I have a confession to make.

Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

I have a confession to make.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “Day 5 and we have reached 98% of our 100K target". If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his website www.melcroucher.net. Here's one of Mel's latest!

I have a confession to make. I have been pimping a young model, and I confess my shame. My pimping is the result of a moment of weakness. I’ve had models before, and I understand their capricious nature. One moment they are willing to perform across my desk, and the next they freeze and refuse to let me do what I want to do. But it has not been any fantasy performance that’s got me hooked, it has been the fantasy looks. I was bored. I wanted colour. I wanted make-up. I wanted dazzle and glitter. I wanted tribal tattoos, hot bubbles, glowing tubes and a whirling fan-dance. Forgive me, but I’ve pimped my computer.

In 1909, Henry Ford declared, “I will build a motor car for the great multitude. It will be constructed of the best materials, by the best men to be hired, after the best designs that modern engineering can devise. And no man making a good salary will be unable to own one.” He then added his famous line, “The customer can have his car painted any colour he wants as long as it’s black.” And so they were. Painted black. When I was young, cars were still mostly black, apart from the odd spot of lipstick around the exhaust pipes of those used in suicide pacts. As for computer manufacturers, they all followed Henry Ford’s marketing strategy for half a century. Except their colour of choice was not black, but the sort of beige favoured by dead maggots. The exception was the ZX Spectrum which was black, but the keyboard really was made of dead maggots. Apart from that aberration, beige was the colour. In fact the beige box came to be used as a term of derision for desktops, implying dated, boring specifications.

For example, IBM's early desktop computers were not only very beige indeed, but also very box-shaped indeed, and most PC clone manufacturers followed suit. As IBM and its imitators came to dominate the industry, beige boxes became the unquestioned norm for boring desktop computer design. Even early Apple Macs were beige boxes, until Apple took the revolutionary step in 1987 of switching to the even more boring shade of Chicken Poo By Moonlight. Not long after, equally boring videogame consoles took over the world, until there were so many revolting grey Nintendos and Segas and Playstations and Gameboys, that they had to be transported across deep space to be turned into landfill on distant moons. Meanwhile all Earthbound computers were still fifty shades of grey, until one day Apple changed everything.I remember the shock when their 1988 iMacs were launched. Suddenly we had a choice of computers that looked like see-through giant jellybabies, in a range of five neon colours called gangrene, monkeybum, impetigo, barbie and mince. And that was the end of the adult era in electronics, as a collective madness took over computer marketing. Now users are persuaded to buy machines not for what they do in the adult world, but for their infantile appearance. Users who are normally sane actually enjoy miniature coloured LEDs, winking and blinking through transparent windows like a pixie brothel. Tubes of bubbling, gaudy liquids snake their way through the computer’s guts like tapeworms on acid. Miniature spotlights illuminate cooling fans and heat-sinks from the inside out. These days a serious gamer will spend serious money on a serious PC, then corrupt the whole thing by spraying it with Plasti-Dip peelable, durable, non-slip, rubberised, multi-coloured spew. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have, but a bloke called Xephos made me do it. Let me explain further.

I have been influenced by the newly popular phenomenon of celebrity PCs, where people buy a particular machine simply because their heroes favour it, endorse it or actually commission it in their name. For example one of the world’s most popular videogaming channels on YouTube is called The Yogscast. Last time I counted, it had more than seven and a half million subscribers and over six billion views, and that’s a whole lot of purchasing power. Their founder, this bloke called Xephos, got a business partner of Jeeni to create “the ultimate Yogscast PC range to live stream and play games all day.” And as the factory os not far from me, I went over to mock. But I stayed to pray, and found myself mesmerised by the bloody thing. Bloody as in bejewelled with animated red illuminations inside the see-through casing. Which is how I joined this PC pimping revolution.And even non-gamers are at it. Most regular folk, who normally wear sensible shoes and don’t indulge in bear-baiting or country music, they too have joined the pimping revolution by expressing their personal proclivities via their mobile phones. In the beginning, all mobiles were universally Henry Ford black. Now even old age pensioners wave customised casings around, all lipstick colours, sparkles and cutesy-poo creature decorations. At least, that’s what mine’s like.

But I still suffer from a residual shame over my pimping habit, and like all instant gratification I feel guilty because of it. In fact while looking for a replacement machine recently, I have been quite attracted by one of those shapely models with a bit of sobriety, experience and bulk. And yes, before you ask, it’s black.

Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

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10
Jun

Spotify Billionaire CEO Daniel Ek is out of touch with reality.

