Huawei to Hell

Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

BACK

07
Apr

Naëve on Music, Performing and Life during 2020

Having described herself as an outcast in life and the music world we ask Naëve what have been the key challenges and new opportunities and ventures that would have never otherwise have been possible. We asked her to tell us about her experiences over the last year whilst we count down to Jeeni’s online JAM festival. Naëve is a project born at the beginning of 2019 as a rebellion against all rules and constrictions that keeps us into our ‘tiny given little boxes’ since birth. As for the film ‘Big Fish’, my fishbowl started to feel a little too tight, I needed a bigger one for myself. Labelling and categorising everything, has always been something I refused to comply to since I remember. I’ve always been an outcast, in life and in the music I write and for this, I haven’t been always understood. Felt horrible for a while but, in time, I got that people use to fear what they do not understand, they fear change and what is new so, I made sure to be clearer and clearer for them in time. To my surprise, more and more people started to get closer. I decided to keep the influences and ditch the genres, even following an emotional and logical tie to every single one of the genres that I rework in my music. This brand new fusion sub-genre that I would call ‘Retro Groove’, is based pretty much on writing what comes to mind, binding the genres together and following simple melodic similarities. With what concerns lyrics writing, instrumentals is what inspires me. I believe that music in general, is an identification of feelings, emotions that often differ very distinctively from each other, other times, instead, they layer up so, when I write lyrics, I first listen carefully to the musical part, until it makes me feel something or leads right back to specific memories. Then I write about that. Because I never pretend to be the Diva that I am not, what you find in my songs is exactly what I would say to you if I ever meet you in person. No filters, no beating around the bush, pretty much "what you see (or hear) is what you get". I am at a point in my life that I genuinely don’t care about what others may think or if I say something in a way, I may offend someone. I’m living my freedom happily and this, I believe, is why I can write my songs in ways that have never been done before. I’m not the kind of person sugarcoating thoughts or happening, I try to make them feel sweeter and more bearable because, all in all, life is never like the cover of VOGUE. Also, more often than not, real heroes are the ones who are left unsung. I will sing and about them. I will celebrate them. Even before my first release, the project caught the attention of several labels. Despite lockdown restrictions, I have already signed a record deal with an international indie label, been proposed other two record deals and two publishing deals and received very much support from Blogs, pluggers, radios and so on. My fan base has started to grow steadily and I cannot be happier. For the ‘big sound’ you can hear in my songs, you might think that a whole orchestra or something of the sort has been recorded in it. Truth is, that I work together with an incredibly talented producer (and boy, oh boy if I am picky with producers) that manages everytime to get in my head and help developing the initial idea according to the inputs, lines and melodies I give to him. For that very reason, I thought to be a good idea to involve a basic big band, usually, because big bands are pretty big so, I needed to recreate that studio sound live but without exceeding the number of players on stage. We are 11. One of my unreleased songs has even got us into the Yamaha Boogie & Blues future stars competition finals, that was our very first live gig with this project, then the World shut down, exactly two days before the finals. That was scary, a new born project could have collapsed at any time. When a project is that new, without the chance of playing live shows, it becomes very difficult to grow a proper fanbase. ‘Joy’, my first single release, has been extremely risky to put out. The willingness for people to change is always extremely hard to achieve and I was very concerned about that. I’m saying this because ‘Joy’ is a Gospel song, a genre that has always mostly been kept within Church doors. I took a leap of faith and... It worked. Many brothers and sisters from Evangelic Communities around the World started to show their curiosity and support and it absolutely felt like winning the Euro Million!! The idea before ‘Joy’ was something between the lines: ‘Wow, Gospel music is such beautiful uplifting music of hope, let’s bring it to everyone. That was the reason behind this song. Thinking about it now, I feel very happy about how everything is progressing, mainly seeing how much interest people are having in my music. I decided to continue to write during the lockdown and between them, when was possible and safe to go recording, I decided to continue and work about the messages that I want to pass to my supporters and so ‘L.A.M.E.’ was born. Feminism is quite present in my work and more than ever is a concept, a way of life that needs to be supported today. Sometimes, I really believe that there has been a strong regression regarding how women are perceived in society and in the Music Industry. It seems, somehow, that very often women are seen as something that has to be used, not cherished. Thanks also to my upbringing (and to Madonna’s music), I understood that my value is decided by me, not everybody else and nevertheless by men (I don’t hate you, fellas, calm down) and that my life belongs to me and me only, I’m the only one who calls the shots end of story. So, L.A.M.E. was born after a date gone wrong. The kind of date that starts well and ends terribly wrong...you know the feeling. That ended wrong because sometimes, when people can’t get what they want, they can be incredibly mean and they aim to target your self-esteem attempting to decrease your value. I didn’t let him. I wrote a song about the whole story. It’s an empowering song, for all women who have ever felt ‘not enough in their relationships, psychologically manipulated by ‘supposedly’ their better half. Sometimes, people take advantage of our vulnerability to enforce their beliefs, it never ends well. The message that I would give is that you only know your value, don’t let anyone get to you, you are much more than that!! You can go out without makeup, without expensive clothes or cars, villas, a tan or a size 6 and a DD cup, because when you smile, all of a sudden the world stops. That is your strength as a woman and your beauty. You decide for your life, your happiness and yourself. Being very open-minded, I learned to know people at their true value and not the label been given to them and also, I can’t stand injustice of any kind. I want to channel this empowering message also to the LGBTQ+ Community. The reason behind that is that I have always been surrounded by friends from the Community and some of them are among my best friends ever so, indirectly, I lived their struggle through them on how people are perceived in society. Is embarrassing how, still in 2021, we cannot still be understanding enough to leave people the freedom to live a happy life while feeling comfortable and loved in their own skin. Then the idea for the video of L.A.M.E. was born. I’ve been lucky enough to cast two incredible actors from the Community that are very successful artists, then the idea to interchange roles and to show that there is not fear in beauty and that doesn’t matter what ‘form’ you get, your true beauty always shines. Another risky project, that bore the fruits I was hoping for and here we are. The video has been watched more than 6k times within 4 months time (thanks to this platform as well as Youtube and Vevo) and liked/voted more than 3k times so, really glad with the results. From the live side, during the lockdown, I had the opportunity to collaborate with Hot Vox in support of War Child UK and I was very honoured to be part of this crowdfunding campaign, as it helped to raise money for children and their families hit by war all over the World. I believe there will be more of these charity events for Naëve once it will be safe again to play live. The collaboration with Hot Vox continued with an online ‘Listening party’ that will be available to watch from the 21st of April from this link https://hotvox.co.uk/event/naeve-listening-party/ Plus a funny interview I did for them so, I believe is something you really want to watch. You know, when life gives you lemons..... I started to learn to play other instruments during the lockdown as well and I am quite a confident player now. Also, I will be shortly in the studio for my 3rd official release, so, I will be in ‘planning mode’ for a while plus, a brand new music video and after, the tour. The very first tour for Naëve since the project was born so, pretty excited and feeling blessed for what is coming. Naëve will also be performing in the JAM festival which is a collaboration between Jeeni, AmplifyX and MultiView Media and will be held at 12 noon Los Angeles time, 8pm London time on Saturday, April 10th 2021. To find out more about the JAM Festival check out our events on Facebook. https://fb.me/e/1etPauFMV

