Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Huawei to Hell

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Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

20
Jan

Ariana May, 'Suffolk Bay' Single Review

At just 16, Ariana May has reached a level of musical maturity that demands respect and attention. On Suffolk Bay, her vision is translated through her expressive piano playing and is then fully realised by her sweet, graceful vocals which glide as delicately as the accompanying strings.  Ariana May has been an integral part part of Jeeni, from contributing unique and wonderful tracks to our pop channel, to being a part of our artist partnership programme with Daisy Chute. It seems as though our support has been well received too, according to some encouraging feedback from Ariana about her time with us, "I've felt so supported by Jeeni, it has been great to feel such a backing from a brilliant company!" Instead of just singing about an emotion-rich memory based in Suffolk Bay, Ariana opts to take you there instead. As well as providing atmospheric imagery, the audio of the waves creates a sort of organic alternative to a textured synth of filtered noise; the panning and treatment of which works perfectly to fill in the spatial gaps of the stripped back arrangement.  Ariana’s vocal melodies are so delicate on this single that they sometimes flitter and almost evaporate before swooping back in and folding into the warmth of the reverbed piano. As light as her voice may sound, she doesn’t let that delicate element detract from any power or intended sentiment that it holds.  The romantic imagery in the lyrics recounts a memory but can also be seen as a narration of the unfolding of the track itself, “When you felt the music go right through your bones”. The ethereal and spacey nature of Ariana’s high-register singing certainly does at times feel as though it cuts right through you. Lyrically, Ariana also references the mythical creature, sirens which mirrors an eerie and fantastical resemblance considering the nautical setting and Ariana’s enchanting vocal performance.  Deceptively simple ‘Suffolk Bay’ actually has a lot to unpack, instrumentally. The theatrical piano takes precedence in the accompaniment and strings are used to tastefully embellish choice moments of the track. A sparing approach to the strings really lends to their effectiveness and impact; they cleverly swell and disappear periodically much like the waves do. Instead of flowing in long, held notes like Ariana’s voice, the piano chugs along in a steady, pulsing rhythm, creating a complimenting relationship between the two styles.  This single came with an equally dramatic and stirring video which you can check out here: https://jeeni.com/suffolk-bay-by-ariana-may-2/  How can Jeeni support artists like Ariana May JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.   • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.  Check out Ariana's Showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/arianamay/

05
Jun

How to Stay Sane While Sheltering in Place

by Kelli Richards, Jeeni MD USA Many of us have been going a little stir crazy after several weeks of sheltering in place. But given it’s likely we’ll be in this situation for quite a while longer, it’s to our benefit to find ways to retain our sanity during these challenging times. Here are a few ideas to share that I’ve found have been working for me. Stick with a schedule and routine — what worked for you when things were ‘normal’? Keep doing those things now. For me, it includes getting up early, exercising, meditating, good nutrition, getting outdoors every day, sticking with my work routines (work bursts, scheduling calls and Zoom video chats), stretching, staying hydrated, and getting plenty of sleep. I’m getting an extra hour daily now to boost my immune system — and of course the additional rest has all kinds of extra benefits for your mind and body as well. Reading daily is also an anchor for me, so it’s paramount (at least for me) that I make time for that. Make time to connect with friends, family, colleagues and loved ones. Make sure you balance your time between work and play/rest. Move your body daily, however that works for you. Take time to make nutritious meals for yourself and keep your house clean and tidy. Watch something funny, educational, or inspiring on TV if it moves you. Minimize your exposure to news — limit your intake to maybe 2x/day. Listen to great music throughout the day. Have fresh flowers around and get your nature intake daily. Those are some of my tips — I’d love to know what some of yours are that are helping you in these times. Be sure to leave a comment! Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

05
Jun

Exploring the Rivalry and Respect between Paul McCartney and Brian Wilson

by Kelli Richards, Jeeni MD USA Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com A guy named Jeffrey Stillwell has put together a great video essay focused on the so-called “rivalry” between the Beach Boys and the Beatles; and in particular the relationship between Paul McCartney and Brian Wilson. They were most certainly inspired by each other creatively and each wound up bringing out the best in each other as both are quick to confess. When “Pet Sounds” came out, it blew the minds of the Beatles, and that was a big catalyst to what would become “Sgt Pepper” in terms of musical experimentation — both are still such iconic albums that it’s hard to believe it’s been 50 years since each was released. This video biopic also chronicles the relationship and interactions between Paul and Brian over the decades, and ultimately the deep respect they have for each other —and it’s worth investing the 20 minutes to watch it. There’s also a personal tie for me here in a couple of ways. As a teenager, I was hugely influenced by both groups and in particular the Beatles; I became a life-long Beatle-ologist as a result (as a hobby). It also led me to a career in music & music tech (initially wanting to be a record producer having immersed myself in the techniques of production) — first as young A&R exec at EMI/Capitol, and then when I launched and ran Apple’s earliest focus on music and entertainment during my lengthy tenure there (where among my responsibilities, I had to deal with the fall out of the lawsuits between Apple Inc and Apple Records – the Beatles’ company). I also parlayed that early production passion into being a talent producer of award shows and celebrity fundraiser events over several decades. One of the events I was asked to co-produce was called “Adopt-a-Minefield” in conjunction the with the United Nations. Paul’s then-wife, Heather Mills, was heavily involved in the cause, and she organized these annual events (I believe there were five) featuring Paul and his band, and another major artist. I co-produced the event in 2002; Paul had invited Stephen Stills and Brian Wilson to perform with him — and the event was hosted by Jay Leno. The event took place in LA, and was a high-ticket event; I believe it was limited to 500 in attendance. I had some interesting conversations and interaction with Paul that evening, who was determined to ensure all the details to do with the production of the event were flawless and well-thought-out. For the 500 of us in attendance, it was magical to watch Paul and Brian doing a duet on both “God Only Knows”, a favorite of Paul’s, and on “Let It Be”. It’s too bad it wasn’t taped so it could be streamed. There can be no doubt of the creative genius and respect these two have for each other’s music and as individuals. As a final aside, Paul and Brian were born just two days apart in June 1942; geniuses in good company from the very start! (There’s a cute clip in the video essay of Brian calling Paul on his birthday and singing a verse from Paul’s “Birthday” song). Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com