I have a confession to make.

Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

I have a confession to make.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “Day 5 and we have reached 98% of our 100K target". If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his website www.melcroucher.net. Here's one of Mel's latest!

I have a confession to make. I have been pimping a young model, and I confess my shame. My pimping is the result of a moment of weakness. I’ve had models before, and I understand their capricious nature. One moment they are willing to perform across my desk, and the next they freeze and refuse to let me do what I want to do. But it has not been any fantasy performance that’s got me hooked, it has been the fantasy looks. I was bored. I wanted colour. I wanted make-up. I wanted dazzle and glitter. I wanted tribal tattoos, hot bubbles, glowing tubes and a whirling fan-dance. Forgive me, but I’ve pimped my computer.

In 1909, Henry Ford declared, “I will build a motor car for the great multitude. It will be constructed of the best materials, by the best men to be hired, after the best designs that modern engineering can devise. And no man making a good salary will be unable to own one.” He then added his famous line, “The customer can have his car painted any colour he wants as long as it’s black.” And so they were. Painted black. When I was young, cars were still mostly black, apart from the odd spot of lipstick around the exhaust pipes of those used in suicide pacts. As for computer manufacturers, they all followed Henry Ford’s marketing strategy for half a century. Except their colour of choice was not black, but the sort of beige favoured by dead maggots. The exception was the ZX Spectrum which was black, but the keyboard really was made of dead maggots. Apart from that aberration, beige was the colour. In fact the beige box came to be used as a term of derision for desktops, implying dated, boring specifications.

For example, IBM's early desktop computers were not only very beige indeed, but also very box-shaped indeed, and most PC clone manufacturers followed suit. As IBM and its imitators came to dominate the industry, beige boxes became the unquestioned norm for boring desktop computer design. Even early Apple Macs were beige boxes, until Apple took the revolutionary step in 1987 of switching to the even more boring shade of Chicken Poo By Moonlight. Not long after, equally boring videogame consoles took over the world, until there were so many revolting grey Nintendos and Segas and Playstations and Gameboys, that they had to be transported across deep space to be turned into landfill on distant moons. Meanwhile all Earthbound computers were still fifty shades of grey, until one day Apple changed everything.I remember the shock when their 1988 iMacs were launched. Suddenly we had a choice of computers that looked like see-through giant jellybabies, in a range of five neon colours called gangrene, monkeybum, impetigo, barbie and mince. And that was the end of the adult era in electronics, as a collective madness took over computer marketing. Now users are persuaded to buy machines not for what they do in the adult world, but for their infantile appearance. Users who are normally sane actually enjoy miniature coloured LEDs, winking and blinking through transparent windows like a pixie brothel. Tubes of bubbling, gaudy liquids snake their way through the computer’s guts like tapeworms on acid. Miniature spotlights illuminate cooling fans and heat-sinks from the inside out. These days a serious gamer will spend serious money on a serious PC, then corrupt the whole thing by spraying it with Plasti-Dip peelable, durable, non-slip, rubberised, multi-coloured spew. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have, but a bloke called Xephos made me do it. Let me explain further.

I have been influenced by the newly popular phenomenon of celebrity PCs, where people buy a particular machine simply because their heroes favour it, endorse it or actually commission it in their name. For example one of the world’s most popular videogaming channels on YouTube is called The Yogscast. Last time I counted, it had more than seven and a half million subscribers and over six billion views, and that’s a whole lot of purchasing power. Their founder, this bloke called Xephos, got a business partner of Jeeni to create “the ultimate Yogscast PC range to live stream and play games all day.” And as the factory os not far from me, I went over to mock. But I stayed to pray, and found myself mesmerised by the bloody thing. Bloody as in bejewelled with animated red illuminations inside the see-through casing. Which is how I joined this PC pimping revolution.And even non-gamers are at it. Most regular folk, who normally wear sensible shoes and don’t indulge in bear-baiting or country music, they too have joined the pimping revolution by expressing their personal proclivities via their mobile phones. In the beginning, all mobiles were universally Henry Ford black. Now even old age pensioners wave customised casings around, all lipstick colours, sparkles and cutesy-poo creature decorations. At least, that’s what mine’s like.

