I have a confession to make.

Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

I have a confession to make.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “Day 5 and we have reached 98% of our 100K target". If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his website www.melcroucher.net. Here's one of Mel's latest!

I have a confession to make. I have been pimping a young model, and I confess my shame. My pimping is the result of a moment of weakness. I’ve had models before, and I understand their capricious nature. One moment they are willing to perform across my desk, and the next they freeze and refuse to let me do what I want to do. But it has not been any fantasy performance that’s got me hooked, it has been the fantasy looks. I was bored. I wanted colour. I wanted make-up. I wanted dazzle and glitter. I wanted tribal tattoos, hot bubbles, glowing tubes and a whirling fan-dance. Forgive me, but I’ve pimped my computer.

In 1909, Henry Ford declared, “I will build a motor car for the great multitude. It will be constructed of the best materials, by the best men to be hired, after the best designs that modern engineering can devise. And no man making a good salary will be unable to own one.” He then added his famous line, “The customer can have his car painted any colour he wants as long as it’s black.” And so they were. Painted black. When I was young, cars were still mostly black, apart from the odd spot of lipstick around the exhaust pipes of those used in suicide pacts. As for computer manufacturers, they all followed Henry Ford’s marketing strategy for half a century. Except their colour of choice was not black, but the sort of beige favoured by dead maggots. The exception was the ZX Spectrum which was black, but the keyboard really was made of dead maggots. Apart from that aberration, beige was the colour. In fact the beige box came to be used as a term of derision for desktops, implying dated, boring specifications.

For example, IBM's early desktop computers were not only very beige indeed, but also very box-shaped indeed, and most PC clone manufacturers followed suit. As IBM and its imitators came to dominate the industry, beige boxes became the unquestioned norm for boring desktop computer design. Even early Apple Macs were beige boxes, until Apple took the revolutionary step in 1987 of switching to the even more boring shade of Chicken Poo By Moonlight. Not long after, equally boring videogame consoles took over the world, until there were so many revolting grey Nintendos and Segas and Playstations and Gameboys, that they had to be transported across deep space to be turned into landfill on distant moons. Meanwhile all Earthbound computers were still fifty shades of grey, until one day Apple changed everything.I remember the shock when their 1988 iMacs were launched. Suddenly we had a choice of computers that looked like see-through giant jellybabies, in a range of five neon colours called gangrene, monkeybum, impetigo, barbie and mince. And that was the end of the adult era in electronics, as a collective madness took over computer marketing. Now users are persuaded to buy machines not for what they do in the adult world, but for their infantile appearance. Users who are normally sane actually enjoy miniature coloured LEDs, winking and blinking through transparent windows like a pixie brothel. Tubes of bubbling, gaudy liquids snake their way through the computer’s guts like tapeworms on acid. Miniature spotlights illuminate cooling fans and heat-sinks from the inside out. These days a serious gamer will spend serious money on a serious PC, then corrupt the whole thing by spraying it with Plasti-Dip peelable, durable, non-slip, rubberised, multi-coloured spew. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have, but a bloke called Xephos made me do it. Let me explain further.

I have been influenced by the newly popular phenomenon of celebrity PCs, where people buy a particular machine simply because their heroes favour it, endorse it or actually commission it in their name. For example one of the world’s most popular videogaming channels on YouTube is called The Yogscast. Last time I counted, it had more than seven and a half million subscribers and over six billion views, and that’s a whole lot of purchasing power. Their founder, this bloke called Xephos, got a business partner of Jeeni to create “the ultimate Yogscast PC range to live stream and play games all day.” And as the factory os not far from me, I went over to mock. But I stayed to pray, and found myself mesmerised by the bloody thing. Bloody as in bejewelled with animated red illuminations inside the see-through casing. Which is how I joined this PC pimping revolution.And even non-gamers are at it. Most regular folk, who normally wear sensible shoes and don’t indulge in bear-baiting or country music, they too have joined the pimping revolution by expressing their personal proclivities via their mobile phones. In the beginning, all mobiles were universally Henry Ford black. Now even old age pensioners wave customised casings around, all lipstick colours, sparkles and cutesy-poo creature decorations. At least, that’s what mine’s like.