Spotify’s economic model has been widely condemned by musicians and songwriters for years, with critics claiming that the service pays out paltry royalties and gives major-label artists an unfair advantage via playlist placement and other promotional avenues. But according to CEO Daniel Ek, the problem is not Spotify, it’s those lazy musicians! The response among musicians and performers on social media has been extremely negative with many paying subscribers boycotting Spotify because of how badly it treats musicians. In 2020 more than any other year since Spotify launched, there’s been a surge of musicians talking publicly about their streaming royalties not being enough to live on – including a campaign in the UK (#BrokenRecord) that has trained its sights not just on streaming services, but on labels and the wider industry structures. Tom Gray who started #BrokneRecord campaign states: "This has been problematic for such a long time, and that’s why I call it ‘Broken Record’ because there’s nothing new about this. I’m just saying basically the same things that you’ve heard a million times. But the context has completely changed.” Many artists and fans believe there are no alternatives or options when it comes to music streaming. Being told by a billionaire to work harder and faster, isn’t likely to be the best artistic motivator, either. According to Ek, musicians need to get with the times and keep up a steady stream of content: “There is a narrative fallacy here, combined with the fact that, obviously, some artists that used to do well in the past may not do well in this future landscape, where you can’t record music once every three to four years and think that’s going to be enough. The artists today that are making it realize that it’s about creating a continuous engagement with their fans. It is about putting the work in, about the storytelling around the album, and about keeping a continuous dialogue with your fans.” He concluded, “I feel, really, that the ones that aren’t doing well in streaming are predominantly people who want to release music the way it used to be released.” Jeeni is the newest offering in this, the fastest growing media sector. Created by Mel Coucher, a digital guru who wants the musicians and performers to take 100% of the money they earn - yes, you did read that correctly! Currently in the last 5 days of its 3rd crowd funding event, Jeeni smashed its £100k target in the first 6 days! Find out more at www.crowdcube.com/jeeni but you’ll need to be quick to invest, only 5 days left! If you’re an artist or performer, or just a follower of music who is wanting a better system, which offers everyone a service based on ethics, honesty and fairness then come and see how we do it, at www.jeeni.com Or, you can just stick with what you know and keep filling the pockets of billionaires? Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

22
Apr

INVITATION TO INVEST IN JEENI.COM

The online platform where creatives keep 100% of what they earn, and audiences are rewarded every step of the way. The Jeeni Additional Investment Period is now open to raise a further £100,000 via Instant Investment using the Seed Legals platform, with full EIS benefits. We have allocated this funding to extend our services in response to new market opportunities and conditions created by the pandemic. There has been an unprecedented demand from Jeeni members to provide bespoke user channels and direct marketing for online performances, goods and services. In addition, we are supporting our independent artists by matching them with music investors to finance studio time, video production, marketing and distribution of their original work, all as part of our Jeeni Pro service and social media systems. Due to the increased traffic, this is generating, we are migrating to the world-class AWS cloud platform. This £100,000 investment target is for 2.1% equity at the current pre-market valuation of £4.5million with a share price of £1.13p. Major strategic partnerships have been consolidated by our US Managing Director, Kelli Richards. Former A&R Executive at EMI Music, she was mentored by Steve Jobs at Apple, where she launched and managed their music and entertainment division, resulting in the birth of global music online now known as Apple Music. Kelli is VP of Business Development with our US partnersAmplifyX.com, where investors back music they believe in, and she is a consultant to our streaming service partnersMultiViewMedia.co.uk, where viewers take control of their own entertainment experience. Both companies have joined Jeeni to produce J.A.M. (Jeeni, AmplifyX, MultiView), our series of online festivals where Grammy Award-Winners share the stage with our own brand-new talent. Our most recent festival was live-streamed on April 10th, and brought in over 10,000 new fans for our artists. Catch up with the event at jeeni.com/jam-festival. We have three further announcements to make in this Investor Update. Firstly, in partnership with the Wings Tour Bus, artists voted most popular on Jeeni will appear on the Paul McCartney Stage when the most famous bus in the world goes on tour to mark the 50th anniversary of the original route. It has just been announced that the tour will follow a major publicity launch at the National Exhibition Centre in Birmingham UK this November. Secondly, we are pleased to announce that we have bypassed the global shortage of PC and laptop components, and the first range of Jeeni own-brand computers is on sale at jeeni.com/shop. And thirdly, we are proud to make this advance announcement that Jeeni has been selected for the world première of a major new opera set in contemporary New York. The subject matter is unique and the production is world-class. We will stream the event in partnership with MultiViewMedia and this marks a major milestone for our brand recognition. Investors will be given the opportunity to secure Virtual Green Room tickets and VIP access to the composer, the performers and the major celebrities behind the event, when the programme is officially announced next month. We are opening Jeeni to investors worldwide for the first time, and are happy to declare our track record and current status to anyone who cares to visit jeeni.com/invest-in-jeeni. Your investment can be processed in as little as 30 minutes in the following simple steps. 1. You tell us how much you want to invest. 2. We add your details to the Seed Legals system, which calculates the shares to be issued. 3. We email you the Investment Proposal, Instant Investment Agreement and bank details. 4. You sign and witness the Agreement and your investment is transferred. 5. We agree to a Board Resolution and Shareholders Resolution and send form SH01 to Companies House for the issue of your shares. 6. That’s it. If you are still interested in investing in Jeeni please let us know so that we can send you the appropriate investment documents.

