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Huawei to Hell

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Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

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Weekly Round-Up #4

12
Nov

Weekly Round-Up #4

The latest news on all things Jeeni, music and entertainment news. The ongoing impact of Covid-19 on musicians Like many other sectors, the music industry has been hit hard by coronavirus with live performance revenue the biggest casualty. During the lockdown, the cancellation and postponement of most live music has had a catastrophic impact on the entire industry. In addition to a reduction in physical sales from the closure of retail stores. There has even been a negative impact on synch opportunities due to less production of visual content. And while streaming revenue has increased, it is not a sustainable source of income due to unfair revenue shares. According to National statistics even before the pandemic, a musician earned on average £23,059, well below the national average of £29,832, according to the Office for National Statistics. A report by UK Music predicted that musicians will have lost 65% of their income this year, rising to 80% for those most dependent on live performance and studio work. Frances O’Grady TUC General Secretary sent a strong message of solidarity and support to Musician Union members at the 39th Musicians’ Union Delegate Conference. Highlighting the effects of Covid-19 on musicians. “The pandemic has been a huge challenge to working people and musicians have been on its economic frontline, unable to work due to lockdown restrictions” she said.“Too often this government left the self-employed high and dry. Now ministers must step up to give arts, culture, entertainment, and festivals the support we urgently need”. Jeeni is ahead of the government in supporting musicians, the platform hosts a range of creative talent supporting them to grow an audience. On Jeeni, artists and creatives keep 100% of everything they earn, and thousands of performers are already on board, with an audience outreach that has grown to over two million. Check out what we do at Jeeni and how we support independent creative talent YouTubes ads business is now bigger than the entire global record business According to revenue figures released last week from YouTube Parent company Alphabet, YouTube generated $7.205 billion in revenues from advertising in Q3 this year. Up 43%, or by over $2 billion, year-on-year versus the same quarter of 2020. The $7.205 billion figure did not include additional revenues from subscriptions which YouTube just announced it has surpassed 50 million global subscribers to YouTube Music and YouTube Premium. Meaning that the video streaming giant now has a bigger ads business than the entire global record business. New artists face ‘massive competition’ from established acts due to streaming New artists face massive competition from major established acts such as Queen and the Beatles due to the advent of streaming according to The Culture Committee. Peter Leathem, chief executive from the music copyright collective Phonographic Performance Ltd, told MPs that even the most talented performers were “struggling” to make a living from their music in part due to the competition they face for plays and revenue. “They are faced with massive competition. If you look at 2019, the best-selling albums were Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, based on the film, and Abbey Road by the Beatles, on its 50-year anniversary. If you are trying to break a new artist or trying to get your own streaming going you have got the last 50 years of the music industry to compete with.” With lots of streaming taking place, the value of the market is much less and there is so much competition. Up-and-coming artists are also competing for a share of a “smaller pie”. He added, “If you are trying to break a new artist or trying to get your own streaming going you have got the last 50 years of the music industry to compete with." MPs are continuing to examine what economic impact music streaming is having on artists, record labels and the sustainability of the wider industry. It's clear that the music industry needs more support in terms of the value gap and allowing the spotlight to be on new artists. This is exactly what Jeeni are doing, by supporting independent artists. Jeeni is a platform that brings together creative talents and allows them to showcase their work to a wider audience. All while keeping 100% of everything they earn, and thousands of artists are already on board, with an audience outreach that has grown to over two million. Be sure to visit Jeeni and discover how we help independent artists rise above the limitations of major streaming services at Jeeni.com Jeeni News Artist Pairing Initiative We had our very first artist pairing meeting hosted by Jeeni’s Ella Venvell. The artist pairing is a new initiative by Jeeni where we pair up artists of a similar genre, one with more experience and the other a fledgling artist. The more experienced artist is able able to give advice and words of wisdom. While both artists can encourage and inspire each other by sharing their individual experiences. Our first meeting with Daisy Chute and Ariana May was a huge success. Daisy shared her experiences of being signed to a major label before becoming an independent self-sufficient artist, expressing the benefits and downfalls to both. Furthermore advising Ariana on the best ways to promote her music through a variety of avenues and the different revenue streams available. If you are an artist interested in Jeeni's pairing initiative then be sure to contact our Artist Liaison Ella Venvell at ella@jeeni.com, including info about yourself and why would like to be part of the artist pairing initiative. Pick Of The Week Our pick of the week is Glasgow based alt-rock band Respite. The band blends elements of punk, post-hardcore and pop music, with lyrics and vocals heavily inspired by pop-punk and emo. Respite released their first single, “Chemical Sleep” on the 3rd of October. Soon after following with their debut EP “Vol. 1” on the 29th of October which features five original tracks, and is available to stream everywhere right now! Check out Respite's showcase on Jeeni - Respite | Showcase | JEENI New Music Friday In our New Music Friday segment, Daisy Chute has been selected with the release of her EP Songs of Solace on Friday 12th November. A collection of six original songs which tells a story ‘through the beginning, middle and end of a relationship. Songs of Solace is available on all streaming platforms. Check out Daisy Chutes showcase on Jeeni - Daisy Chute | Showcase | JEENI Jeeni and Chillblast Partnership Jeeni has partnered with Chillblast to bring customers exclusive branded PCs designed for musicians and creatives. Chillblast is the UK’s Most Awarded PC Manufacturer. Find out more about Chillblast here, and discover why Jeeni has partnered with Chillblast to bring Special Edition music PCs with exclusive Jeeni branding. As well as a year's subscription to the Jeeni Platform with each order worth £85. Chillblast Jeeni PCs are perfect for all musicians and creatives, whether you're an independent bedroom pop artist or a music producer working on the next number 1 one single. Get the best deal on music PCs with our black Friday 2021 offer. Buy your Jeeni Music PC built and warrantied by the UK’s most awarded PC manufacturer here Jeeni PCs (chillblast.com)

