Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Huawei to Hell

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Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

28
Jan

Weekly Round-Up #8

The latest developments and additions to Jeeni's mission! Rock-star Eden James joins Jeeni!   New York based Eden James has joined Jeeni’s ranks of global stars. “I like what you do and I would love to help,” Eden says. "I was fortunate to have musicians from Bruce Springsteen's, Paul Simon's and David Bowie's bands contribute to my studio recordings. The last 6 months have been a huge success for me, winning 25 music and video awards around the globe, and receiving a slew of reviews and interviews from some of the biggest music magazines out there, including Classic Rock magazine and American Songwriter magazine.” We’ll be bringing you exclusives from this Number One chart topper right here, meanwhile check out his Jeeni showcase at https://jeeni.com/showcase/edenjames/  New Content Contributed to Jeeni’s Database of Talent!  Fresh, new music has been poured into Jeen’s diverse collection of artistry and talent. The aforementioned Eden James has provided a vintage and classic collection of tracks for our ever-growing rock channel, including ‘New York’ and ‘Black Book’.   The industry legend, Lennox Campbell also contributed some of the stellar RnB and soul tracks that he’s produced such as ‘Beautifull’ and ‘Lost One’s’.   Another exciting new addition to Jeeni is the UK chill-rap artist, Cassius Gray. Achieving over 2 million streams across his discography, Cassius has achieved so much already and we can’t wait so promote him further. Check out tracks like ‘From Here On Out’ and ‘Flight 22’ on Jeeni, now.  Featuring members with connections to Elton John and Hanz Zimmer, ‘Coolstar’ is an epic collaboration of all sorts of artists and have offered the tracks ‘Homeland’ and ‘I Keep Walkin.’ to Jeen’s database.  Brand new music from Daisy Chute and I K 8OY has also been added to Jeeni today, on the same day as their releases. Check out Daisy’s ‘Cradle Songs’ and I K 8OY’s ‘Let You Know’.  New Jeeni Blogs Published! In anticipation for Maple Sky’s new single, ‘Vision’, set to be released next Saturday, we prepared an ‘Artist Focus’ blog for the smooth jazz quartet, “Maple Sky specialise in a broad and flexible portrayal of jazz with influences from Esperanza Spalding, Yebba, and D’angelo.”  We’ve also been reviewing and praising the stunning work of our artists. Beginning with Glaswegian rock band, Respite’s first EP, ‘Vol.1’, “This five-track project is a triumphant and proud announcement of a new advancement in their style, synergy and musicianship.”   We also had two single reviews, for Arianna May’s ‘Suffolk Bay’ and Baby Panna’s ‘Golden’. On Suffolk Bay, Arianna May’s “vision is translated through her expressive piano playing and is then fully realised by her sweet, graceful vocals which glide as delicately as the accompanying strings.”. Baby Panna’s ‘Golden’ is an impactful final track for his debut mixtape, “The instrumental landscape set for this frank and passionate narrative is an atmospheric and soulful wave of spaced-out beats and crackly samples.”  Jeeni also featured its first live review of Giack Bazz’s incredible set from last Friday (21st, January), “Considering the arsenal of instruments Giack typically uses to convey his vision, the emotive power that he communicated with just his voice, a guitar and a pedal board was astonishing.”  We loved attending Giack’s gig in East-London and we’d love to see our artists perform more often.   Reach out to the Jeeni marketing team at doug@jeeni.com or ella@jeeni.com.  Make sure you're following us on social media to keep up to date with new releases from our artists, our blogs and any job openings.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeenimusic/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeenimusic   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeenimusic   Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/33222018/admin/ 

30
Nov

Discover New Talent with Jeeni

Jeeni’s prime goal is to bring attention to artists that deserve it and luckily for you, Jeeni is crawling with them. Jeeni has over 100 channels of styles, genres and artforms for you to explore and archive for your enjoyment. Anyone and everyone can create and share playlists from all of the channels that we offer and it’s absolutely free to sign up.  Jeeni’s artist liaison team is always on the lookout for emerging talent to add to the marvelous melting pot that is Jeeni. Become fanbase pioneers of fresh, electrifying and original artists looking to share their craft with the world.   As you surf the seemingly endless library of talent on Jeeni, you can be assured that the artists you explore and enjoy are a part of an entirely ethical and supportive platform that lets artists keep 100% of profits made and have complete control over their creative property.  Finding talent on Jeeni couldn’t be easier, simply choose a channel that interests you, from ambient, to death-metal, to slam poetry and begin unearthing Jeeni artists and their craft.  If this progressive and exciting mission of promoting artists and helping them gain a worldwide fanbase interests you, we’re currently hiring so that Jeeni can expand its reach and effectiveness.   We are currently offering the roles of Sales Executive and Senior Developer as a part of the governmental Kickstart scheme and these roles are for those between 16-24 and on Universal Credit.  We are also offering a sales internship for university students trying to get experience during their education.  For more information, visit: https://uk.indeed.com/jobs?q=jeeni&l&vjk=a9b44f31a3321877  We look forward to hearing from you! 

16
Feb

Big Frank & MazeyJune - ‘Sun Outside’ Single Review

This chilled out hip-hop callback from Big Frank beckons the summer with the help of MazeyJune’s soulful voice.  London based chillhop producer, Big Frank releases his first single since his brilliant ‘Phases of Nature’ album from 2017. Another new Jeeni artist, Big Frank’s resurgence on the scene is certainly one to watch and Jeeni can’t wait to build up our soul, hip-hop and RnB channels with his upcomming tracks.   His 2017 album fully showcased Frank’s understanding, appreciation and prowess in instrumental hip-hop. Although some of the best producers often release unaccompanied beat tapes and projects such as Madlib and the late J Dilla, it seems now that Big Frank is looking to collaborate, beginning with the up-and-coming MazeyJune.  ‘Sun Outside’ sees Frank with his staple effortlessly serene and well-rounded beats accompanying MazeyJune’s free-flowing, enchanting melodies. Frank does well to leave plenty of room for Mazey to shine with scaling vocalisations and expressive passages of lyrics. The steady strums of a nylon-stringed guitar bounce around and reverberate across all other parts of the instrumental and it creates an almost eerily large space in which the single sits. This, along with nearly unplaceable background notes and drones provide a strong sense of atmosphere for this short, yet promising single.  MazeyJune’s voice is fluid, dark and velvety smooth. Occasionally, her soulful and wavering vocal tone is reminiscent of Celeste and other times, she steps low and deep like the legendary Nina Simone; an adaptable and impressive voice from MazeyJune.  Considering how well ‘Sun Outside’ turned out, let’s hope that this single means that more is coming from both Big Frank and MazeyJune. Check out the brand-new single here: https://jeeni.com/sun-outside-mazeyjune-and-big-frank/ And check out Big Frank's showcase on Jeeni here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/bigfrank/ How can Jeeni support artists like Big Frank?   JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.  album review album review album review • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.