But I still suffer from a residual shame over my pimping habit, and like all instant gratification I feel guilty because of it. In fact while looking for a replacement machine recently, I have been quite attracted by one of those shapely models with a bit of sobriety, experience and bulk. And yes, before you ask, it’s black.

Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

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06
Jun

Mel Croucher - Multimedia Entertainment - Ahead of his Time.

Today, Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “I admit we're ahead of our original schedule, but there's still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases. Then we can hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here's one of Mel's latest! I produced my first multi-media entertainment at the age of eight. It was a birthday gift for my mum. I called it Smellyvision. TV sets had begun to appear in the cleaner homes down my street, but my family was still years away from owning one of those magic boxes with their nine-inch screens. So I made my own. I took a cardboard box and cut a porthole in it, and used my mum's crank-handle mangle to scroll up the storyline that I drew on the reverse of a yard of wallpaper. The soundtrack lasted just under three minutes, which determined the length of my entertainment. It was a recording by the singing cowboy Roy Rogers, played on a shellac disc that spun at 78 revolutions a minute, also driven by a manual crank. But the best bits of my Smellyvision show were the different pongs that accompanied each segment of the story. I can still feel the sting of my mum's flattened hand because I had used her special perfume to enhance the production. The scent was called Evening In Paris, and had been maturing in a little blue bottle too precious to use since the 1930s. I sourced the smell of horses after the coalman's wagon had passed by, and that didn't go down well with my mum either. But how can you have a multimedia show about cowgirls and cowboys without perfume and horseshit? Capcom had exactly the same idea for their videogame Resident Evil 7, and I was not in the least surprised to discover that it too was horseshit. It was marketed as a "4D candle smelling of old timber and blood", with the brand name Blood, Sweat And Fears, and a burning time of 18 hours. The idea was to fire up the stinking candle to enhance gameplay, having handed over fifteen dollars for the privilege. As I have already said, it was crap, unless of course you managed to knock over the candle during your gaming frenzy, and emulate the zombies in the game by setting fire to your face. It wasn’t the first time that Resident Evil had been used to extort money for idiotic multimedia ideas. Back in 2005, there was a crummy accessory for the Nintendo Game Cube device called the Resident Evil 4 Chainsaw Controller. It was nothing more than a standard Game Cube handset with a vibrator unit and a "realistic chainsaw roar", that sounded like a wasp trapped in a jam jar. But gamers seemed to be willing to lay out fifty dollars for the privilege of acting like dorks, so what do I know. In fact Nintendo are serial abusers when it comes to dopey add-ons. Who can forget their Super Scope wireless light gun? Well, just about everybody, it turns out. It was a truly dreadful lump of overpriced plastic that only worked with a handful of games, and devoured AA batteries at the rate of six every four hours. And how about the Nintendo Power Pad which cost anything up to two hundred bucks way back in the 1980s. This was nothing more than a little shiny mat with a dozen or so pressure sensors in it. The idea was to jump around its red and blue squishy bits in order to trigger actions during video gameplay, and break your ankles in doing so. That's why most players resorted to cheating, by going down on all fours and using their fists to bash it into submission, My favourite Nintendo multimedia device is the DK Bongo. It's a totally stupid pair of miniature bongo drums, which suits me just fine. There's a built-in microphone to monitor my bongo-playing skills, and help track my progress as I play along to some of the worst music tracks in recorded history. To be honest, it works just as well if I clap my hands or produce fart noises, but sometimes honesty is not the best policy. After years of misuse, my DK Bongo still works fine and gives me innocent pleasure. Which brings me back to Resident Evil. Since its launch, the Resident Evil series has generated just over one billion dollars, making it the most profitable videogame spin-off in history. The only reward I ever got for my Smellyvision efforts was a sore arse. But I have never claimed to be a profiteer in these matters, only that when it comes to multi-media innovation I have always been way ahead of my time. Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