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The Creator of Jeeni.

03
Sep

The Creator of Jeeni.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “I admit we're ahead of our original schedule, but there's still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases. Then we can hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” It is day 5 today and we have raised 98% of our target £100K. If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here's one of Mel's latest! There was once a little Quaker boy called Charlton, who got sent off to a nice school in Oxfordshire. Charlton liked videogames very much indeed, and when he turned thirteen he became a fan of one particular game which was called Deus Ex Machina. It was hopelessly life-affirming and it allowed him to influence the plotline and outcome, just like a load of similar games. But it was also the first truly interactive movie, running in real time, with voice actors and a full music soundtrack. It came with a large monochrome poster of the face of a beautiful, innocent, yet alluring lady robot, which the boy hung on his wall. And that thought pleases me, because I was the creator of the game, and my intention was to blow the minds of children just like Charlton. Ten years later, he was no longer a Quaker schoolboy but a stroppy atheist, and he was making a living writing very naughty cartoon strips and highly scurrilous columns for a computer magazine called PC Zone. I hope his career choice was influenced by the naughty cartoon strips and scurrilous columns I was writing for the rival magazines he devoured, but I suspect he already considered me to be an old fart. Back then I believed it was my mission to take the piss out of anyone and everyone in the computer industry, and so did young Charlton. He was calling himself Charlie by then. Charlie Brooker. Today, Charlie Brooker is probably best known as the creator of the Netflix phenomenon Black Mirror. In a brilliant episode, he didn’t just nick my idea of an interactive movie where players influence the plotline and outcome, he went and did it for real. He set his episode in 1984, which was the year of my game’s release, and he hung my old poster on the wall for a touch of authenticity. And yes, he did ask permission. And yes, I was more than happy to give it to him. And no, he didn’t pay me. Brooker’s use of the branching narrative was absolutely seamless, and when the viewer-player-actor makes a choice via a mouse or remote control there is absolutely no buffering involved. And just like in my old game, if the viewer-player-actor refuses to make a choice, then the movie-game-stage makes it for them. In the future, I am sure this technique will become an active tool of the porn and ultra-violence industries, but consumers of mainstream entertainment have become more and more bone idle over the years. In fact vast numbers can’t even be bothered to select the crap entertainment they watch or play, but allow algorithms to select for them. So no, this is not the future of movies, it’s the past. Charlie Brooker didn’t predict this, and neither did I. It was predicted by Ray Bradbury in his 1953 novel Fahrenheit 451, where books have been banned because they encourage people to think, and the 1966 film of that story was one of my greatest influences. In the movie, the writer/director François Truffaut introduces us to a world in which the masses consume pap via personal screens, and believe they have choice in determining the outcome of all sorts of vacuous plotlines. They don’t, of course, and the purpose of such so-called entertainments is to pretend the people have a say in the way things are run, what choices they have, and what garbage they believe in. And here we are, more than half a century later, living in just such a society. And we don’t even need movies to condition the masses, we can use videogames. People who live-stream their gameplay are called streamers. People who watch them playing are called lost souls. Today more people watch streamers play sports simulations than watch live sport. This passive practice is ridiculously popular on streaming sites like Twitch, YouTube and a whole host of others. Even back in 2014, Twitch streams for computer games attracted more traffic than America’s leading cable and satellite network HBO, with professional streamers mashing up high-level play and banal commentary. Now they can extort big money from sponsors, subscriptions, and donations. Last year, passive viewers watched active players for more than 450 billion minutes of streamed content on Twitch alone, as the streamers jiggled and babbled while playing with themselves at FIFA 19, Monster Hunter World and all the rest. One such streamer is a charming young man called Richard Tyler Blevins, who sports attractive neon-tinted hair and goes by the name of Ninja. He has minted around ten million dollars from subscribers who pay to watch him play a game called Fortnight. Let me just make that clear – they are not paying to play Fortnite themselves, they are paying to watch Mr Ninja play. Fortnite involves a hundred players at a time who fight and butcher one other to the death until only one is left alive, all in high-definition video. There are currently 200 million players of the game. The youngest players are aged eight, which should worry their parents, but probably doesn’t because mom and pop are too busy passively watching some other streamer. The average age of a Fortnite player is 13, which is the same age as the schoolboy Charlie Brooker was when my hopelessly life-affirming game helped turn him into a potty-mouthed cynic. At least I know I succeeded in something. Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

