I have a confession to make.

Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

I have a confession to make.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “Day 5 and we have reached 98% of our 100K target". If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his website www.melcroucher.net. Here's one of Mel's latest!

I have a confession to make. I have been pimping a young model, and I confess my shame. My pimping is the result of a moment of weakness. I’ve had models before, and I understand their capricious nature. One moment they are willing to perform across my desk, and the next they freeze and refuse to let me do what I want to do. But it has not been any fantasy performance that’s got me hooked, it has been the fantasy looks. I was bored. I wanted colour. I wanted make-up. I wanted dazzle and glitter. I wanted tribal tattoos, hot bubbles, glowing tubes and a whirling fan-dance. Forgive me, but I’ve pimped my computer.

In 1909, Henry Ford declared, “I will build a motor car for the great multitude. It will be constructed of the best materials, by the best men to be hired, after the best designs that modern engineering can devise. And no man making a good salary will be unable to own one.” He then added his famous line, “The customer can have his car painted any colour he wants as long as it’s black.” And so they were. Painted black. When I was young, cars were still mostly black, apart from the odd spot of lipstick around the exhaust pipes of those used in suicide pacts. As for computer manufacturers, they all followed Henry Ford’s marketing strategy for half a century. Except their colour of choice was not black, but the sort of beige favoured by dead maggots. The exception was the ZX Spectrum which was black, but the keyboard really was made of dead maggots. Apart from that aberration, beige was the colour. In fact the beige box came to be used as a term of derision for desktops, implying dated, boring specifications.

For example, IBM's early desktop computers were not only very beige indeed, but also very box-shaped indeed, and most PC clone manufacturers followed suit. As IBM and its imitators came to dominate the industry, beige boxes became the unquestioned norm for boring desktop computer design. Even early Apple Macs were beige boxes, until Apple took the revolutionary step in 1987 of switching to the even more boring shade of Chicken Poo By Moonlight. Not long after, equally boring videogame consoles took over the world, until there were so many revolting grey Nintendos and Segas and Playstations and Gameboys, that they had to be transported across deep space to be turned into landfill on distant moons. Meanwhile all Earthbound computers were still fifty shades of grey, until one day Apple changed everything.I remember the shock when their 1988 iMacs were launched. Suddenly we had a choice of computers that looked like see-through giant jellybabies, in a range of five neon colours called gangrene, monkeybum, impetigo, barbie and mince. And that was the end of the adult era in electronics, as a collective madness took over computer marketing. Now users are persuaded to buy machines not for what they do in the adult world, but for their infantile appearance. Users who are normally sane actually enjoy miniature coloured LEDs, winking and blinking through transparent windows like a pixie brothel. Tubes of bubbling, gaudy liquids snake their way through the computer’s guts like tapeworms on acid. Miniature spotlights illuminate cooling fans and heat-sinks from the inside out. These days a serious gamer will spend serious money on a serious PC, then corrupt the whole thing by spraying it with Plasti-Dip peelable, durable, non-slip, rubberised, multi-coloured spew. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have, but a bloke called Xephos made me do it. Let me explain further.

I have been influenced by the newly popular phenomenon of celebrity PCs, where people buy a particular machine simply because their heroes favour it, endorse it or actually commission it in their name. For example one of the world’s most popular videogaming channels on YouTube is called The Yogscast. Last time I counted, it had more than seven and a half million subscribers and over six billion views, and that’s a whole lot of purchasing power. Their founder, this bloke called Xephos, got a business partner of Jeeni to create “the ultimate Yogscast PC range to live stream and play games all day.” And as the factory os not far from me, I went over to mock. But I stayed to pray, and found myself mesmerised by the bloody thing. Bloody as in bejewelled with animated red illuminations inside the see-through casing. Which is how I joined this PC pimping revolution.And even non-gamers are at it. Most regular folk, who normally wear sensible shoes and don’t indulge in bear-baiting or country music, they too have joined the pimping revolution by expressing their personal proclivities via their mobile phones. In the beginning, all mobiles were universally Henry Ford black. Now even old age pensioners wave customised casings around, all lipstick colours, sparkles and cutesy-poo creature decorations. At least, that’s what mine’s like.

But I still suffer from a residual shame over my pimping habit, and like all instant gratification I feel guilty because of it. In fact while looking for a replacement machine recently, I have been quite attracted by one of those shapely models with a bit of sobriety, experience and bulk. And yes, before you ask, it’s black.

