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Huawei to Hell

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Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

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Oasis Maybe at The Gaiety Southsea on South Parade Pier

22
Jun

Oasis Maybe at The Gaiety Southsea on South Parade Pier

COMPETITION TIME WIN FREE ACCESS FOR A GROUP OF 6  Oasis Maybe at The Gaiety Southsea on South Parade Pier Sunday 13th June 7pm - 11pm Oasis Maybe were formed in late 2013 in Birmingham by five close friends and fans of Oasis. Since forming they have become one of the most in demand Oasis tribute bands on the scene and boasting to be the only Oasis tribute band to have performed live with an original Oasis band member – Tony McCarroll. They attempt to capture the sound look and feel of the Band from the 1994-1997 era performing tracks from ‘Definitely Maybe’ and ‘What’s the Story Morning Glory’ with a few famous B-sides thrown in for good measure. GIVEAWAY! We have 3 x tables for 6 people to give away for free, for the Oasis Tribute band at South parade pier in the Gaiety on Sunday night from 7pm to 11pm again saving £60 per table. How to win: All you have to do is like and share this blog post and we will enter you into the draw to be announced Saturday Night 12 June 2021 at 8pm.  Full Details of event can be found at: https://book.events/maybeoasis/2021-06-13/29861 #oasistribute #britpop #oasismaybe #pop #rock #livemusicinportsmouth #tonymccarroll

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Jeeni Weekly Round-Up #1

15
Oct

Jeeni Weekly Round-Up #1

Welcome to the first edition of our weekly round-up blog where we discuss the latest news in music, entertainment, and more.   16 Million Americans Learned to Play Guitar During the Pandemic, Fender Study Finds Guitar sales boomed during the pandemic in 2020, with Fender sales growing by 17%. It was clear more people were picking up the instrument during lockdowns. A new study from Fender has found that about 16 million Americans between the ages of 13 and 64 started learning to play the guitar during the last two years . The study was conducted between May and June 2021 by Fender and YouGov. With 62% citing COVID-19 and the associated lockdowns as a major motivator. 77% of those polled reported that they found themselves with additional free time during this period, which they used to play and practice. The “Fender’s New Guitar Player Analysis” study, analysed who new players were and how they took up the instrument. The major takeaways were that most new players are women, two-thirds of players are between the ages of 13 and 34, more than half of them use TikTok, and 38% of the new player identify as Latinx. Check out the Jeeni guitar channel to find a range of guitar-related content and tutorials. TikTok Adds Six Certified Sound Partners to Expand Commercial Music Library Music is an integral park of TikTok’s platform, with the power to spark global trends and even shoot artists to instant stardom. The platform has revealed six ‘certified Sound Partners’. According to TikTok in addition to its Commercial Music Library which includes over 150,000 pre-cleared, royalty-free tracks. This partnership will help expand the commercial music library in many surprising ways. Furthermore, TikTok has introduced a new series of parents with its marketing partner programme. Which will help brands make content with sound while also helping them better aline with key trends on the platform. Spotify’s New Music Friday Playlist Favors Indie Artists and Women, Study Finds Despite the challenges that independent label artists and women face in the music industry in a study published by the International Journal of Industrial Organisation concluded that independent artists and women are the top performers on the popular playlist New Music Friday, which is selected each week by publishers. Research conducted by the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota analyzed more than 5,700 songs on the playlist throughout 2017. The researchers sought to find if there was a bias towards any label, artist or genre. Despite predictions, they found that music released by an independent labels generally received a higher ranking. Resulting in an average boost of two spots on the New Music Friday playlist. Additionally, songs by female artists also benefited from a higher ranking on the playlist. However it’s important to note that this research only applies to the Spotify New Music Friday playlist. “For instance, streams for music by women account for about a quarter of total streams, a share that is low compared to the number of women listening, among musicians and in the population as a whole,” Said researchers. “Instead, the takeaway is New Music Friday does not compound the challenges these groups face in the music industry.” Recorded music revenue grew by 27% according to the RIAA mid-year report Recorded music revenue grew by 27% in the first 6 months of 2021 according to the RIAA mid-year report, versus the prior year, from $5.6 to $7.1 billion. Paid subscriptions continued to be the strongest contributor to growth. Comprising nearly two-thirds of total revenue, and more than 80 million paid subscriptions for the first time. Inspite of the effects of Covid-19 that have continued to affect the industry the music revenue is still growing. However year-over-year comparisons are significantlympacted by store closures, tour cancellations, and other disruptions from both 2020 and 2021. It's well known that artists rely heavily on live performance income. And the major streaming platforms revenue share is extremely unfair and continue to undervalue the artist. Jeeni is working hard to do the opposite, dedicated to boosting new talent and established artists alike. We reward them and their audiences ethically and fairly. Become a memeber today to find out how we can help promote you and how you can help creative talent alike. Make sure to follow jeeni on our social platforms to keep upadated on everything we are doing. In Jeeni News Jeeni is always finding new ways to support creative talent, currently we are searching for artists, musicans and performers to create dedicated showcases for. As well as looking for creative talent to interview for our Inside Stories. If you are interested please contact our artist liason ella@jeeni.com.

