I have a confession to make.

Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

I have a confession to make.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “Day 5 and we have reached 98% of our 100K target". If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his website www.melcroucher.net. Here's one of Mel's latest!

I have a confession to make. I have been pimping a young model, and I confess my shame. My pimping is the result of a moment of weakness. I’ve had models before, and I understand their capricious nature. One moment they are willing to perform across my desk, and the next they freeze and refuse to let me do what I want to do. But it has not been any fantasy performance that’s got me hooked, it has been the fantasy looks. I was bored. I wanted colour. I wanted make-up. I wanted dazzle and glitter. I wanted tribal tattoos, hot bubbles, glowing tubes and a whirling fan-dance. Forgive me, but I’ve pimped my computer.

In 1909, Henry Ford declared, “I will build a motor car for the great multitude. It will be constructed of the best materials, by the best men to be hired, after the best designs that modern engineering can devise. And no man making a good salary will be unable to own one.” He then added his famous line, “The customer can have his car painted any colour he wants as long as it’s black.” And so they were. Painted black. When I was young, cars were still mostly black, apart from the odd spot of lipstick around the exhaust pipes of those used in suicide pacts. As for computer manufacturers, they all followed Henry Ford’s marketing strategy for half a century. Except their colour of choice was not black, but the sort of beige favoured by dead maggots. The exception was the ZX Spectrum which was black, but the keyboard really was made of dead maggots. Apart from that aberration, beige was the colour. In fact the beige box came to be used as a term of derision for desktops, implying dated, boring specifications.

For example, IBM's early desktop computers were not only very beige indeed, but also very box-shaped indeed, and most PC clone manufacturers followed suit. As IBM and its imitators came to dominate the industry, beige boxes became the unquestioned norm for boring desktop computer design. Even early Apple Macs were beige boxes, until Apple took the revolutionary step in 1987 of switching to the even more boring shade of Chicken Poo By Moonlight. Not long after, equally boring videogame consoles took over the world, until there were so many revolting grey Nintendos and Segas and Playstations and Gameboys, that they had to be transported across deep space to be turned into landfill on distant moons. Meanwhile all Earthbound computers were still fifty shades of grey, until one day Apple changed everything.I remember the shock when their 1988 iMacs were launched. Suddenly we had a choice of computers that looked like see-through giant jellybabies, in a range of five neon colours called gangrene, monkeybum, impetigo, barbie and mince. And that was the end of the adult era in electronics, as a collective madness took over computer marketing. Now users are persuaded to buy machines not for what they do in the adult world, but for their infantile appearance. Users who are normally sane actually enjoy miniature coloured LEDs, winking and blinking through transparent windows like a pixie brothel. Tubes of bubbling, gaudy liquids snake their way through the computer’s guts like tapeworms on acid. Miniature spotlights illuminate cooling fans and heat-sinks from the inside out. These days a serious gamer will spend serious money on a serious PC, then corrupt the whole thing by spraying it with Plasti-Dip peelable, durable, non-slip, rubberised, multi-coloured spew. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have, but a bloke called Xephos made me do it. Let me explain further.

I have been influenced by the newly popular phenomenon of celebrity PCs, where people buy a particular machine simply because their heroes favour it, endorse it or actually commission it in their name. For example one of the world’s most popular videogaming channels on YouTube is called The Yogscast. Last time I counted, it had more than seven and a half million subscribers and over six billion views, and that’s a whole lot of purchasing power. Their founder, this bloke called Xephos, got a business partner of Jeeni to create “the ultimate Yogscast PC range to live stream and play games all day.” And as the factory os not far from me, I went over to mock. But I stayed to pray, and found myself mesmerised by the bloody thing. Bloody as in bejewelled with animated red illuminations inside the see-through casing. Which is how I joined this PC pimping revolution.And even non-gamers are at it. Most regular folk, who normally wear sensible shoes and don’t indulge in bear-baiting or country music, they too have joined the pimping revolution by expressing their personal proclivities via their mobile phones. In the beginning, all mobiles were universally Henry Ford black. Now even old age pensioners wave customised casings around, all lipstick colours, sparkles and cutesy-poo creature decorations. At least, that’s what mine’s like.

But I still suffer from a residual shame over my pimping habit, and like all instant gratification I feel guilty because of it. In fact while looking for a replacement machine recently, I have been quite attracted by one of those shapely models with a bit of sobriety, experience and bulk. And yes, before you ask, it’s black.

Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

BACK

06
Jun

My grandfather was killed by a rubbish truck.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “I admit we’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases. Then we can hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with all our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s one of Mel’s latest! One bright Autumn morning, my grandfather was killed by a rubbish truck. He got run over crossing the road on his regular walk to work. He was 84. And I am comforted to know that he loved his work as much as he loved his walk. As for me, I have yet to reach that ripe old age but I am still working most hours, most days. It's not so much that I love my work, more that I don't know what else to do. When I was younger, so much younger than today, I was promised a sci-fi world where all labour would be performed by robots, leaving us humans to enjoy a more meaningful existence. Before my grandfather was born, Karl Marx wrote that in a mechanised society workers would be freed from the monotony of work to “hunt in the morning, fish in the afternoon, criticise after dinner.” My grandfather certainly never saw such a sci-fi world or Marxist society, and I'm still waiting for it. But the way things are going I may not have to wait much longer for robots to take over the tedium of work. Judging by their behaviour, I suspect that most telemarketers, receptionists, estate agents and bar tenders were replaced by robots ages ago. And for drivers, machine operators and manual workers, it can only be only a matter of time. The first robot aircraft pilot took to the skies then navigated flawlessly and landed safely way back in 1947. Robots have been successfully conducting complex heart surgery since 2004. Artificial intelligence has already reached the cognitive power of a nine year-old human, in which case it is qualified to run for President of the USA in November. But do we really need political leaders to tell us how best to fill our waking hours? If we can develop all these technological wonders then we should be smart enough to work it out for ourselves. Our waking hours are dominated by work, whether we are in work or not. Strikers are depicted as troublemakers. Artists are depicted as idle. The poor are depicted as scroungers. The state cajoles the unemployed, the sick and the disabled to get off their arses and work. We are educated with the goal of work in mind, then having worked all our lives we are grudgingly handed back a mingy pension which we paid for in the first place. The idealised worker works in order to pay the childminder, the Deliveroo driver, the dog walker, the baker, the brewer, the app maker, because the idealised worker has no time left for such things. The idealised worker is too busy working to do any of these things for herself. For huge numbers of us the significance of the old certainties of community, religion, politics, and even family, have all fallen away to be replaced by work. For huge numbers of us work is how we give our lives meaning, while at the same time work has become more precarious, more impersonal, more stressful, and the app-driven gig economy is a perfect example of this. Yet everybody knows that automation is already capable of doing most manual jobs of work, and now artificial intelligence is predicted as achieving the capability of taking over most desk-bound jobs too. Since the pandemic, the entire framework of work is falling apart. But as a species we are not hardwired to work for a living. We never have been. We were lied to by those who said we must work, either to deserve a mythological afterlife, or protect an artificial realm, or for supposed honour, or someone else's glory, or for tokens of currency that can only be spent at the store owned by the company that issues those tokens in the first place. But of course all of those motivations are a con. And an obvious con at that. So here's the thing. Now we have cheap reliable technology, let's get all the robots to do as much of the muscle work as they can, and let's get all the artificial intelligences to do as much of the brain work as they can. Then let's redistribute the remaining working hours evenly to we the people, and in return pay ourselves some of that fabricated stuff called money so we can buy good food and decent shelter. By my reckoning six hours a day, three days a week will do nicely to pick up the slack left by the robots. Work needn't be useless. Work includes child-rearing, caring for the elderly and protecting the vulnerable. It also includes growing food, dreaming up new businesses and fixing the tap. And work includes creating music and dance and poetry and streaming it on Jeeni.com. It is self-evident that all valid work is worth the same valid reward. This is not a Marxist idea, or even a socialist proposal. It's the Tories who bang on about work being such a good thing and everyone pulling their weight, and I completely agree with them. Margaret Thatcher, that champion of work culture, said, “The heresies of one period become the orthodoxies of the next.” Yes indeedy, so bring on the robots and the electronic brains. If work is such a good thing then let everyone have a go for a few hours a week for a universal payment. And don't worry about how the payment is distributed, the accounts have all been reckoned by computers for years. Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