15
Dec

Artist Focus: Giack Bazz - A Royalty Revolutionary

In just five short years, Giack Bazz has crafted a spectrum of ideas and concepts with his discography that a lot artists don’t get around to in their lifetime. Although Giack has expanded his sound to stylistic corners that he even had to create himself, his sound has typically always been centred around alternative, experimental rock, inspired by the likes of David Bowie, Thom Yorke and Devendra Banhart. Giack studied songwriting at BIMM London where he honed his already present skills as a singer-songwriter. Jeeni is always on the lookout for exciting, new talent that deserves a wider outreach and so, BIMM alumni, Ella Venvell, Jeeni’s artist liaison specialist remembered Giack as a unique and layered act and introduced him to Jeeni’s mission. As well as working with BIMM students, Jeeni has recently become partners with ACM to be at the source of new talent and help to uplift them in their careers. Hailing from Modena, Italy, the london-based Giack Bazz began his musical journey in 2016 with the sentimental and heart-aching ‘Childhood Dream'. The stunning debut was a means of processing the wave of emotions that came with the passing of his mother when he was just nine. Giack was also lucky enough to be picked up by his region’s arts council to fund a grand rock opera based off the impressive debut. By kicking off his musical path with such a challenging and maturely profound project, Giack set up a powerful origin, with which he has used to launch into increasingly fascinating works, the likes of which I have never heard before. As a fairly straightforward 9-track project, ‘Childhood Dreams’ is so far the only vanilla tracklist in Giack’s discography. Giack went on in 2018 to make a long-redundant 2-disc split with his second album, ‘Giack Bazz Is Not Famous’. This album had a more light-hearted, yet angsty indie rock tone which featured more full band arrangements compared to his first. The disc openers, ‘Beetle’ and ‘Forgotten Media’ are certainly two focal points of the project. The year after came the Japan inspired ‘Haikufy’ which, despite containing 30 tracks, clocked in at under 20 minutes long. This project is the clearest first sign of Giacks experimental tendencies. Ranging from twinkling, dreamy moments to thrashing noise and yelling, the weird and wonderful ‘Haikufy’ still can’t help but feel cohesive as an experimental project due to clear vision and production. ‘Haikufy’ proved to be a vital stepping stone for Giack’s future as an artist and not just experimentally, as it was here where Giack first initiated his “personal protest against the unfair paying scheme of streaming platforms.” Giack explained to me that “streams are only paid after the first 31 seconds clock in, the rest of the song is worthless for streaming platforms.” And so, by releasing an album that has densely packed in tracks that meet the bare minimum length to gain royalties from streaming services, Giack exploits a system just as they do. It was this concept that gave birth to Giack’s most recent project which is a kind of sibling to ‘Haikufy’ except, instead of 30 short songs, last year’s ‘Impression A.I.’ contained 366 written, mixed and mastered songs in a 6.5-hour timeframe! Released under the name ‘The Royalty Instrumentality Project’ as a collaboration with partner and producer, Deborah Verrascina, ‘Impression A.I.’ is an inspiring and righteous protest against the unethical operations of streaming services, “By creating a vast album of short songs, we effectively use their system against them.” With concepts like this; born of passion, research and justice, Giack makes for such a formidable force in the music industry. With Deobrah’s production to polish Giack’s ambitious projects and equally in-depth, albeit sinister marketing campaigns from manager, Marta Teolato, the team of three are a force to be reckoned with when it comes to music royalty justice. Fortunately, the trio are currently planning a similar protest project, fulled by extensive collaboration. Watch this space. Giack is performing live at The Beehive, Empson Street on the 21st of January, tickets are available now: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-beehive-underground-sound-tickets-211275650157?aff=GiackBazz How can Jeeni support artists like Giack Bazz? JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience. • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make. • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way. • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect. • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team. Check out Giack’s Jeeni showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/giack-bazz