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23
Feb

A Legendary NME Journo, his New Book and Other Tales

About to release his third book, a novel entitled 'The Unstable Boys', legendary NME journo Nick Kent, is interviewed by his stable-mate, Kevin EG Perry about his new book and other tales from his extraordinary career. The Unstable Boys - Nick Kent's new novel Nick Kent started writing for NME in 1972, which was a good year to be a rock’n’roll writer. And no writer in Britain was more rock’n’roll than Kent, who was soon as notorious for wearing a perpetually ripped pair of leather trousers and dating Chrissie Hynde as he was for writing novelistic profiles of enigmatic figures such as Syd Barrett and Lou Reed. Even now, almost half a century on, stories of Kent’s escapades and expenses-claims get passed down like lore at NME. There’s a good one about the time he flew to LA to profile Jethro Tull in 1975 and somehow wound up on a bender with Iggy Pop. Holed up in the Continental Hyatt House hotel on Sunset Boulevard, they hit upon the cunning wheeze of telling visiting drug dealers that they could help themselves to whatever they wanted from the luxury shops in the lobby and charge it to Kent’s room – leaving poor old Jethro Tull to pick up the tab. Truly, a grift for the ages. NIck Kent - Legendary NME Journalist Kent published the best of his collected rock writing in 1994 as The Dark Stuff and followed that essential tome in 2010 with his ‘70s memoir Apathy For The Devil. He’s just published his third book – his first novel – The Unstable Boys, which concerns the unhinged frontman of a mostly-forgotten ‘60s band appearing on the doorstop of his biggest fan after many years in obscurity. Over a video call from his home in Paris, Kent – 69 and just as louche as ever – discussed the book’s origins and held court about a life spent at the unforgiving coalface of rock’n’roll. On his no-fucks-given style Things weren’t looking good for NME when Kent first slouched through its doors in ‘72. Sales were so bad that the editors had been given just 12 issues to save the magazine. They hired Kent and other new writers such as Charles Shaar Murray and Ian MacDonald from the alternative press. The magazine then saw a huge jump in sales – but not for the reason Kent wanted to believe. “The assistant editor Nick Logan called me into his office at the end of the year and said, ‘Well, we’ve got great news – we’re outselling the Melody Maker’, which was a big deal at the time,’” remembers Kent. “He said: ‘In fact, we’re the biggest selling music weekly in the world!’ Pats on the back all round! I was standing there thinking he was gonna say: ‘It’s all you, Murray and MacDonald, you wonderful, beautiful people!’ “Not at all. He said: ‘We’ve done a survey of new readers to ask them why they buy the thing. They don’t buy it for the articles. They don’t read the articles, except for the quotes. They might look for a David Bowie quote, but they’re not interested in what the writers are writing. The only thing they actually read is the gossip column on the last page.’ What they really wanted to know was: What did Bowie’s latest haircut look like? And were Led Zeppelin playing a gig near where they lived? “After I picked my wounded ego up off the floor, I came to the very quick conclusion that I was writing for an audience with an extremely short attention span. I realised I had to go to extremes, because I would not be ignored! 300,000 people were buying the NME and the idiots weren’t reading it! That affected the way I wrote. You’ve got to grab them with the first sentence and say: ‘The action starts here’ you cannot not read this.’ I’m living proof that going to extremes gets results. The problem is that they may not be the exact results that you set out to attain.” Access all areas Kent went to extremes on the page and off it, where he found that the road of excess led not to the palace of wisdom but to a debilitating heroin addiction. His best work included an epic feature about the tortured genius of Brian Wilson, which ran to 10,000 words and was published across three issues of NME. He was also granted unprecedented access to a Rolling Stones tour and wrote memorably about the strange, distant atmosphere backstage and the darkness lurking in Jagger and Richards’ “numb, burned-out cool”. “There’s this whole idea that the writers of that time were the reason why the NME was so successful,” he says, “and that’s partly true, but the main reason was that we had more access back then to Bowie, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and the other big names of the ‘70s. There was a kind of give-and-take there, and I was lucky enough to get into that.” That time he was a Sex Pistol Kent first met punk impresario Malcolm McLaren in December 1973, when he went to France to interview the New York Dolls and found McLaren among their entourage. The pair became close and regularly dined together – along with their partners, Vivienne Westwood and Hynde – at what the writer describes “the only Indian restaurant in Clapham South”. When McLaren sacked guitarist Wally Nightingale from an early line-up of The Sex Pistols because he didn’t think he fit the band’s look, he asked Kent to replace him. Kent spent three months playing with guitarist Steve Jones and drummer Paul Cook, but says he never quite matched the Sex Pistol temperament. “What I learned from playing with The Sex Pistols was that there’s a big difference between a middle-class guitar player and a working-class guitar player,” says Kent. “For a working-class guitar player, it’s all about repetition. It’s like that Johnny Ramone thing of playing the same chords over and over again. If you’re a guy like me, I’ll play a three chord riff like ‘Louie Louie’ for a minute but then I’ll get bored and throw something a bit jazzy in, and immediately that’s like going into Radiohead-land! My Sex Pistols experience taught me that I’m a middle-class guitar player.” On the rocker who reminds him Trump Kent’s new novel The Unstable Boys centres around the titular band’s grotesque, narcissistic frontman, known as ‘The Boy’. Given his abrasive personality traits, it’s no surprise that The Boy idolises Donald Trump – and Kent says he noticed plenty of parallels between the former President and some of the more self-absorbed rock stars he’s encountered over the years. “The rock star that really reminded me of Trump is Axl Rose,” says Kent. “I went out to America in 1991 at the height of Guns N’ Roses mania. They were the biggest group in America at that time. At almost every gig they played there would be a riot. Axl would usually be late, and then he’d come on stage and spend 10 minutes putting down whatever celebrity had said something in the press about him. I saw him once put down Warren Beatty because Warren Beatty had dated his girlfriend. “We got 10 minutes of: ‘What an arsehole!’ He was using the stage as a forum for his own narcissistic shit fits, just like Trump. At least Axl Rose could perform and could sing well, whereas Trump has neither talent. He doesn’t have any talent! He’s the ultimate huckster.” And the horror story behind The Unstable Boys In The Unstable Boys, things take a turn for the worse when ‘The Boy’ turns up at the home of a wealthy crime writer who also happens to be his band’s biggest fan. Kent says he was inspired by a real tale involving the British rock’n’roller Vince Taylor, who sang the 1959 hit ‘Brand New Cadillac’. “He was one of the best early British rock singers – one of the only ones, actually,” says Kent. “He’s probably best-known now because he became the inspiration for Ziggy Stardust. Bowie had met him in the ‘60s and became fascinated by him. By the ‘70s, Taylor had gone from bad to worse and he was basically penniless. He would just turn up on the doorsteps of people that he imagined were fans of his. He turned up on the doorstep of his fan club president in Switzerland and of course the guy invited him in – this was his hero! Things didn’t go well. Before long his wife left him, his dog disappeared and his pub burnt down." Kent adds that he’s been working on the novel in some form or another since his wife Laurence first told him Taylor’s story back in 1990, so he’s delighted to finally see the story in print three decades on. “When I’d finished it, for about two or three hours afterwards I felt really, really good,” says Kent. “High in a way that eclipsed all the drug highs I’ve ever had.” – Nick Kent’s The Unstable Boys is out now via Constable www.jeeni.com www.nme.com

