Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

I have a confession to make.

/ By
I have a confession to make.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “Day 5 and we have reached 98% of our 100K target". If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his website www.melcroucher.net. Here's one of Mel's latest!

I have a confession to make. I have been pimping a young model, and I confess my shame. My pimping is the result of a moment of weakness. I’ve had models before, and I understand their capricious nature. One moment they are willing to perform across my desk, and the next they freeze and refuse to let me do what I want to do. But it has not been any fantasy performance that’s got me hooked, it has been the fantasy looks. I was bored. I wanted colour. I wanted make-up. I wanted dazzle and glitter. I wanted tribal tattoos, hot bubbles, glowing tubes and a whirling fan-dance. Forgive me, but I’ve pimped my computer.

In 1909, Henry Ford declared, “I will build a motor car for the great multitude. It will be constructed of the best materials, by the best men to be hired, after the best designs that modern engineering can devise. And no man making a good salary will be unable to own one.” He then added his famous line, “The customer can have his car painted any colour he wants as long as it’s black.” And so they were. Painted black. When I was young, cars were still mostly black, apart from the odd spot of lipstick around the exhaust pipes of those used in suicide pacts. As for computer manufacturers, they all followed Henry Ford’s marketing strategy for half a century. Except their colour of choice was not black, but the sort of beige favoured by dead maggots. The exception was the ZX Spectrum which was black, but the keyboard really was made of dead maggots. Apart from that aberration, beige was the colour. In fact the beige box came to be used as a term of derision for desktops, implying dated, boring specifications.

For example, IBM's early desktop computers were not only very beige indeed, but also very box-shaped indeed, and most PC clone manufacturers followed suit. As IBM and its imitators came to dominate the industry, beige boxes became the unquestioned norm for boring desktop computer design. Even early Apple Macs were beige boxes, until Apple took the revolutionary step in 1987 of switching to the even more boring shade of Chicken Poo By Moonlight. Not long after, equally boring videogame consoles took over the world, until there were so many revolting grey Nintendos and Segas and Playstations and Gameboys, that they had to be transported across deep space to be turned into landfill on distant moons. Meanwhile all Earthbound computers were still fifty shades of grey, until one day Apple changed everything.I remember the shock when their 1988 iMacs were launched. Suddenly we had a choice of computers that looked like see-through giant jellybabies, in a range of five neon colours called gangrene, monkeybum, impetigo, barbie and mince. And that was the end of the adult era in electronics, as a collective madness took over computer marketing. Now users are persuaded to buy machines not for what they do in the adult world, but for their infantile appearance. Users who are normally sane actually enjoy miniature coloured LEDs, winking and blinking through transparent windows like a pixie brothel. Tubes of bubbling, gaudy liquids snake their way through the computer’s guts like tapeworms on acid. Miniature spotlights illuminate cooling fans and heat-sinks from the inside out. These days a serious gamer will spend serious money on a serious PC, then corrupt the whole thing by spraying it with Plasti-Dip peelable, durable, non-slip, rubberised, multi-coloured spew. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have, but a bloke called Xephos made me do it. Let me explain further.

I have been influenced by the newly popular phenomenon of celebrity PCs, where people buy a particular machine simply because their heroes favour it, endorse it or actually commission it in their name. For example one of the world’s most popular videogaming channels on YouTube is called The Yogscast. Last time I counted, it had more than seven and a half million subscribers and over six billion views, and that’s a whole lot of purchasing power. Their founder, this bloke called Xephos, got a business partner of Jeeni to create “the ultimate Yogscast PC range to live stream and play games all day.” And as the factory os not far from me, I went over to mock. But I stayed to pray, and found myself mesmerised by the bloody thing. Bloody as in bejewelled with animated red illuminations inside the see-through casing. Which is how I joined this PC pimping revolution.And even non-gamers are at it. Most regular folk, who normally wear sensible shoes and don’t indulge in bear-baiting or country music, they too have joined the pimping revolution by expressing their personal proclivities via their mobile phones. In the beginning, all mobiles were universally Henry Ford black. Now even old age pensioners wave customised casings around, all lipstick colours, sparkles and cutesy-poo creature decorations. At least, that’s what mine’s like.

But I still suffer from a residual shame over my pimping habit, and like all instant gratification I feel guilty because of it. In fact while looking for a replacement machine recently, I have been quite attracted by one of those shapely models with a bit of sobriety, experience and bulk. And yes, before you ask, it’s black.

Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

22
Jun

Oasis Maybe at The Gaiety Southsea on South Parade Pier

COMPETITION TIME WIN FREE ACCESS FOR A GROUP OF 6  Oasis Maybe at The Gaiety Southsea on South Parade Pier Sunday 13th June 7pm - 11pm Oasis Maybe were formed in late 2013 in Birmingham by five close friends and fans of Oasis. Since forming they have become one of the most in demand Oasis tribute bands on the scene and boasting to be the only Oasis tribute band to have performed live with an original Oasis band member – Tony McCarroll. They attempt to capture the sound look and feel of the Band from the 1994-1997 era performing tracks from ‘Definitely Maybe’ and ‘What’s the Story Morning Glory’ with a few famous B-sides thrown in for good measure. GIVEAWAY! We have 3 x tables for 6 people to give away for free, for the Oasis Tribute band at South parade pier in the Gaiety on Sunday night from 7pm to 11pm again saving £60 per table. How to win: All you have to do is like and share this blog post and we will enter you into the draw to be announced Saturday Night 12 June 2021 at 8pm.  Full Details of event can be found at: https://book.events/maybeoasis/2021-06-13/29861 #oasistribute #britpop #oasismaybe #pop #rock #livemusicinportsmouth #tonymccarroll

26
Mar

Jeeni Live Music Festival

By Kelli Richards: Jeeni USA MD I’ve decided that I’m going to write blogs periodically about some of the cool clients I’m fortunate enough to work with.  One of them is a UK-based venture called JEENI  run by long-time client, colleague and friend — Mel Croucher; a legend in the UK games industry.   Simply put, JEENI is a multi-channel streaming service for independent musicians and performers, providing a unique showcase to put undiscovered talent in front of a global audience. JEENI artists get to keep 100% of everything they earn from the sale of their music and merchandise. JEENI audiences are given the power to vote, donate and be rewarded too. JEENI treats its members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect. Their numbers have been growing steadily over the past year or so, and this past weekend they ran a Live Music Festival featuring some of the amazing musicians in the global community.  As an homage to my former A&R role at EMI, I was really impressed with the talent of several of the featured artists.  The highlights reel runs about an hour, and that’s time well spent to discover some wonderful talent and be entertained by artists you others might not hear about — not yet anyway.  It’s quite an eclectic line-up but some of my personal favorites from this festival include:  red-headed wunderkind Harvie Joy, teen guitar virtuoso Toby Lee, vocalist Jem Cooke who appears to be channeling Adele, multi-instrumentalist Daniel Gerendas, and a spine-tingling track from Zeeteeah Massiah. I promise if you invest an hour in watching this online music festival, you’ll be very pleasantly rewarded.  And consider joining JEENI as well! The incredible talented Zeeteah Massiah who starred in the Festival will be playing at The Crazy Cogs on Thursday the 8th of October 2020, if you fancy seeing her gig live. https://www.brasseriezedel.com/crazy-coqs/

19
Oct

Afro-Futurist Project - Onipa

Onipa is an Afro-Futurist project from Ghana/ London founded in 2018 by K.O.G (founder of K.O.G and the Zongo Brigade) and Tom Excell (founder of Nubiyan Twist). Alongside bandmates Finn Booth (Nubiyan Twist) and Wonky Logic (Steam Down).  Afro-futurist sensations Onipa combine deep afro grooves, electronics and fierce energy in an effervescent celebration of cultural and musical encounters. ONIPA means ‘human’ in Akan, the ancient language of the Ashanti people of Ghana. It’s a message of connection through collaboration: from Ghana to London, our ancestors to our children. Bringing energy, groove, electronics, afrofuturism, dance and fire! Jeeni’s mission is to support artists just like Onipa, showcasing their talent and support them to reach their full potential by having a showcase on jeeni.com. Since their debut showcase at The Great Escape festival, Onipa have gone on to sell out the Jazz Cafe, London and play 40 summer shows around the UK and Europe in 2019. Including, Glastonbury (Truth Stage), Shambala (Dance Tent), Fellabration (Paradiso, Amsterdam) and headline shows in Zanzibar and La Reunion Island in 2020. The group performed in Australia in front of a 5000-strong crowd during a celebration of Nelson Mandela's 100th birthday. As well as Damon Albarn's 'The Circus' in Leyton, London.  Their debut album We No Be Machine has a 4* review from MOJO and UK radio play from Benji B, Tom Ravenscroft and Gideon Coe. However, coverage and touring were all badly hit by the pandemic. Despite this, Onipa still managed to record an immersive live performance at Peter Gabriel's Real World Studios for WOMAD as well as showcasing at SXSW and We Out Here online. Additionally, they are currently working on their next record.  JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience. • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.• We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.• We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect. Check out Onipa's showcase here on Jeeni:  Onipa | Showcase | JEENI. Along with other showcases to add to your playlist. jeeni.com.