CEO of AmplifyX CEO of AmplifyX Adam Cowherd added, "Did you know that artists take home only 12% of the $43 billion spent on music annually, according to Citigroup? [1] The hip-hop artist Russ put it perfectly when he said, 'The music business isn’t set up for the artists to get rich. It’s set up for everyone else to get rich off the artists.' [2] When the mechanics of the music industry are broken down, we see just how many hands are in the pot: record labels, managers, producers, booking agents, and streaming platforms. A report by Ernst & Young highlighted the post-tax payouts of streaming revenue and identified that record labels are taking nearly 75% of the payout. [3] Why are artists today signing with record labels?" Founding Director Shena Mitchell adds, "Working with AmplifyX, is an exciting opportunity for Jeeni to develop strong relations with USA partners. AmplifyX is focused on building a new framework to fund independent artists with their unique platform for artists to raise capital from nontraditional sources. Our visions are entirely complementary and aligned." Jeeni, is the social music platform that brings artists closer to their fans, and shares revenue ethically. Become a member and build your showcase to promote your work and earn from it, or join as a fan and know that your money is going to the people who are entertaining you with their talents. www.jeeni.com www.amplifyx.com

06
Jun

My grandfather was killed by a rubbish truck.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “I admit we’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases. Then we can hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with all our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s one of Mel’s latest! One bright Autumn morning, my grandfather was killed by a rubbish truck. He got run over crossing the road on his regular walk to work. He was 84. And I am comforted to know that he loved his work as much as he loved his walk. As for me, I have yet to reach that ripe old age but I am still working most hours, most days. It's not so much that I love my work, more that I don't know what else to do. When I was younger, so much younger than today, I was promised a sci-fi world where all labour would be performed by robots, leaving us humans to enjoy a more meaningful existence. Before my grandfather was born, Karl Marx wrote that in a mechanised society workers would be freed from the monotony of work to “hunt in the morning, fish in the afternoon, criticise after dinner.” My grandfather certainly never saw such a sci-fi world or Marxist society, and I'm still waiting for it. But the way things are going I may not have to wait much longer for robots to take over the tedium of work. Judging by their behaviour, I suspect that most telemarketers, receptionists, estate agents and bar tenders were replaced by robots ages ago. And for drivers, machine operators and manual workers, it can only be only a matter of time. The first robot aircraft pilot took to the skies then navigated flawlessly and landed safely way back in 1947. Robots have been successfully conducting complex heart surgery since 2004. Artificial intelligence has already reached the cognitive power of a nine year-old human, in which case it is qualified to run for President of the USA in November. But do we really need political leaders to tell us how best to fill our waking hours? If we can develop all these technological wonders then we should be smart enough to work it out for ourselves. Our waking hours are dominated by work, whether we are in work or not. Strikers are depicted as troublemakers. Artists are depicted as idle. The poor are depicted as scroungers. The state cajoles the unemployed, the sick and the disabled to get off their arses and work. We are educated with the goal of work in mind, then having worked all our lives we are grudgingly handed back a mingy pension which we paid for in the first place. The idealised worker works in order to pay the childminder, the Deliveroo driver, the dog walker, the baker, the brewer, the app maker, because the idealised worker has no time left for such things. The idealised worker is too busy working to do any of these things for herself. For huge numbers of us the significance of the old certainties of community, religion, politics, and even family, have all fallen away to be replaced by work. For huge numbers of us work is how we give our lives meaning, while at the same time work has become more precarious, more impersonal, more stressful, and the app-driven gig economy is a perfect example of this. Yet everybody knows that automation is already capable of doing most manual jobs of work, and now artificial intelligence is predicted as achieving the capability of taking over most desk-bound jobs too. Since the pandemic, the entire framework of work is falling apart. But as a species we are not hardwired to work for a living. We never have been. We were lied to by those who said we must work, either to deserve a mythological afterlife, or protect an artificial realm, or for supposed honour, or someone else's glory, or for tokens of currency that can only be spent at the store owned by the company that issues those tokens in the first place. But of course all of those motivations are a con. And an obvious con at that. So here's the thing. Now we have cheap reliable technology, let's get all the robots to do as much of the muscle work as they can, and let's get all the artificial intelligences to do as much of the brain work as they can. Then let's redistribute the remaining working hours evenly to we the people, and in return pay ourselves some of that fabricated stuff called money so we can buy good food and decent shelter. By my reckoning six hours a day, three days a week will do nicely to pick up the slack left by the robots. Work needn't be useless. Work includes child-rearing, caring for the elderly and protecting the vulnerable. It also includes growing food, dreaming up new businesses and fixing the tap. And work includes creating music and dance and poetry and streaming it on Jeeni.com. It is self-evident that all valid work is worth the same valid reward. This is not a Marxist idea, or even a socialist proposal. It's the Tories who bang on about work being such a good thing and everyone pulling their weight, and I completely agree with them. Margaret Thatcher, that champion of work culture, said, “The heresies of one period become the orthodoxies of the next.” Yes indeedy, so bring on the robots and the electronic brains. If work is such a good thing then let everyone have a go for a few hours a week for a universal payment. And don't worry about how the payment is distributed, the accounts have all been reckoned by computers for years. Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

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