23
Feb

A Legendary NME Journo, his New Book and Other Tales

About to release his third book, a novel entitled 'The Unstable Boys', legendary NME journo Nick Kent, is interviewed by his stable-mate, Kevin EG Perry about his new book and other tales from his extraordinary career. The Unstable Boys - Nick Kent's new novel Nick Kent started writing for NME in 1972, which was a good year to be a rock’n’roll writer. And no writer in Britain was more rock’n’roll than Kent, who was soon as notorious for wearing a perpetually ripped pair of leather trousers and dating Chrissie Hynde as he was for writing novelistic profiles of enigmatic figures such as Syd Barrett and Lou Reed. Even now, almost half a century on, stories of Kent’s escapades and expenses-claims get passed down like lore at NME. There’s a good one about the time he flew to LA to profile Jethro Tull in 1975 and somehow wound up on a bender with Iggy Pop. Holed up in the Continental Hyatt House hotel on Sunset Boulevard, they hit upon the cunning wheeze of telling visiting drug dealers that they could help themselves to whatever they wanted from the luxury shops in the lobby and charge it to Kent’s room – leaving poor old Jethro Tull to pick up the tab. Truly, a grift for the ages. NIck Kent - Legendary NME Journalist Kent published the best of his collected rock writing in 1994 as The Dark Stuff and followed that essential tome in 2010 with his ‘70s memoir Apathy For The Devil. He’s just published his third book – his first novel – The Unstable Boys, which concerns the unhinged frontman of a mostly-forgotten ‘60s band appearing on the doorstop of his biggest fan after many years in obscurity. Over a video call from his home in Paris, Kent – 69 and just as louche as ever – discussed the book’s origins and held court about a life spent at the unforgiving coalface of rock’n’roll. On his no-fucks-given style Things weren’t looking good for NME when Kent first slouched through its doors in ‘72. Sales were so bad that the editors had been given just 12 issues to save the magazine. They hired Kent and other new writers such as Charles Shaar Murray and Ian MacDonald from the alternative press. The magazine then saw a huge jump in sales – but not for the reason Kent wanted to believe. “The assistant editor Nick Logan called me into his office at the end of the year and said, ‘Well, we’ve got great news – we’re outselling the Melody Maker’, which was a big deal at the time,’” remembers Kent. “He said: ‘In fact, we’re the biggest selling music weekly in the world!’ Pats on the back all round! I was standing there thinking he was gonna say: ‘It’s all you, Murray and MacDonald, you wonderful, beautiful people!’ “Not at all. He said: ‘We’ve done a survey of new readers to ask them why they buy the thing. They don’t buy it for the articles. They don’t read the articles, except for the quotes. They might look for a David Bowie quote, but they’re not interested in what the writers are writing. The only thing they actually read is the gossip column on the last page.’ What they really wanted to know was: What did Bowie’s latest haircut look like? And were Led Zeppelin playing a gig near where they lived? “After I picked my wounded ego up off the floor, I came to the very quick conclusion that I was writing for an audience with an extremely short attention span. I realised I had to go to extremes, because I would not be ignored! 300,000 people were buying the NME and the idiots weren’t reading it! That affected the way I wrote. You’ve got to grab them with the first sentence and say: ‘The action starts here’ you cannot not read this.’ I’m living proof that going to extremes gets results. The problem is that they may not be the exact results that you set out to attain.” Access all areas Kent went to extremes on the page and off it, where he found that the road of excess led not to the palace of wisdom but to a debilitating heroin addiction. His best work included an epic feature about the tortured genius of Brian Wilson, which ran to 10,000 words and was published across three issues of NME. He was also granted unprecedented access to a Rolling Stones tour and wrote memorably about the strange, distant atmosphere backstage and the darkness lurking in Jagger and Richards’ “numb, burned-out cool”. “There’s this whole idea that the writers of that time were the reason why the NME was so