10
Dec

Deadline for Kickstart Employment Opportunity set for December the 17th

The governmental Kickstart scheme was introduced by Rishi Sunak as a response to covid-19 and the difficulty it created in employment for young people. Since its implementation last September, the initiative has boosted the careers of over 100,000 young people in the UK (figure from November, 2021). This scheme has revolutionised the way young people find their passion, career and purpose in a time when they need it most. That's why Jeeni is so proud to be making good use of the Kickstart scheme to train, support and build the portfolios of people aged 16-24 and on universal credit. Available only on or before the 17th of December, 2021, here's why you can't afford not to take this opportunity. The Kickstart scheme is invaluable for both employers and employees, because companies can build a workforce at no cost to them, and young people get paid positions in the industry of their passion. The Government provides the grants to cover 100% of wages and national insurance contributions for well-qualified, pre-screened young workers on universal credit. The positions span across 6 months for up to 25 hours work a week and you receive a £1,500 cash injection into your business for each new person you take on with Kickstart. Find out more about universal credit here: https://www.gov.uk/universal-credit Although the governmental Kickstart scheme itself provides this crucial helping hand for companies and graduates, websites like Gradfuel are vital in guiding those graduates to the perfect Kickstart role for their careers. Gradfuel is a mediator between the Kickstart scheme and those it was designed to help. They provide an interpersonal and proactive connection to young people looking for a career path and “matches you with the perfect graduate jobs”. The pool of possibilities after education can seem endless and overwhelming, so a company like Gradfuel that takes you by the hand and leads you to a company that needs you as much as you need them is an extraordinarily valuable service. Gradfuel has a 97% success rate for Kickstart applications and each one will earn over £7,500 across their 6-month placement. They have over 65,000 young people in their database and have raised £18.3 million in grant funding. Happy customers such as friend-finding app, ‘Fethr’ have praised Gradfuel’s usefulness and outreach saying, “The learnings from Gradfuel and their expertise around the scheme, has saved us a lot of time, as they have thousands of candidates they’re engaged with and have really found their groove in attracting talent”. Dating app, ‘Thursday’ have also expressed their satisfaction with Gradfuel’s connection between the Kickstart scheme and young people, “Gradfuel are brilliant, they've helped us source all our young talent, from anything to data analysts to marketers, we've been very impressed.” Visit: https://grants.gradfuel.co/direct-applications/ to find out more about Gradfuel and to sign up. Remember, the registration deadline is on December the 17th, 2021. Jeeni can personally attest to the effectiveness and value of using the Kickstart scheme through Gradfuel. Zak Ahmed, Jeeni’s HR specialist had this to say about the opportunity, "The Kickstart Scheme has helped me gain the vital experience I need as a recent Masters graduate. I've found a very meaningful role here at Jeeni, where I'm progressing quicker than I could've imagined!". Ella Venvell used Gradfuel to find her Kickstart position as Jeeni’s Artist Liaison and Marketing Leader, “The kickstart scheme has given me an invaluable experience which has helped me learn about the professional world as well as given me the time to develop myself and my portfolio.” and with regards to Gradfuel, Ella said that it’s “helped me find a job doing what I love, and am hoping to do as my lifetime career." In many ways, the Kickstart scheme is the lifeblood of Jeeni; it’s the reason we can support up-and-coming artists, it’s the reason we can provide an invaluable service for viewers to discover new talent and it’s the reason you can read about it all, right now. Check out some of the Inside Stories carried out by Jeeni's own Kickstart employees: https://jeeni.com/?s=inside+story If this interests you either as a company or a potential employee, act fast as the registration deadline for the Kickstart scheme is on December the 17th. Follow: https://grants.gradfuel.co/direct-applications/ to sign up now or learn more about gradfuel and the Kickstart scheme.

22
Jul

New Survey Reveals How Music Helped the UK Through Lockdown

UK Music has published a new survey that reveals the crucial role music played in helping people through Covid-19 lockdowns - and how the public are craving the return of live music. The survey is the largest of its kind since the start of the coronavirus pandemic, which decimated large parts of the music industry across most of the planet in 2020. The key findings of the survey revealed: 57% of adults said music had helped them cope with lockdownAround one million adults say they have taken up an instrument during lockdown71% think music makes them more productive at work/studying Additionally, the survey reveals how the public are keen to flock back to live music and believe music helps them cope with stress and anxiety. “Music has been vital not only in helping the public cope with the impact of the Covid-19 lockdowns and improving mental health and wellbeing, but also in making people more productive while they work. Combined with the huge economic contribution the music industry made pre-Covid-19, this is further evidence that the UK music industry is a key national asset that should be protected and supported by Government. With the right support, music can continue to play a vital role in improving people’s health and wellbeing in the months ahead as we look to recover from this pandemic." Said UK Music Chief Executive Jamie Njoku-Goodwin. The findings are a huge boost to the UK music industry, which has been devastated by the ongoing impact of the Covid-19 pandemic. The sector contributed £5.8 billion to the UK economy pre-Covid-19 and supports around 200,000 jobs. Furthermore, it clearly shows how music has helped the UK through lockdown and proves the importance of the national music industry. Artists should be supported during these turbulent times, and Jeeni does that, by supporting creative talent using an ethical approach. On Jeeni, artists and creatives keep 100% of everything they earn, and thousands of performers are already on board, with an audience outreach that has grown to over two million. The growth of Jeeni has been so fast that they marked Government promises by turning to crowdfunding to expand their capacity to meet demand, raising over £46,000 in a few hours. Check out their campaign HERE and join the list of supporters and celebrities who are flocking to the cause.

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