Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Huawei to Hell

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Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

14
Jul

Ivy Eye – On My Mind - Single Review

Electronic duo, Ivy Eye makes a formidable case for the wellbeing of disco with their latest revival effort, ‘On My Mind’ In just a short period of electronic anthem creation, UK electronic act, Ivy Eye have steadily been building more and more traction with their disco revival endeavor. Joining the likes of Jessies Ware, Midnight Generation and Róisín Murphy, in the electronic rejuvenation of disco, Ivy Eye have an even more on-the-nose appreciation of the 70s club music. And ‘On My Mind’ is no exception. Consisting of Matthew Benham and Rory Sheppard, Ivy Eye continue to raise the bar of their dance/disco quality with their newest single. A swirling crescendo opens the track which is met with short, sharp strings, a four-to-the-floor kick-clap beat and a host of synth pads, all joined together as a glittery, shimmering entrance into this electric single. The introductory instrumental takes a rest as the vocals enter for the first verse. A restless synth bass bounces all over the simple, dependable dance beat as various guitar parts stab into the off-beats. Every component of Ivy Eye’s instrumental feels like it’s bursting with energy and personality, almost as though they’re all desperate to be a part of the fun. After a classic dance riser to elevate the impact and excitement, the first chorus erupts but only for a moment. Almost acting as a teaser for the true chorus, which the twosome still has up their sleeve. This half-chorus is a great way of whetting the listener’s appetite before the main course of funk-dance-disco. After another verse, the chorus enters in a similar way, except now, most of the instrumental leaves to let the vocals shine to begin with, a classic disco feature. Once the rest of the instruments join in with the celebration, Ivy Eye takes the brave step in picking up where Daft Punk left off with a little help from the vocoder. An iconic sound, made famous by the likes of Stevie Wonder, Peter Frampton and of course, Daft Punk, the vocoder (or similar device, talkbox) manipulates instruments with the help of the performer’s mouth to give the instrument a voice-like quality. This unique and undeniably funky effect is perfect for a song like ‘On My Mind’ The full chorus pay-off delivers in full as the track celebrates in the journey it’s had in the last three minutes. Hinting at the chorus earlier on the track instead of having two main choruses was a stroke of genius and really eases the listen of this disco banger. This perfectly produced track is a promising and exciting sign from an act like Ivy Eye who are so young in their path as artists. This single acts almost as a love letter to a whole group of styles and eras and Ivy Eye should be applauded for this celebratory triumph of a composition. Ivy Eye will be performing at Victorious festival this August (26th-28th) get your tickets now and check them out! How can Jeeni support artists like Ivy Eye?   JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.  • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team. 

20
Jan

Ariana May, 'Suffolk Bay' Single Review

At just 16, Ariana May has reached a level of musical maturity that demands respect and attention. On Suffolk Bay, her vision is translated through her expressive piano playing and is then fully realised by her sweet, graceful vocals which glide as delicately as the accompanying strings.  Ariana May has been an integral part part of Jeeni, from contributing unique and wonderful tracks to our pop channel, to being a part of our artist partnership programme with Daisy Chute. It seems as though our support has been well received too, according to some encouraging feedback from Ariana about her time with us, "I've felt so supported by Jeeni, it has been great to feel such a backing from a brilliant company!" Instead of just singing about an emotion-rich memory based in Suffolk Bay, Ariana opts to take you there instead. As well as providing atmospheric imagery, the audio of the waves creates a sort of organic alternative to a textured synth of filtered noise; the panning and treatment of which works perfectly to fill in the spatial gaps of the stripped back arrangement.  Ariana’s vocal melodies are so delicate on this single that they sometimes flitter and almost evaporate before swooping back in and folding into the warmth of the reverbed piano. As light as her voice may sound, she doesn’t let that delicate element detract from any power or intended sentiment that it holds.  The romantic imagery in the lyrics recounts a memory but can also be seen as a narration of the unfolding of the track itself, “When you felt the music go right through your bones”. The ethereal and spacey nature of Ariana’s high-register singing certainly does at times feel as though it cuts right through you. Lyrically, Ariana also references the mythical creature, sirens which mirrors an eerie and fantastical resemblance considering the nautical setting and Ariana’s enchanting vocal performance.  Deceptively simple ‘Suffolk Bay’ actually has a lot to unpack, instrumentally. The theatrical piano takes precedence in the accompaniment and strings are used to tastefully embellish choice moments of the track. A sparing approach to the strings really lends to their effectiveness and impact; they cleverly swell and disappear periodically much like the waves do. Instead of flowing in long, held notes like Ariana’s voice, the piano chugs along in a steady, pulsing rhythm, creating a complimenting relationship between the two styles.  This single came with an equally dramatic and stirring video which you can check out here: https://jeeni.com/suffolk-bay-by-ariana-may-2/  How can Jeeni support artists like Ariana May JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.   • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.  Check out Ariana's Showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/arianamay/

21
Dec

Welcome to Our Annual Round-Up of The Jeeni Project for 2021.

The pandemic has had a devastating effect on independent musicians and performers who are the core subscribers to the Jeeni platform. 83% of our professionals have been unable to find regular work, 33% of our artists have not earned a penny since restrictions were lifted earlier this year, and 20% say they will give up the struggle for recognition permanently. In support of our existing membership, we agreed to suspend paid subscriptions during the lockdown and may do so again in light of the current situation. Our Generation-4 platform was released on schedule, and our Generation-5 platform is scheduled for release on Amazon Web Services in the second quarter of 2022. This year, our pre-market valuation increased by 12.5% to £4.5million. Our awards and grant funding increased to £245,540 since launch and our investment funding increased to £513,734 since launch. The number of members in our musicians and artists community increased to 9,979, of which 5,424 are often active and 4,555 are continually active. The number of artist showcases on Jeeni increased to 2,492 with a global audience outreach to 3,430,790 fans. Team Jeeni increased to 15 core members. We launched our popular channel of Inside Story celebrity interviews, alongside Artist-of-the-Day and weekly News Roundups. Our most recent Jeeni Festival was enjoyed by 27,489 viewers, of which 7,739 were live-stream, plus another 19,750 on catch-up. Our world première of the jazz opera Spring Street topped 67,000 viewers, and for the first time, we achieved 10,000 visits to the Jeeni platform in one hour. Four of our strategic partners have become prominent for mutually beneficial marketing and support: BIMM - Europe’s largest music institute, Gradfuel - with over 10,000 graduates on their books, SeedLegals - the UK’s Number One growth hub, and Chillblast - the UK’s most awarded PC manufacturer. Stay safe and well, The Jeeni team.