15
Oct

Jeeni Weekly Round-Up #1

Welcome to the first edition of our weekly round-up blog where we discuss the latest news in music, entertainment, and more. 16 Million Americans Learned to Play Guitar During the Pandemic, Fender Study Finds Guitar sales boomed during the pandemic in 2020, with Fender sales growing by 17%. It was clear more people were picking up the instrument during lockdowns. A new study from Fender has found that about 16 million Americans between the ages of 13 and 64 started learning to play the guitar during the last two years . The study was conducted between May and June 2021 by Fender and YouGov. With 62% citing COVID-19 and the associated lockdowns as a major motivator. 77% of those polled reported that they found themselves with additional free time during this period, which they used to play and practice. The “Fender’s New Guitar Player Analysis” study, analysed who new players were and how they took up the instrument. The major takeaways were that most new players are women, two-thirds of players are between the ages of 13 and 34, more than half of them use TikTok, and 38% of the new player identify as Latinx. Check out the Jeeni guitar channel to find a range of guitar-related content and tutorials. TikTok Adds Six Certified Sound Partners to Expand Commercial Music Library Music is an integral park of TikTok’s platform, with the power to spark global trends and even shoot artists to instant stardom. The platform has revealed six ‘certified Sound Partners’. According to TikTok in addition to its Commercial Music Library which includes over 150,000 pre-cleared, royalty-free tracks. This partnership will help expand the commercial music library in many surprising ways. Furthermore, TikTok has introduced a new series of parents with its marketing partner programme. Which will help brands make content with sound while also helping them better aline with key trends on the platform. Spotify’s New Music Friday Playlist Favors Indie Artists and Women, Study Finds Despite the challenges that independent label artists and women face in the music industry in a study published by the International Journal of Industrial Organisation concluded that independent artists and women are the top performers on the popular playlist New Music Friday, which is selected each week by publishers. Research conducted by the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota analyzed more than 5,700 songs on the playlist throughout 2017. The researchers sought to find if there was a bias towards any label, artist or genre. Despite predictions, they found that music released by an independent labels generally received a higher ranking. Resulting in an average boost of two spots on the New Music Friday playlist. Additionally, songs by female artists also benefited from a higher ranking on the playlist. However it’s important to note that this research only applies to the Spotify New Music Friday playlist. “For instance, streams for music by women account for about a quarter of total streams, a share that is low compared to the number of women listening, among musicians and in the population as a whole,” Said researchers. “Instead, the takeaway is New Music Friday does not compound the challenges these groups face in the music industry.” Recorded music revenue grew by 27% according to the RIAA mid-year report Recorded music revenue grew by 27% in the first 6 months of 2021 according to the RIAA mid-year report, versus the prior year, from $5.6 to $7.1 billion. Paid subscriptions continued to be the strongest contributor to growth. Comprising nearly two-thirds of total revenue, and more than 80 million paid subscriptions for the first time. Inspite of the effects of Covid-19 that have continued to affect the industry the music revenue is still growing. However year-over-year comparisons are significantlympacted by store closures, tour cancellations, and other disruptions from both 2020 and 2021. It's well known that artists rely heavily on live performance income. And the major streaming platforms revenue share is extremely unfair and continue to undervalue the artist. Jeeni is working hard to do the opposite, dedicated to boosting new talent and established artists alike. We reward them and their audiences ethically and fairly. Become a memeber today to find out how we can help promote you and how you can help creative talent alike. Make sure to follow jeeni on our social platforms to keep upadated on everything we are doing. In Jeeni News Jeeni is always finding new ways to support creative talent, currently we are searching for artists, musicans and performers to create dedicated showcases for. As well as looking for creative talent to interview for our Inside Stories. If you are interested please contact our artist liason ella@jeeni.com.

13
Dec

Christmas Auction Launched today with Emeli Sande, Beverley Knight, RAMZ, Christian Atsu, Mr Brainwash and more…..

Unique one to one zoom calls for Christmas with top Music Industry experts, artists and a footballer! And more! Arms Around The Child launch their unique online auction with Superstars which ends on Weds 16th December at 9pm. AUCTION LINK HERE! Grab a unique experience. Bid on an exclusive video performance that has been created especially for the winner of this auction by Emeli Sande. No one else will ever see or hear this recording except you! The Queen of British Soul Beverley Knight is offering a face to face Zoom for budding songwriters and performers trying to get their music heard and forge a career in the music Industry. Speak to Top A&R expert Nick Halkes on a face to face Zoom. Nick co-founded XL Recordings to discuss your musical aspirations and how best to move your career forward. RAMZ whose No1 single Barking made a huge impact is offering up his time to get on a face to face Zoom call with the winner to chat football and music, he’s an avid Arsenal fan! Top Producer/DJ SHADOWCHILD is offering a face to face Zoom mentoring session ideally for upcoming producers/DJs to learn and prepare for what lies ahead in the music industry. Premiership and International footballer Christian Atsu will have a one to one Zoom video session on football training and coaching tips for young players looking to improve their game. Stop Press! Exclusive Christian Louboutin Handbag just added! Additionally the auction offers the opportunity to bid on Mr Brainwash prints, Alan Shearer rare Top Trumps signature card, Elton John concert tickets for 2021, a striking and vibrant Giclée print of David Bowie a signed Maradona presentation plaque, exclusive wines, a Star Wars storyboard, weekend breaks and other experiences all wrapped up in this Arms Around The Childs Christmas Auction. All to benefit children look after by Arms Around The Child who are affected by HIV/AIDS, abandoned, abused, orphaned, trafficked and living in child headed households in Ghana, India and South Africa. Help us to help them. Images available please contact ellie@armsaroundthechild.org (07801292553) AUCTION LINK HERE!

Jeeni Blog