03
Mar

Artist Focus: Nnaomi

Describing her own music as “euphoric, experimental and nostalgic”, Nnaomi is paving her own exciting path in the RnB and neo-soul corner of music. Portsmouth based Nnaomi has been an essential Jeeni artist for some time now and has most recently added her newest single, ‘Hate Me’ to one of Jeeni’s most rapidly advancing and growing channels, RnB (https://jeeni.com/channel/all-channels/r-and-b/). “At just over 2 minutes long, 'Hate Me’ still manages to progress so organically and timely; it takes its time to set the pace and tone of the story told in the lyrics. At the climax of the track, it feels like Nnaomi’s painful memories begin to swirl more unstably around her head as samples and synths begin to distort, warp and spin around the stereo space. These flittering pieces of audio eventually start to drown out Nnaomi’s voice, painting a tragic image of her thoughts and guilt becoming overpowering and too much to process.” Check out the full review of ‘Hate Me’ here: https://jeeni.com/blog/nnaomi-hate-me-single-review-blog-jeeni/ This newest track promises a lot from Nnaomi and if her short collection of singles says anything at the moment, it’s that she can deliver on them all. Nnaomi describes her singles as “little stories”, “I say this because the songs I make come from my real emotions and real experiences, the beats I choose actually bring emotions and thoughts out of me I feel like I suppress because I’m surprisingly not very good at talking about my feelings, so instead I put it in songs. It’s the easiest way for me to express myself”. From this analysis into her own work, it’s no longer a mystery as to why so much emotion is contained in tracks like ‘Like Me’ and ‘Hate Me’. Mental health, and processing emotions healthily is certainly a recurring theme in Nnaomi’s work, as she explains, “Something that inspires me is my own ability to take advantage of the fact that sometimes my emotions are intense, finding a way to execute it in a healthy way has been amazing because I’m so used to bottling it up, which wasn’t beneficial”. Besides from her methodology in utilising emotions as a key inspiration for her work, Nnaomi’s has some specific masters in the alternative RnB genre to thank for her curious and adventurous creative tendencies. Progressive soul artist, Frank Ocean is a major influence for Nnaomi, as is modern neo-soul singer, SZA. When asked about the similarities in the titles of ‘Like Me’ and ‘Hate Me’, Nnaomi noted that the connection was both coincidental but likely sub-consciously intended at the same time, “I wanted to portray my mental state in a way that was artistic. “Like Me” was written when my views and thoughts on certain things were hopeless and reminiscent. “Hate Me” is like the healing sister. The one that’s accepted the way that “love” and its experiences can sometimes change you for the worst. A much more self-aware and grown-up outlook on love and how to deal with it”; a poignant and layered insight into this partnership of singles. Nnaomi hints at longer projects in the future, however she's currently happy “taking it one step at a time” with fantastic singles like ‘Party’s Over’, ‘Like Me’ and ‘Hate Me’. She’s also excited to arrange more live shows this year as restrictions are the lowest they’ve been in years. Follow Nnaomi on socials to stay updated on what she’s working on: Twitter: https://twitter.com/nomesm_ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/naomim_0/ Check out Nnaomi’s showcase on Jeeni: https://jeeni.com/showcase/nnaomi/ How can Jeeni support artists like Nnaomi? JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience. artist biography • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make. • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way. • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect. • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.

04
Mar

Jeeni’s Giant List of Channels!

