Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Huawei to Hell

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Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

19
Jan

Artist Focus: Respite

This compelling five-piece formed from an amalgamation of previous bands, mindsets and connections and arose in 2020 as a formidable and commanding alt-rock/pop-punk force known newly as ‘Respite’.   Respite joined forces with Jeeni earlier this year and since then, Jeeni has been hard at work trying to elevate, uplift and support this fantastic group by providing an ethical worldwide platform for their hard-hitting and refreshing craft. Respite is: Andrew Vaughan & Euan Macqueen as guitarists, Ross Crawford on the bass, Reiss Mcleod on the drums and Sam Nicholson on the vocals.  Hailing from Glasgow, the group once known as ‘Finding Argyle’ committed to a brave yet necessary brand change as their sound and creative habits organically shifted and evolved over the major lockdown in 2020. The group formed as the five-piece they’re known as now back in 2015 as a result of recurring opportunities and coincidences and so, the band’s current synergy took shape as a perfect act of fate.  Their days as ‘Finding Argyle’ were decidedly grittier with tracks like ‘Spit’ and ‘Love Like Violence’. Their newer form, ‘Respite’ made a subtle, yet noticeable adjustment in their tone. The lightheartedness was slightly increased as a result of the more melodic and pop-punk inspirations for writing choruses. Vocalist Sam Nicholson is the primary conveyor of their new-found catchiness, held mostly in the anthemic choruses that parade accross most of their spirited songs. The change in vocal style is at times, reminiscent of the much more pop influenced rock style of ‘Deaf Havana’.  Although Respite generally embraces slightly less dark style of songwriting and performing, that doesn’t account for exceptions such as the deeply compelling and hard-hitting ‘Chemical Sleep’.  The music video for which is simple, yet genius; contained in a cramped, red room, the group’s performance energy is barely contained and fills the space to the brim, matching the mood and vigor of the piece to a tee.  Another noticeable and welcome advance in style came from the increased use of synthesis, thanks to guitarist, producer and mastering engineer, Andrew Vaughan. Sam Nicholson put it simply yet aptly that Vaughan is “quite the wunderkind”. On top of mixing and mastering the tracks, Andrew also manages all of the recordings for the group, effectively doing the work of about 6-10 people when compared to a standard studio set-up.   Speaking of, the sound achieved from Respite really is that of a fully-fledged studio arrangement. Clear, concise and tight to a fault, the production and overall contribution from Vaughan is nothing other than remarkable.  As a Glaswegian act, I was interested in the band’s opinion on how the impressive lineup of Scottish rock groups break the mould when compared to that of English or American rock efforts. After conferring with the other members, Sam told me that “I think there's something about the vocals which usually sets them apart, whether that is just the accent, or the way it hits the ear, it does stand out more often than not.” As obvious as it might sound that the iconic Scottish voice plays a major role in differentiating this specific Celtic brand of the same genre from others, it’s nevertheless a profound point that voices from different tribes will react with the ear in different ways. It implies a fascinating discussion about how different ethnicity's natural voices can induce different subconscious responses in listeners. Sam also voiced a tentative concern with lumping acts into the non-genre of Scottish rock and how it can at times be presumptuous, “I personally sometimes wonder if it's too easy to be lumped into "Scottish Rock" and then you're trapped there. It's a double-edged blade though, because, who wouldn't want their name next to bands like Biffy and Fatherson?” It certainly is an under-considered issue of generalising and connecting Scottish acts purely for being Scottish. It unintentionally strips individuality from these fantastic acts like Respite. Although, as Sam points out, it’s not exactly a bad thing to be mentioned among the greats of Scotland. A double-edged blade indeed.  Careful not to mention something the group isn’t ready to divulge just yet, Sam did allude to the future of Respite, “We're currently planning our second EP after a great response to the new tracks, and we're hoping to follow that up with a tour of Scotland, and potentially head down south.”  How can Jeeni support artists like Respite?   JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.   • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.  Check out Respite’s Jeeni showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/respite-band/ 

10
Dec

Portsmouth Based Tech Start-Up encourages local business to benefit from Kickstart, as December 17 deadline looms.

Local companies are up against the clock if they want to benefit from Chancellor Rishi Sunak’s generosity. The deadline to register for the Government Kickstart scheme, which pays for hand-picked new recruits to boost businesses, is Friday 17th December, so time is of the essence. Local entrepreneur Dr Shena Mitchell is founder of Jeeni, the ethical music streaming service with an audience outreach of over 3 million music lovers, and she is full of praise for Kickstart. “I have been hugely impressed by the quality of the applications, all our new recruits have been brilliant and they are a great asset to my team. So far we have recruited Marketing Executives, Sales Executives, Technical Developers, a Partnership Coordinator, as well as a Human Resource Manager to handle all these new recruits for us. In fact, we’ve been so impressed with the quality of our new applicants, that we’ve applied for another six recruits.” Her company has been working with their specialist partners Gradfuel, who are consultants for the Department of Work and Pensions, which is where the Kickstart grant funding comes from. “It’s a great opportunity for companies like ours to bring keen young graduates on board for a minimum of six months, and scale up our business. We not only do the right thing by helping new talent, but the cream of the crop could stay with us for years to come. Best of all, there’s no financial risk, with over £8,000 worth of grant money to support each young person taken on board.” The Kickstarter benefits are remarkably generous, and with only days left to register, Shena is offering to help local businesses take advantage. Benefits include £1,500 upfront grant funding from the UK Government, for each young person they enrol, in addition to their salary. 100% of their salary covered for up to 6 months and up to 100 hours a month. “Our partners Gradfuel are the experts in the market, and have raised £18.7m in Kickstart grant funding so far. We’ve had a 99.5% success rate in our applications, against the market average of 22%, supporting over 1,400 companies to process their Kickstart applications.” Full information and a direct link to registering for Kickstart applications is available on https://jeeni.com/kickstart/ shena@jenni.com 07703567196

21
Oct

Get Gaming for Halloween!

With Halloween approaching, many games have spooky events taking place over this period. There's a screaming variety of games to choose from and we are dead sure there's one that will get you trembling. Firstly, Call of Duty Warzone has an event running from the now to the 2nd of November called ‘The Haunting’! There are new scary skins available including the Scream franchise’s Ghostface! As well as new weapons and other bundles including items for the game's zombies mode. Secondly, the Nintendo game Animal Crossing has many new Halloween items available from Nooks Cranny, the games very own island shop as well as the clothing store. Players can buy Halloween treats and costumes alike. They have also introduced a new Day of The Dead festival within the game which we are sure will be very successful. The spooky month is running through to October 31st so don’t miss out. ‘Fury of the Damned’ from Sea of Thieves is scheduled to run until November 7th! During this, you battle skeleton camps and hordes, and if you complete enough challenges you can win rewards. And don't forget Fortnite and Overwatch with the drop of many new skins for players to use, and other games such as Rocket League and Pokemon Unite also getting involved in all sorts of monstrous ways. Be sure to check if your favourite game has any special content we haven’t mentioned already! Jeeni is proud to be partnering Chillblast, the UK’s most awarded gaming PC manufacturer. Whether you are a console gamer or are already a PC gamer be sure to visit Gaming PCs by Chillblast | Budget, 4K, VR Gaming PCs.  Visit Jeeni PCs (chillblast.com) to take a look at our very own Jeeni gaming PCs. Free UK delivery, 5-star Top-Rated on Trustpilot, 5 Year Warranty, monthly payment options from just £21, they're a dead cert!