successful,” he says, “and that’s partly true, but the main reason was that we had more access back then to Bowie, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and the other big names of the ‘70s. There was a kind of give-and-take there, and I was lucky enough to get into that.” That time he was a Sex Pistol Kent first met punk impresario Malcolm McLaren in December 1973, when he went to France to interview the New York Dolls and found McLaren among their entourage. The pair became close and regularly dined together – along with their partners, Vivienne Westwood and Hynde – at what the writer describes “the only Indian restaurant in Clapham South”. When McLaren sacked guitarist Wally Nightingale from an early line-up of The Sex Pistols because he didn’t think he fit the band’s look, he asked Kent to replace him. Kent spent three months playing with guitarist Steve Jones and drummer Paul Cook, but says he never quite matched the Sex Pistol temperament. “What I learned from playing with The Sex Pistols was that there’s a big difference between a middle-class guitar player and a working-class guitar player,” says Kent. “For a working-class guitar player, it’s all about repetition. It’s like that Johnny Ramone thing of playing the same chords over and over again. If you’re a guy like me, I’ll play a three chord riff like ‘Louie Louie’ for a minute but then I’ll get bored and throw something a bit jazzy in, and immediately that’s like going into Radiohead-land! My Sex Pistols experience taught me that I’m a middle-class guitar player.” On the rocker who reminds him Trump Kent’s new novel The Unstable Boys centres around the titular band’s grotesque, narcissistic frontman, known as ‘The Boy’. Given his abrasive personality traits, it’s no surprise that The Boy idolises Donald Trump – and Kent says he noticed plenty of parallels between the former President and some of the more self-absorbed rock stars he’s encountered over the years. “The rock star that really reminded me of Trump is Axl Rose,” says Kent. “I went out to America in 1991 at the height of Guns N’ Roses mania. They were the biggest group in America at that time. At almost every gig they played there would be a riot. Axl would usually be late, and then he’d come on stage and spend 10 minutes putting down whatever celebrity had said something in the press about him. I saw him once put down Warren Beatty because Warren Beatty had dated his girlfriend. “We got 10 minutes of: ‘What an arsehole!’ He was using the stage as a forum for his own narcissistic shit fits, just like Trump. At least Axl Rose could perform and could sing well, whereas Trump has neither talent. He doesn’t have any talent! He’s the ultimate huckster.” And the horror story behind The Unstable Boys In The Unstable Boys, things take a turn for the worse when ‘The Boy’ turns up at the home of a wealthy crime writer who also happens to be his band’s biggest fan. Kent says he was inspired by a real tale involving the British rock’n’roller Vince Taylor, who sang the 1959 hit ‘Brand New Cadillac’. “He was one of the best early British rock singers – one of the only ones, actually,” says Kent. “He’s probably best-known now because he became the inspiration for Ziggy Stardust. Bowie had met him in the ‘60s and became fascinated by him. By the ‘70s, Taylor had gone from bad to worse and he was basically penniless. He would just turn up on the doorsteps of people that he imagined were fans of his. He turned up on the doorstep of his fan club president in Switzerland and of course the guy invited him in – this was his hero! Things didn’t go well. Before long his wife left him, his dog disappeared and his pub burnt down." Kent adds that he’s been working on the novel in some form or another since his wife Laurence first told him Taylor’s story back in 1990, so he’s delighted to finally see the story in print three decades on. “When I’d finished it, for about two or three hours afterwards I felt really, really good,” says Kent. “High in a way that eclipsed all the drug highs I’ve ever had.” – Nick Kent’s The Unstable Boys is out now via Constable www.jeeni.com www.nme.com

Jeeni Blog

Huawei to Hell

Naëve on Music, Performing and Life during 2020

Artist Focus: Giack Bazz - A Royalty Revolutionary

A Legendary NME Journo, his New Book and Other Tales

Please Login to Vote

Please Login to Add to My Playlist