Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Huawei to Hell

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Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

05
Jun

So what else is the Music Industry doing?

The Musicians Union offer of a £200 grant really is not going to cut it and with most musicians and performers self employed we urgently need the government to provide clarity on what wider support is available. In yesterday's Guardian, Ben Beaumont-Thomas reported that: "On Friday, the Federation of Entertainment Unions, which comprises the Musicians’ Union, the Bectu section of Prospect, Equity, the National Union of Journalists and the Writers’ Guild of Great Britain, called for the government “to introduce an income guarantee for freelance and self-employed workers for the duration of the Covid-19 outbreak.A separate petition to the UK government, asking for economic assistance for those working in the events industry, has been signed by nearly 150,000 people. A huge number of tours and music festivals have already been cancelled because of coronavirus, including Glastonbury and Coachella. Many musicians have started performing via online livestreams, including – as part of the World Health Organisation and Global Citizen initiative Together at Home – Chris Martin, John Legend and Camila Cabello. Other stars have pledged financial support for relief initiatives – Rihanna’s Clara Lionel Foundation donated $5m (£4.2m) to various organisations, while Ciara and her husband, Russell Wilson, donated a million meals to a food bank in their home city of Seattle. The US Recording Academy – which organises the Grammys – announced a relief fund for musicians affected by coronavirus via its charity arm, MusiCares." Let's keep Rocking 'n' Rolling Folks. It is time for positive action!

12
Mar

Rock & Roll Hall of Fame - 2021 Nominations

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame - Cleveland, Ohio USA The nominees are out and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2021 is as eclectic and diverse as ever. The list includes 16 extremely talented acts, with 7 receiving their first nomination. @rockhall made the announcement earlier today and invited fans to join in and vote for their favourites, to get them into this Cathedral of Legends. https://twitter.com/rockhall/status/1359489797056696325 The nominations are announced To qualify for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, all nominees have to have released their first commercial recording at least 25 years before their first nomination. The nominations list for the Hall of Fame begins with Mary J. Blige, whose first album 'What's the 411' was released in 1992. This year's Hall of Fame contains seven first-time nominees. Pioneer of the Afrobeat, Fela Kuti, who passed away in 1997, released his first work 'Fela, Fela, Fela' in 1969. The Go-Go's, who formed in 1978 and released their first album, 'Beauty and the Beat' in 1981. Jay-Z began his hugely successful life in the music industry in the mid '90's and is now regarded as one of the most influential artists in Hip-Hop history. His first album 'Reasonable Doubt' hit the charts in 1996. Heavy metal legends Iron Maiden, having been around since the mid '70's with over 40 albums to their discography, have also received their first nomination. Three of the first-timers already appear in the Hall of Fame, though in different guises. Carole King has been nominated for the Hall of Fame 2021, but was inducted in 1990 with David Goffin for her songwriting talents. Tina Turner, was inducted in 1991 but with partner Ike Turner. This is her first solo nomination. The Foo Fighters also make their first appearance. However, Dave Grohl already has a place after being inducted in 2014 as part of the band, Nirvana. The remaining artists in the nominations are, Chaka Khan, LL Cool J, New York Dolls, Rage Against the Machine, Todd Rundgren and Dionne Warwick. https://twitter.com/foofighters/status/1359497561275392006 Foo Fighters receive their first nomination The nominees for 2021 will be announced in May, with the winners being decided by a combination of a voting body, of more than 1,000 artists, historians and music industry members plus the fan vote via the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’s website.

26
Jan

Baby Panna, ‘Golden’ - Single Review

The final track from Baby Panna’s debut mixtape, ‘Vibes and Energies’ leaves the project with an honest and powerful impression that’s not easy to forget. The track tackles issues of race that are fuelled from real-life experiences and personal struggles.   Baby Panna has been an essential component of Jeeni and its hip-hop and rap channels since last Summer. He performed and was interviewed as a part of last year’s Victorious festival and has been an incredibly important and keen artist for Jeeni’s mission.  The instrumental landscape set for this frank and passionate narrative is an atmospheric and soulful wave of spaced-out beats and crackly samples. The warm, vintage fuzz of the sample, which opens the track, lays out a wistful, lo-fi vibe, reminiscent of old-school hip-hop. The beat leaves room for Panna to say what he needs to, to conclude his impactful and polished mixtape. A reverbed clave ripples through the sample and the rumbling sub bass as an understated percussive snare keeps the pace.  Panna reflects on his blessed life as a comparison to his ancestors who lived through even more difficult and blatant times of discrimination and struggle, “The lifestyle that I live is golden”. The emotion carried in the lyrics almost conveys a sense of guilt and mixed emotions with his happiness when contrasted with the struggle embedded in his ancestry. However, in actuality, it's more likely that he’s reflecting on how lucky he is and that he should cherish his success, “I’ve got to make the most of this shit”.  The clarity and focus of Panna’s vocals play a huge role in carrying the intention and emotion on this track. Where other rappers mumble and obscure their lyrics behind a sleepy and dull delivery, Baby Panna does not once miss an opportunity to express himself on ’Golden’.   Check out the video for Baby Panna’s ‘Golden’ here: https://jeeni.com/baby-panna-golden/ Check out Baby Panna’s showcase on Jeeni, here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/babypanna/ How can Jeeni support artists like Baby Panna?   JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.   • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.