Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Huawei to Hell

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Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

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Inside Story with Keithian

11
Jun

Inside Story with Keithian

Kethian is a Singer, Songwriter, Musician, Actor and Producer based in the US and who performed his song ‘Communicate’ in the JAM Festival collaboration in April.  Kethian is relaxing in his Californian back yard as the interview with Kate takes place. “You recorded your track ‘Communicate’ live from your home studio for the JAM Festival, we have all faced the technical difficulties of working from home over the last year, but did you face any whilst recording?” she asks.  He says that there were not any technical issues as such but recording at home always presents some issues, for example the neighbour had the lawnmower on but luckily, he didn’t think we could hear.  His song ‘Communicate’ is beautiful and very emotive. When asked about his inspiration for writing it, he said that it came from his friend, who so sadly committed suicide, and so the song was an open letter to this friend, as well as anyone else that is struggling and needs to communicate as it is one of those things that “you actually have to do to feel better or to get your thoughts out, so that’s exactly what that song was about.” Kethian was born in New Orleans into a “showbizzy family.” Kate asks about what influence their work had on him as a child growing up and how it inspired his music and career.  He grew up in Louisiana and Texas, “New Orleans is just full of music, everywhere you go”, his parents were in music as well as his grandparents so making music for him was something that “just happened, I’ve never known any different.” Kethian was previously signed to a major record label, but has ended up going independent, Kate asks why he made this decision  “It wasn’t really the best experience. I figured if I went independent, I could give myself the better experience, and control creativity and stuff like that, and now that I’m my own everything, I’m able to understand myself more as an artist, what I need, what I want, how I want to promote, or what songs I want to choose” he shouts excitedly. In 2018 Kethian was working on music for Rhianna, he said “it was one of those things that just happened, although she hasn’t actually released the music yet and I wish I had some insider knowledge as to when she will, but I don’t! Basically, after I left the label, I was a writer and producer...I was writing for various artists and one of them said ‘this is gonna be for Rhianna’ and I was like ‘what?!’ and that’s how it happened. I met the [person] that I work with now and produce most of my music with currently and it has just been cohesive since then.” Kethian is currently raising investment for his next project: “It makes me feel really good as an artist when someone invests in me because it means that they believe in me as an artist, and as an art, a lot of our motivation and motivators are to make people happy and just to feel something or have an outlet, so to be supported in this way makes me feel so much more confident.” In response to this comment, Kate explains what Jeeni is: a platform for new and upcoming artists which seeks to support them in the best way possible and asks Kethian what his advice would be for aspiring artists that are just starting out. “Simply be the best artist that you can be and be the most you can be in life for you. It’s one of those things…being an artist is so giving, you walk around with your art, you are your art, and so when someone says something a little different or a little insane, it touches you more…just be confident, stay close to your art and stay close to you as a person and just love every bit of it.” What can we expect from him in the future?  He expresses his excitement in regard to doing more shows with Jeeni and is hopeful for the future of live shows and touring as the world returns to normality after the Covid-19 pandemic.  He says that he ultimately wants to “put out as much music as my fans want me to and as much as I want.” Through AmplifyX, one of our collaborators from the JAM festival, Kethian is working on his new EP called Green Clouds which is due at the end of May and you can invest now. To find out more about Kethian, listen to his music and invest, please visit https://jeeni.com/showcase/keithian/

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Jeeni proudly announces that Sammie Venn has joined Team Jeeni as Official Writer, Columnist and Blogger.

03
Mar

Jeeni proudly announces that Sammie Venn has joined Team Jeeni as Official Writer, Columnist and Blogger.

Sammie is an award-winning entrepreneur, a writer, columnist and blogger. We caught up with Sammie this afternoon and she told us about her Soul Warrior journey. "I began the Soul Warrior path after writing a series of poems based on my journey of self-discovery. Some were just late-night musings, others more conscious truths, but in essence they encompass the search for the strength that lies within ourselves. I love developing memorable stories and experiences through the emotional connection of words and images, and find writing a wonderful way to capture those inspiring moments and joyful experiences life has to offer. Preferring wild spaces that feel spirited and untamed, I’ve always aimed to be part of nature’s green army. I grew up in the countryside and have finally wound my way back home after decades of living in a densely populated city and feeling almost a stranger to the natural environment. Mindful of the future, we are providing for our children and generations to come, I have strived to turn my business “Soul Warriors” into an eco-friendly company: one that has an holistic approach to life, embracing support, learning, growth and inspiration by taking an alternative path to a traditional business plan. The “Business Garden” needs to be planted, nourished, weeded and watered, given air to breathe, sunshine to blossom and have roots strong enough to endure adversity. I believe that nature, love and adventure connect the mind, body and soul, the balance of each dependent on the other. Soul Warriors nurtures trust on both a personal and professional level, where positive and transparent ethics are key to its success. The vision embodies joyful soulful-entrepreneurship where positivity and emotional clarity are as important as the bottom line. I began making jewellery years ago and have loved the mindful dedication it takes to develop a bespoke product. Each collection is based on the poetry and stories I write and the collection of ethical treasures have been described as modern-day heirlooms that people can cherish, share and adore. Having been in the retail industry for over 25 years and winning the Business Woman of Excellence Award 2019 in Sussex, I endeavour to work with other award-winning partners who embody fair trade and eco-friendly standards, like Jeeni. In September 2019 I was invited to be part of Gok Wan’s Dream 8 retailers for his UK roadshow, a fun and vibrant event that has led to some interesting collaborations. From the moment I learnt to put pen to paper as a child, writing became a passion. My Grandmother was also a writer, I have many fond memories of typing her work on a battered Olivetti in her drawing room. My Grandfather was an accomplished saxophonist, so music has always been an central part of my life from a young age. My writing journey has been an integral part of my emotional well-being: it’s freeing, mindful and allows me to explore unique, exuberant and imaginative worlds. Storytelling is the skeleton of all my work, both in product development and the poetry, articles and blogs I write. My work has been published in the US literary journal The Starlight Emporium, which explores wonder-filled ideas relating to art, music, travel, storytelling, and all manner of things creative. I am also taking on the role of columnist with Town and County magazine, later this year. Blogging for Soulful Life Club, a company I founded with my business partner Sharron Goodyear 18 months ago, has been a springboard for my work, in creating a wellness community for women. Now my entrepreneurial journey has found a new niche." Welcome on board Sammie we are very excited to be working with you and know you will be a great asset to Team Jeeni. If you would like to find out more about Sammie please check out her website: www.soulwarriors.co.uk. Sammie Venn Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