But I still suffer from a residual shame over my pimping habit, and like all instant gratification I feel guilty because of it. In fact while looking for a replacement machine recently, I have been quite attracted by one of those shapely models with a bit of sobriety, experience and bulk. And yes, before you ask, it’s black.

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20
Jan

Ariana May, 'Suffolk Bay' Single Review

At just 16, Ariana May has reached a level of musical maturity that demands respect and attention. On Suffolk Bay, her vision is translated through her expressive piano playing and is then fully realised by her sweet, graceful vocals which glide as delicately as the accompanying strings. Ariana May has been an integral part part of Jeeni, from contributing unique and wonderful tracks to our pop channel, to being a part of our artist partnership programme with Daisy Chute. It seems as though our support has been well received too, according to some encouraging feedback from Ariana about her time with us, "I've felt so supported by Jeeni, it has been great to feel such a backing from a brilliant company!" Instead of just singing about an emotion-rich memory based in Suffolk Bay, Ariana opts to take you there instead. As well as providing atmospheric imagery, the audio of the waves creates a sort of organic alternative to a textured synth of filtered noise; the panning and treatment of which works perfectly to fill in the spatial gaps of the stripped back arrangement. Ariana’s vocal melodies are so delicate on this single that they sometimes flitter and almost evaporate before swooping back in and folding into the warmth of the reverbed piano. As light as her voice may sound, she doesn’t let that delicate element detract from any power or intended sentiment that it holds. The romantic imagery in the lyrics recounts a memory but can also be seen as a narration of the unfolding of the track itself, “When you felt the music go right through your bones”. The ethereal and spacey nature of Ariana’s high-register singing certainly does at times feel as though it cuts right through you. Lyrically, Ariana also references the mythical creature, sirens which mirrors an eerie and fantastical resemblance considering the nautical setting and Ariana’s enchanting vocal performance. Deceptively simple ‘Suffolk Bay’ actually has a lot to unpack, instrumentally. The theatrical piano takes precedence in the accompaniment and strings are used to tastefully embellish choice moments of the track. A sparing approach to the strings really lends to their effectiveness and impact; they cleverly swell and disappear periodically much like the waves do. Instead of flowing in long, held notes like Ariana’s voice, the piano chugs along in a steady, pulsing rhythm, creating a complimenting relationship between the two styles. This single came with an equally dramatic and stirring video which you can check out here: https://jeeni.com/suffolk-bay-by-ariana-may-2/ How can Jeeni support artists like Ariana May JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience. • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make. • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way. • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect. • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team. Check out Ariana's Showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/arianamay/

06
Jun

My Lockdown A-Z Happiness Manifesto – Why imagination, creativity and gratitude can be a cure for all.