23
Mar

Where Did All The Bands Go?

This month, Adam Levine of Maroon 5 caused a ripple when he was chatting to Apple Music's, Zane Lowe. Whilst referring to all the bands about in 2002 when they released their first album, he questioned, "where did all the bands go? I feel like they're a dying breed." After clarifying he meant bands, "in the pop limelight", it still managed to spark a mix of bemusement and outrage from some fellow artists. Maroon 5's Adam Levine - photo Mauricio Santana Though his remarks may have smarted somewhat, it can't be denied, he has a point! In the early 00's new bands were a dime a dozen, filling arenas and regularly collecting platinum discs. New TV talent shows such as Pop Idol and X Factor filled Saturday nights with girl groups and boy bands, but the trend is shifting. According to Dorian Lynskey in the Guardian, currently, there are nine groups in the UK Top 100 and only one in the Top 40. Two are the Killers and Fleetwood Mac, with songs 17 and 44 years old respectively, while the others are the last UK pop group standing (Little Mix), two four-man bands (Glass Animals, Kings of Leon), two dance groups (Rudimental, Clean Bandit) and two rap units (D-Block Europe, Bad Boy Chiller Crew). There are duos and trios, but made up of solo artists guesting with each other. In Spotify’s Top 50 most-played songs globally right now, there are only three groups (BTS, the Neighbourhood, and the Internet Money rap collective), and only six of the 42 artists on the latest Radio 1 playlist are bands: Wolf Alice, Haim, Royal Blood, Architects, London Grammar and the Snuts. Of course, radio and streaming are dominated by pop, rap and dance music but festival lineups don’t point to a golden age of bands, either. Of those that have emerged in the past decade, only half a dozen have headlined either Coachella, Reading/Leeds, Latitude, Download, Wireless or the main two stages at Glastonbury. That’s The 1975, Haim, alt-J, Rudimental, Bastille and Tame Impala, and the last of those is effectively a solo project. Only one band, the Lathums, appeared on the BBC’s annual tastemaking Sound of … longlist this year, which is not unusual: bands haven’t been in the majority since 2013. The album charts are still regularly topped by bands thanks to loyal fanbases who still buy physical formats – such as Mogwai, Architects and Kings of Leon in recent weeks – but not since 2016 has one hung on for a second week. So what happened? With even the largest, well known bands struggling to get into the Top 20 in the streaming world, could one theory be, solo artists are cheaper and easier to handle for the record labels? Apparently not, according to Dirty Hit label's, Jamie Osborne. His independent label is responsible for among others, Wolf Alice and The 1975, but he is still desperate to find the next band he can sign and develop. However, he's not finding it easy! The problem is, he says, there aren’t that many around. “It’s more likely now that a kid will make music in isolation because of technology. When I first met the 1975, they were all friends meeting in a room to make noise. So much is done in bedrooms these days, so you’re more likely to be by yourself.” The 1975 - photo Spotify Press Ben Mortimer, co-president of Polydor Records, says that cost is more of an issue for artists than for labels. “If you’re young and inspired to become a musician, you face a choice. If you go the band route, you need to find bandmates with a similar vision, you need expensive instruments and equipment, and you need to get out on the road to hone your craft. On the other hand, you could download Ableton [production software], shut your bedroom door and get creating straight away. Culture is shaped by technology.” So if the expenses are too high to even start a band, then rehearsal space and travel costs just add to the negatives. Does that mean bands and touring will only be for the rich, middle-class kids? “Social media has filled the hole, creating individual stars who are seen as more ‘authentic’ than anything the retro talent-show format could offer,” says Hannah Rose Ewens, author of Fangirls, a study of contemporary fandom. "Social media is built for individual self-expression. Platforms such as TikTok, Instagram and Twitter – and even the portrait orientation of a smartphone screen – give an advantage to single voices and faces while making group celebrity less legible. Hannah Rose Ewens with her book 'Fangirls' The challenge posed by all pop cultural trends is to work out whether or not it is a permanent structural shift or just another phase. The right group at the right time, whether it is the Strokes or the Spice Girls, can change everything. In the short term, the pandemic has made it impossible for new bands to form and threatens the survival of the regional venue circuit on which they depend, while Brexit has thrown up expensive new obstacles for touring bands. Yet Jamie Oborne remains optimistic. “I’m excited about the wave of creativity that’s going to follow this period that we’ve just lived through,” he says. “I feel this hankering in youth culture for real experience and connection. I’m still quite the romantic when it comes to music. Look at Fontaines DC. I see a picture of them and wish I was in a band. It’s the same thing as walking down the street with your friends and feeling like you’re part of something. Anything’s possible.”

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