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Mel's bedtime story

10
Jun

Mel's bedtime story

Once upon a time, I created a platform called jeeni.com which is where independent artists perform their music in front of new fans, and get rewarded for their efforts. On a Saturday night we ran a live global music festival featuring 18 acts from both sides of the Atlantic. The oldest performer was over 70, the youngest was under 10. They were brilliant, each in their own way. We broadcast over social media and websites. There were no adverts, there were no fakes, there was no hype. It didn't cost us a penny to run. Everyone had a ball. We are part of a revolutionary process that is killing a corrupt and rotting music industry which has held both audience and performer to ransom since the 1890s. So if you will indulge me, I'd like to tell you how, and why ... I'm an old hoarder, I hoard old music recordings, and when I say old I mean really old. Upstairs, in what was once a studio but has turned into an Irish Setter leisure lounge, there are several hundred wax cylinders from the 1890s. Each cylinder is a unique recording from an age before duplication was possible. If Miss Florrie Forde wanted to sell a hundred copies of Hold Your Hand Out You Naughty Boy to her adoring public, then she had to keep lubricated and trill the bloody thing into a brass horn a hundred times and record it onto wax in real time. But to me the beauty of these cylinders is not that each one is a unique recording, but that each one is mercifully short, rotating at 120 revolutions a minute and lasting a meagre two minutes, because that's all a wax cylinder can hold. And so the two minute pop single was born. At the start of the twentieth century discs replaced cylinders, but not a lot changed. I have another room full of shellac discs that spin at 78 revolutions a minute. When it came to pop singles from artists bringing joy to the world throughout the first half of the twentieth century, they had just under three minutes to do it in. And if they were any good, just under three minutes was plenty. I feel personally to blame for what happened next, because in the hour of my birth in 1948, the microgroove vinyl disc hit the market, spinning at what my Irish chums call dirty tree and a turd revolutions per minute. I have an entire wall of vinyl albums, with their glorious covers and sleeve notes. And yes, they are arranged in alphabetical order by artist and date-order of release. Their storage capacity is approximately twenty-five minutes a side, which is usually twenty-two minutes too long. And on the opposite wall is where all my CDs sulk, each one capable of storing seventy-four minutes of audio, and not one of them played since the turn of this century. Why? Because a hacker called SoloH went and ripped the source code of something called the Fraunhofer MP3 encoder and spread it all over the internet for free. Thanks to SoloH, I can not only digitise my entire collection of recorded music without any restrictions on playing time, I can access the entire library of everything that has ever been recorded, for ever. My phone weighs exactly the same as my 78rpm copy of Little Richard's single Tutti Frutti, which runs for two minutes 28 seconds of total perfection. My phone holds 21,417 tracks in MP3 format, some of them complete symphonies, which are pretty good, some of them prog-rock drum solos, as used by Viet Cong torturers to break the spirit of the enemy. My desktop hard drive and cloud-accounts contain too many tracks to keep track of. I declare that my motivation for amassing this ludicrous collection of music was that one day it would bring me comfort in my old age, when my body and brain become enfeebled and I feel the need to keep hold of past pleasures while dying. As it turns out, I started playing my collection early, during lockdown, and wished I was dead by the end of day three. The singles were great, but the albums were mostly insufferable. Which is when I realised that the music album is stone dead, and the nightmare of a lifetime of audio padding is finally over. Then the real truth hit me. The recorded music industry is dead too. Thanks to COVID19 there has been an explosion of new creativity. Everyone is now a record producer, anyone can run a broadcast music channel, and that's exactly what everyone and anyone seems to be doing, including me. The spongers and leeches and shysters have been exposed as completely unnecessary, as have most of the agents, publicists and managers. They are no longer able to milk performers in our new world of social distancing, because they have lost their power. It's the remote audience that now has the power, and this audience wants instant gratification, not a load of overhyped, overwrought, overlong, flimflam. Jeeni.com is my final project in a very long career. I'm giving my artists three minutes per track to nail it, because that's what my old hoard tells me is right. And I hope you agree that in order to shine, three minutes is all that anyone should ever need.

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