Jeeni welcomes and supports a giant range of talent and art from music, spoken word, dance and more. Jeeni’s channels help viewers find exactly what they’re looking for and as a result, artists can select up to four channels that their art covers to reach those audiences. Jeeni’s prime goal is to bring attention to artists that deserve it and luckily for all of our viewers, Jeeni is packed with them. Jeeni has over 100 channels of talent ripe for exploring and compiling. Anyone and everyone can create and share playlists from all of the channels that we offer and it’s absolutely free to sign up. Finding talent on Jeeni couldn’t be easier, simply choose a channel that interests you, from ambient, to death-metal, to slam poetry and begin unearthing Jeeni artists and their craft. Here are just some of the channels Jeeni has to offer: Hip-hop: https://jeeni.com/channel/all-channels/hip-hop/ One of Jeeni’s most frequented channels, hip-hop has anything from jazz rap (Cassius Gray) , hip house (WesLi D), afroswing (I K 8OY), conscious rap (Baby Panna) and instrumental hip-hop (Big Frank) added to it week-by-week. Cassius Gray: Cassius Gray is a 23 year old rapper, musician from South West London. Fusing soulful instrumentals, with introspective lyrics and a unique intonation, Cassius gives the listener an honest reflection on his approach to life - as a young man. WesLi D: Hailing from North West London, artist and producer WesLi D brings a refreshing take to UK underground and alternative rap using a blend of styles; from melodic and bouncy to somber and thoughtful, his expression is not limited sonically by any means. I K 8OY: I K 8OY is a Nigerian/British rising star. Although he describes his music as versatile, his musical style fits primarily within the Afrobeat mix genre with melodic rap – otherwise called as Afro-swing or Afro-pop. Baby Panna: Rapper Baby Panna is still in the preliminary stages of his career, but his new EP amplifies a hunger that seems to have been with him from the start. His style flitters between melodic, acoustically composed hip-hop and psychedelic trap. Big Frank: Big Frank is a Hip Hop producer from Cornwall, based in London. Since moving to the city in 2017 he has worked as a producer and engineer, and established his sound. His style is a blend of classic Hip Hop sounds, and experimental textures. Expect more releases with the UK underground's best rappers and singers in 2022. Folk: https://jeeni.com/channel/all-channels/folk/ Daisy Chute A style of music as timeless and broad as folk never fails to both calm and inspire its fans. Keeping more traditional folk sentiments alive is the incredible Daisy Chute. Daisy has been an important and keen part of Jeeni by creating and uploading her enchanting tracks to Jeeni’s folk channel. She was also a key part of Jeeni’s artist partnership programme alongside Arianna May. Check out Daisy’s showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/daisy-chute/ Richard Murray Bordering with country as well as folk is singer/songwriter, Richard Murray. Hailing from Northern Ireland, Richard Murray specialises in expanding the ideas some might have about country and folk music. He pushes the envelope in these genres by introducing alternative instruments, song writing approaches and mindsets. Richard contributed the entirety of his stellar last album, ‘Fire Sale’ onto Jeeni and we were then delighted to review the warm, romantic record, “With lush, full arrangements, creative use of instrumentation and authoritative vocal performances, Richard Murray’s newest album, ‘Fire Sale’ might just be his most impactful to date since his debut in 2007.” Check Richard’s brilliant and extensive showcase out on Jeeni here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/richardmurraymusic/ Rock: https://jeeni.com/channel/all-channels/rock/ Another strongly prevalent channel on Jeeni, is the sweeping genre of rock music. Jeeni boasts a formidable and growing roster of rockstars such as award-winning Eden James, revolutionary Giack Bazz and the newly formed five-piece, Respite. Eden James: Eden James is an indie rock-pop recording artist, winning multiple music awards from his native home of Australia and achieving a number one hit in Greece. Classic Rock magazine UK recently reviewed his new album 'All the Good Blank Are Taken' saying “Oozes urban cool and Springsteen swagger… a concise collision of catchiness and class.” Here’s Eden James’ showcase on Jeeni: https://jeeni.com/showcase/edenjames/?view=about Giack Bazz: Giack Bazz is an explosive, relentless multi-instrumentalist songwriter based in London. The artist started igniting stages with his painfully honest lyrics and his screaming telecaster in 2015. He has since released three solo albums that were critically acclaimed (Blowup magazine, Decade, Rumore). Check out Giack Bazz’s showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/giack-bazz/?view=about Respite: Alt-rock quintet hailing from Glasgow, Scotland. Respite blends elements of punk, post-hardcore and pop music, with lyrics and vocals heavily inspired by pop-punk and emo. Influenced by bands such as Don Broco, Mallory Knox and A Day To Remember, Respite deliver catchy and energetic earworms with a subtle depth. Check Respite’s Jeeni showcase out here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/respite-band/?view=videos Jeeni also features a huge amount of the niche-est of niche genres and talents including slam poetry, audiobooks, various dance talent and loads more. Go exploring Jeeni's library of talent!

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