Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Huawei to Hell

/ By
Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

BACK
Portsmouth-based music platform gears up

06
Jun

Portsmouth-based music platform gears up

Jeeni, the Portsmouth-based music tech start-up, has raised over £230,000 to support unsigned artists and performers achieve their dream.  Today, Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds and help the cause. Founding director Mel Croucher says, “We are ahead of our original schedule, yet there is still so much more to accomplish. We need to scale our online platform globally, build our mass artist showcases, and achieve our foreign language roll-out. Then we can hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Jeeni is launching their next generation platform online, with over 27,500 artists and performers subscribe to their database, and will start trading ahead of schedule. Along with Mel Croucher, who founded the UK leisure software industry, Jeeni was co-founded by Shena Mitchell, who has already raised over £20million for start-up businesses in the Solent area. They have created a formidable management team including Roger Watson, the record-label boss responsible for over 500 million record sales, Kelli Richards, who worked with Steve Jobs for over 10 years and launched Apple Music, Eddie Levy, the founder of ATV Music who owned The Beatles catalogue, and Danielle Woodyatt, former Head of Global Communications at Virgin. Jeeni is also supported by celebrity ambassadors, including John Altman, conductor of the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, Tony Klinger, producer for The Who, and Dee “Thunderbirds” Anderson. Jeeni’s Shena Mitchell urges Portsmouth-based businesses and investors to take a look at the campaign and support the development and global roll-out of Jeeni. She says: “We are raising £100k for 2.4% with our pre-money valuation at £4M. So if you want to support a Portsmouth-based tech start-up to harness the wealth of genuine unsigned talent, then get in touch.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Contact details: shena@jeeni.com

Read more
Profiiit ‘Alexander’ Album Review

26
Apr

Profiiit ‘Alexander’ Album Review

This indulgent and impressive album from East Coast rapper, Profiiit might be his most creatively realised and polished project yet.  Relatively new to Jeeni, Connecticut rapper, Profiiit has taken the hip-hop and rap channels to another level with his hard-hitting and thoughtful brand of introspective US rap music. He has recently contributed the entirety of this new album, ‘Alexander’ to his showcase. Check out his showcase on Jeeni here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/profiiit/  Throughout ‘Alexander’, Profiiit refuses to fall into the rut that so many rappers succumb to; repetitive beats, aimless song structures and uninspired lyrics. The way that Profiiit crafts these tracks, gives the impression that they’re important and demand your attention. Sometimes, Profiiit won’t feature his vocals until halfway through a track, because he’s not afraid to allow other components, features and instruments to shine and have their own moment before he contributes his poignant lyrics and flow to the pieces.  Possibly inspired by Kendrick Lamar, recorded spoken word samples heard throughout add an intimate and real level of substance and insight into Profiiit’s life and backstory. Something that makes a huge difference compared to other artists is Profiiit’s evident prowess in editing down tracks, trimming off fat and streamlining his work. The songs get to the point when necessary and take their time at other moments, depending on the tempo and momentum held in the album’s listen.  A tasteful and moving use of samples can be expected across this album, particularly in closers ‘Sodapop’ and ‘Red Baron’. Instead of just chopping up samples to construct the instrumental/beat and repeating sections over and over, samples are sometimes played unaccompanied for impact and as an effective means of progressing the tone and mood of the songs, this can be heard in ‘Yale (Josephine)’.  A perfect selection and amount of featured talent embellish ‘Alexander’ without distracting or diminishing from Profiiit. Peso Dollaz provides a melodic, trap-esque verse for the second half of ‘sant_thegod’ that does well do diversify both the track and the entire album. East London Jeeni artist Jada Freeman provides her soulful singing for some essential backing vocals and hooks in ‘Triggaotto’. And the talented and upcoming Cool Que gives a semi-sung mumble-rap verse on ‘D.R.E’ which is a fantastic contrast from Profiiit’s clear, and distinct rapping.  A fantastic and layered project from Profiiit, listen to it in full on Jeeni here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/profiiit/   How can Jeeni support artists like Profiiit?   JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.  • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team. 

Read more
Two Ways Home ‘Waiting on Luck’ Single Review

28
Apr

Two Ways Home ‘Waiting on Luck’ Single Review

This UK-based alt-country songwriting pair sets a new standard of warmth and bliss with their newest rock-tinged single, ‘Waiting on Luck’.  Two Ways Home consists of Lewis and Isi both contributing instrumental and vocal roles into the sweet, harmonious compositions that they write together. Having been a part of Jeeni for a while now, this wholesome, multi-genre duo has blessed many of Jeeni’s channels with their fun, easy-listening tunes including folk, country, rock and americana. Check out their showcase on Jeeni here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/two-ways-home/ Interestingly, this new single opens with a chorus; an increasingly rare structural choice. The section is heard stripped back, with just Lewis and Isi harmonising and a basic acoustic guitar accompanying them both. By displaying arguably, the most vital structural section of contemporary music first thing, it makes the listener instantly familiar with the chorus even if this is the first time that they’ve heard the track. That means that when the part is heard at full power, it is a total delight due to the listener subconsciously desperate to hear the part again. This decision can lead to a confusing and peculiar feeling in a song’s structure, however on ‘Waiting on Luck’, this device is heard at its most effective.  As is the typical way with country music, this single is exceptionally mixed and mastered, especially in regard to the layered vocals sitting in the mix with all other instruments so effortlessly. The singing from both members is so warm, and rich, thanks to the obvious synergy that they hold in their performative relationship. The introduction of some harder, more rock-styled sounds like distorted guitar and rolling, tom-heavy drum beats work perfectly with the country foundation that they laid down in the opening moments of this track.  Lewis and Isi’s understanding of song structures and musicianship holds their pieces together and really pushes their music to higher levels and this understanding is heard best in ‘Waiting on Luck’. Check out the new single from Two Ways Home’s showcase on Jeeni: https://jeeni.com/showcase/two-ways-home/ How can Jeeni support artists like Two Way Home?   JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.  • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team. 

Read more