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My grandfather was killed by a rubbish truck.

06
Jun

My grandfather was killed by a rubbish truck.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “I admit we’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases. Then we can hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with all our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s one of Mel’s latest! One bright Autumn morning, my grandfather was killed by a rubbish truck. He got run over crossing the road on his regular walk to work. He was 84. And I am comforted to know that he loved his work as much as he loved his walk. As for me, I have yet to reach that ripe old age but I am still working most hours, most days. It's not so much that I love my work, more that I don't know what else to do. When I was younger, so much younger than today, I was promised a sci-fi world where all labour would be performed by robots, leaving us humans to enjoy a more meaningful existence. Before my grandfather was born, Karl Marx wrote that in a mechanised society workers would be freed from the monotony of work to “hunt in the morning, fish in the afternoon, criticise after dinner.” My grandfather certainly never saw such a sci-fi world or Marxist society, and I'm still waiting for it. But the way things are going I may not have to wait much longer for robots to take over the tedium of work. Judging by their behaviour, I suspect that most telemarketers, receptionists, estate agents and bar tenders were replaced by robots ages ago. And for drivers, machine operators and manual workers, it can only be only a matter of time. The first robot aircraft pilot took to the skies then navigated flawlessly and landed safely way back in 1947. Robots have been successfully conducting complex heart surgery since 2004. Artificial intelligence has already reached the cognitive power of a nine year-old human, in which case it is qualified to run for President of the USA in November. But do we really need political leaders to tell us how best to fill our waking hours? If we can develop all these technological wonders then we should be smart enough to work it out for ourselves. Our waking hours are dominated by work, whether we are in work or not. Strikers are depicted as troublemakers. Artists are depicted as idle. The poor are depicted as scroungers. The state cajoles the unemployed, the sick and the disabled to get off their arses and work. We are educated with the goal of work in mind, then having worked all our lives we are grudgingly handed back a mingy pension which we paid for in the first place. The idealised worker works in order to pay the childminder, the Deliveroo driver, the dog walker, the baker, the brewer, the app maker, because the idealised worker has no time left for such things. The idealised worker is too busy working to do any of these things for herself. For huge numbers of us the significance of the old certainties of community, religion, politics, and even family, have all fallen away to be replaced by work. For huge numbers of us work is how we give our lives meaning, while at the same time work has become more precarious, more impersonal, more stressful, and the app-driven gig economy is a perfect example of this. Yet everybody knows that automation is already capable of doing most manual jobs of work, and now artificial intelligence is predicted as achieving the capability of taking over most desk-bound jobs too. Since the pandemic, the entire framework of work is falling apart. But as a species we are not hardwired to work for a living. We never have been. We were lied to by those who said we must work, either to deserve a mythological afterlife, or protect an artificial realm, or for supposed honour, or someone else's glory, or for tokens of currency that can only be spent at the store owned by the company that issues those tokens in the first place. But of course all of those motivations are a con. And an obvious con at that. So here's the thing. Now we have cheap reliable technology, let's get all the robots to do as much of the muscle work as they can, and let's get all the artificial intelligences to do as much of the brain work as they can. Then let's redistribute the remaining working hours evenly to we the people, and in return pay ourselves some of that fabricated stuff called money so we can buy good food and decent shelter. By my reckoning six hours a day, three days a week will do nicely to pick up the slack left by the robots. Work needn't be useless. Work includes child-rearing, caring for the elderly and protecting the vulnerable. It also includes growing food, dreaming up new businesses and fixing the tap. And work includes creating music and dance and poetry and streaming it on Jeeni.com. It is self-evident that all valid work is worth the same valid reward. This is not a Marxist idea, or even a socialist proposal. It's the Tories who bang on about work being such a good thing and everyone pulling their weight, and I completely agree with them. Margaret Thatcher, that champion of work culture, said, “The heresies of one period become the orthodoxies of the next.” Yes indeedy, so bring on the robots and the electronic brains. If work is such a good thing then let everyone have a go for a few hours a week for a universal payment. And don't worry about how the payment is distributed, the accounts have all been reckoned by computers for years. Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

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