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Would You Sell Your Song Catalogue?

12
Mar

Would You Sell Your Song Catalogue?

Today, we hear another mega-star has sold their song catalogue. This time Neil Young has agreed a deal and sold 50% of the rights to his entire back catalogue. Hipgnosis Song Fund purchased 1,180 songs by the Canadian musician in a deal that is said to be worth an estimated $150 million (£110 million), according to the BBC. Neil Young - Photo: Getty The Young acquisition comes after the company acquired the rights to 100% of  former Fleetwood Mac singer Lindsay Buckingham‘s back catalogue and 50% of his future work this week, as well as Jimmy Iovine’s worldwide producer royalties. “This is a deal that changes Hipgnosis forever,” Hipgnosis founder Merck Mercuriadis said of the Young deal. Hipgnosis are known for turning royalties into a steady income stream – with the firm making money every time one of its songs is played on the radio or featured in a film/TV show. Other recent acquisitions by Hipgnosis include catalogues by the likes of Blondie, L.A. Reid, RZA and The-Dream. The company also purchased a publishing portfolio from Kobalt in September. The sale included songs by Fleetwood Mac, 50 Cent, Beyoncé and many others. The Neil Young sale seems to be part of the growing trend of artists cashing in on their lifetimes work. Bob Dylan was reported in December 2020 as selling to Universal Music. According to the New York Times, the music icon has sold his back catalogue for an eye-watering $300 million (£225 million), giving Universal the ownership of over 600 songs spanning a period of almost six decades. Bob Dylan - Photo: Getty While the deal means that Universal now control one of the most celebrated back catalogues in history, Dylan is also listed as the principal songwriter on the vast majority of efforts – which means Universal does not have to share future revenues with any other songwriters. In the same month, Stevie Nicks agreed a deal with Primary Wave for $100million, giving them 80% of her back catalogue which includes her 70's hit 'Dreams' just as it is making a Billboard comeback after going viral in the TikTok video of skateboarder Nathan Apodaca drinking Ocean Spray juice. To make these kinds of figures, you have to have a catalogue which will give the buyer a payback, but with younger bands such as The Killers doing the same, is this the best way for songwriters, singers and bands to create certain income? With the poor payouts from the online streaming platforms, it makes good business sense, but only for those able to create enough desired material. For those new and emerging creative stars, companies like www.jeeni.com and Patreon have been created to redress the balance, so revenue generated goes to the creators, not the suits and pen-pushers, meaning artists of the future will possibly be able to afford to create back catalogues and continue to benefit from them.

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