By Sammie Venn Jeeni's Official Writer, Columnist and Blogger. Here at Jeeni.com we celebrate and support all musicians and performers, and poetry has its own dedicated channel for artists and performers to showcase their work and earn 100% of their sales, ticketing, merchandise and donations. Jeeni returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent and has already raised £93K, our target is £100K and we have 27 days to go, so we are likely to overfund, which is just amazing. Thanks again to all our wonderful investors. If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Today we showcase Sammie Venn as a very talented and creative writer. I have always been fascinated by the power of the human imagination: the capability of the brain and its capacity to unlock a unique world for every person on the planet. Our thoughts are as unique as fingerprints, so powering up the hippocampus to unravel the labyrinth of our minds can be even more challenging when we are physically isolated from those we love and care for. Lockdown has given us all time to think, sometimes overthink, and evaluate key priorities. These thoughts are often fear-based and at other times they are fuelled by excitement and possibility. At the beginning of COVID-19 I had a long list of ‘lockdown goals’ that I wanted to achieve. I thought I would be able to use the time efficiently to compartmentalise my life, throw some order at the chaos and come through the other side a more polished version of myself. Of course nothing ever goes according to plan. Therefore it felt like the right time to seize the day and further the knowledge and understanding of the human mind, body and soul. The relevance of which resonates even more after being catapulted into a matrix that can only described as something akin to Aldous Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’. Hermann Hesse, German-born Swiss poet, painter, novelist and writer wrote: “I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books. I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me.” His works explore how an individual searches for authenticity, spirituality and self-knowledge. Unsurprisingly, he won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1946 and has been a real influence when it comes to deciphering principles relating to what education means to me. Kindness, hand in hand with knowledge, is key in my happiness manifesto. September has always been my favourite time of year, a throwback to academia. However online courses in every arena conceivable have become the new normal. We have been unable to sit in classrooms or studios with our fellow peers, so zoom has become the portal for the education of the masses, including our children. The upside is that teaching has become readily accessible and certainly not restricted to certain times of the year. We can learn in the comfort of our own homes, in our pyjamas, with a cup of tea, glass of wine or even sat in the garden. However education is not just about studying for an end goal, its about embracing all that surrounds us, what our culture has to offer and the lessons that we can learn from that. Music teaches us how to express our emotions, whether that is through song writing, performing, dancing or just singing in the shower. We can develop our understanding of life’s twists and turns on a completely different level. The world of music teaches us not just about love, lust, happiness and passion but also about the bonds we have with our fellow human beings. It also lectures us on history, politics and sociology. Music is a platform that enhances our understanding of the world in a magical way, we remember song lyrics, we remember nursery rhymes, we remember the chants and hymns of our ancestors. We learn to come back to ourselves through the power of sound. My education in lockdown encompassed all these salient points. I reconnected on all levels with my hearts centre and created a lockdown happiness manifesto, which by and large I have managed to stick to. My A-Z goes something like this: Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

04
Feb

Zeeteah Massiah - ‘Wat A Ting’, Single Review.

Zeeteah Massiah’s 'Wat A Ting’ is a brilliant, tongue-in-cheek poke at misinformation and its relentless spreading, all the while being a dancehall banger in its own right. As an ambassador of Jeeni, Zeeteah Massiah is certainly something of a Jeeni royal. She has been a big part of the origins and early stages of Jeeni and her support is invaluable. Zeeteah Massiah is a Number One Billboard Dance Chart star who specialises in Reggae, Jazz and house music and has worked with the likes of Tom Jones, Sting and Robbie Williams. Now, she makes incredible music with her husband, Paul. The clarity of the production in ‘Wat A Ting’ is perfect. The off-beat pulse is so neat and perfectly edited and that’s with so much else going on; broken glass, rapid reggae drumrolls and several layers of backing vocals all fly over each other but this track never sounds messy or unintentional. The attention to detail in the mix for this single is exhaustive and thorough. That approach to production results in all sonic layers staying in their corner, but interacting with each other in total coherence and clarity. Everything in ‘Wat A Ting’ is tight, staccato and playful in its nature. It sounds like Zeeteah and her husband, Paul had so much fun with every layer of this track. As a counter-point to the short, abrupt timbre of the rest of this song, the pre-chorus is cleverly, much smoother with the addition of sweeping backing vocals and strummed guitar parts. This soft, calmer section is a great spot for the deceptively, reassuring lyrics “No need to fear now, what’s going on here now.” before the accepting chorus, “We've all gone crazy.” Zeeteah’s voice is pitch perfect and so adaptable; her singing is soft and caring for the pre-choruses but aptly manic and wild for the ‘Wat a ting, wat a ting!” choruses. The care and precision she carries in her voice could only be that of a seasoned professional vocalist. Although the track is undeniably fun, it addresses an incredibly important issue, “They told me there was COVID in the 5G, they told me the earth was flat.” Underneath the lively, mischievous tone of the track, 'Wat A Ting’ is an exasperated resignation to the persistent spread and sharing of false information as a result of fear and ignorance, “It’s all very clear now, we’ve all gone crazy.” Check out this fun and important track here: https://jeeni.com/wat-a-ting-zeeteah-massiah/ And check out Zeeteah’s Jeeni showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/zeeteah-massiah/ Album review How can Jeeni support artists like Zeeteah Massiah? JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience. • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make. • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way. • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect. • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.

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