Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Huawei to Hell

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Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

01
Feb

Maple Sky, ‘Vision’ Single Review

The already multi-faceted smooth jazz outfit, Maple Sky broaden their sound once more with this explosive, brand-new funk banger, named ‘Vision’.   Maple Sky have been a key component of Jeeni’s jazz channel (https://jeeni.com/channel/all-channels/jazz/) since last September and after a few different iterations, it seems that the group have found their most effective formula of members and mindsets.   Maple Sky have evolved. Their sweet lounge jazz tracks have their place and are performed and written superbly however, the control and dare I say, vision contained in this piece is so far, unparalleled in their work. Each instrument expresses individuality and flows with different breathes and personalities, yet they still exist solely in the context of each other and act as a part of a dynamic and expressive synergy.   Maple Sky told Jeeni that drummer, Ed Jordan handles the production of the group’s latest work and he’s done a fantastic job handling all of the energy that Joel, Olivia, Christian and of course, himself brings to this track. Ed gives more space to the instruments via natural-feeling reverb which creates physical dimensions and atmosphere to the funky soundtrack. Keyboardist, Joel Bamigboye also has a hand in production and produced the entirety of the group’s self-titled EP from 2020. The group’s consistent musicianship has meant that this change-up of producers has so far not created any kind of conflict or contradictions in their tone and sound.  Following ‘Free Her’, their new EP, set to be released later this year is shaping up to be their strongest yet.  ‘Vision’ is set to be released on Saturday, the 5th of February.  Follow Maple Sky on socials:  Twitter: https://twitter.com/mapleskyband   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MapleSkyBand/   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mapleskyband/   Check out Maple Sky’s showcase on Jeeni here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/maple-sky/   How can Jeeni support artists like Maple Sky?   JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.   • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team. 

12
Mar

Visa-Free EU Travel Petition for Performers and Bands

Finally, a deal has been agreed with the EU and on 1 January 2021, the UK is going it alone. However, one vital element of the economy seems to have been left out of the agreed terms - Musicians. A petition for visa-free travel or 'Musicians Passport' for this huge part of the the population is gaining enthusiastic momentum via social media and at the point of writing, is well about 155,000 signatures, growing by approximately 1,000 every 1/4 of an hour. Several industries have been granted visa-free access to the 27 EU states in the final agreement. Despite the government being lobbied by a number of industry heavyweights and artists, their concerns the new rules could jeopardise the £5.8billion music industry, when live gigs and shows are back on the social spectrum, have not seen visa-free travel for musicians addressed. Touring Europe, bands and artists may need secure visas for each country they plan to perform in, making it far more costly and harder to afford for many artists and crew members. The Visa-Free petition’s creator Tim Brennan added: “As a freelancer, I and many like me, travel through the EU countless times a year on different tours and events, this will become impossible due to cost and time if we do not have visa free travel.” The petition reads: “We would like the UK Govt to negotiate a free cultural work permit that gives us visa-free travel throughout the 27 EU states for music touring professionals, bands, musicians, artists, TV and sports celebrities that tour the EU to perform shows and events & Carnet exception [allowing the temporary import or export of goods without having to pay duty or VAT] for touring equipment,” You can sign the petition here: https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/563294 At the time of the lobbying, a government spokesperson told NME: “We are working closely with the arts and culture sector to prepare for the end of the transition period and recognise the importance of touring for UK musicians. We are seeking a reciprocal agreement with the EU to allow UK citizens to undertake some business activities in the bloc without a work permit, on a short-term basis.” Last week (December 25), UK Music's chief exec. Jamie Njoku-Goodwin welcomed the government's EU deal, but said it still left “many questions” unanswered for the music industry. Jamie Njoku-Goodwin - Chief Executive of Music UK Njoku-Goodwin is one of the Government’s most senior advisers with unrivalled political connections across Downing Street, Whitehall and Westminster. He was a special adviser to Health Secretary Matt Hancock and also worked as a special adviser at the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport. Once the petition reaches 100,000 signatures, it may be considered for debate in Parliament. Industry eyes will be looking straight at Njoku-Goodwin to be the man to have the debate converted in to action. We will posts any updates as we get them.

04
Jul

Alice Milburn - ‘Not Yours’ Single Review

Alice Milburn continues to perfect her innovative blend of glossy jazz chords with empowering upbeat pop with the new and improved version of 2019’s ‘Not Yours’.  Alice has only just begun to expand on a variety of Jeeni’s channels, including but not limited to: jazz, pop, indie and lounge. Fresh, new talent is what powers Jeeni and with artists such as Alice, Jeeni couldn’t wish for much better fuel for our mission of uplifting and supporting unrepresented artists. Check out Alice’s young and expanding showcase on Jeeni here. On this redesign of ‘Not Yours’, Alice displays her flexible and adaptable comprehension of musicality clearer than ever. The willingness to broaden both the understanding of jazz and pop whilst also incorporating rock elements without resulting in a confusing mess of a composition is an absolute feat. Alice’s attitude to music is totally refreshing and it’s more often the attitude and approach to creation that separates the greats from the rest, not just superb musicianship.  Immediately, this re-telling of Alice’s popular 2019 single holds more atmosphere and impact than its predecessor. The guitar cuts through so much cleaner thanks to less muddy settings on both the amp and after effects during the mixing process. And this fresher, more attentive approach isn’t limited to just the guitar parts; the bass guides the harmony much more seamlessly, the drums snap harder and as a result of these perfected parts, Alice’s soulful, impassioned vocals sit in this new arrangement so much nicer. Her voice is never drowned out, overshadowed or squashed, although the guitar solo certainly takes its fair portion of the limelight, and rightly so.  Another key improvement can be found in the addition of the horn parts. Tasteful trumpets can be heard reinforcing the chords in the choruses and do so well to glimmer and shine up the composition’s instrumentation. The key difference between the 2019 version and the new 2022 version is the brightness and rejuvenation in the tone of the track and not much brightens up a mix as well as horns. A live performance where the horn parts get their own moment to solo and shine would surely be breathtaking.  It could possibly be argued that a song about a romantic betrayal shouldn’t be so bright and that maybe the first, slightly darker version is more apt for heartbreak, however this song is more empowering than it is hopeless. The title itself, ‘Not Yours’ is a triumphant announcement that Alice can’t be owned or manipulated, especially not anymore.  It’s not always easy to perhaps acknowledge that a previously released track could be realised and finished in a more polished way, however Alice is the type of artist to take that brave step in improving her sound and raising the standard of her craft up another notch. Check out more of Alice Milburn’s fantastic work here.