Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Huawei to Hell

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Huawei to Hell

Today, Jeeni returns to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “We’re ahead of our original schedule, but there’s still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases to hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he’s agreed to share his work with our members. He’s a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here’s Mel’s latest!

Trade wars are dangerous. When tariffs are imposed, and when sanctions get slapped on, and when one nation ceases to trade with another nation, then a trade war has a funny habit of turning into a real war. And here we all are, slap bang in the middle of a lulu of a trade war between the world’s two most powerful states. This is a trade war that’s not based on essentials like oil, or wheat, or toilet paper, but a trade war based on the pixies and fairy-dust of software algorithms. One day a peace treaty is waved, next day missiles are launched. Here is what happened in the future.

The proxy war between the Donald Trump and Boris Johnson axis against Xi Jinping didn’t affect me much, seeing as I had never owned a Huawei handset. I admit that I did find some comfort in the fact that cellphone zombies became totally bereft at the prospect of not being able to view TikTok on their little Chinese screens. All I could say to those morons was - suck it up guys, you had it coming!

In the first few hours of the Huawei denial of service attacks, the bewilderment and confusion of being unable to access social media apps soon turned to anger. This was triggered by the fact that the masses were unable to access social media apps to tell one another that they could not access social media apps. They soon realised they couldn’t remember any contact details of any of their virtual friends, or why they were virtual friends in the first place. Neither could they remember where they were, or where anything else was, or how to find their way around the real world at all. And without the Uber app they found themselves physically marooned within the perimeters of their ignorance. Deliveroo failed to respond the following day, so to avoid starvation, people who had a strong sense of smell managed to find their way to MacDonalds. But the computers were down and riots began when the Cola ran out, as slow-motion customers blamed Covid19 for the fact that China and the USA were having a software spat.

That night, the younger, more active elements of society went on the rampage and looted Tescos for pot noodles, which was a total waste of effort because the electric kettles no longer worked, thanks to smart-meter reliance on dodgy apps. Tuesday evening, after martial law and compulsory prayers, the county lines failed to supply recreational drugs to their app-driven client base, and hospitals were targeted to fill the gap in the market. Amusing video clips of the descent into chaos were not shared, not because of any sense of social responsibility but because Instagram was kaput. This added to the howling rage of the mob more than somewhat. Then, not long after the dogs began to disappear, the hunting of the weak began, and there was the smell of woodsmoke and bacon in the air. On a more positive note, a lot of overweight people slimmed down fast and learned new skills like shadow puppetry and crossbow production.

And so it was that all those predictions how civilisation would end as the result of electro-magnetic-pulse attacks turned out to be wrong. There was no need to launch missiles, zap communications or fry every electronic circuit in the land. All it took was an old man with an orange face to start a pissing contest. The irony that the old man’s preferred means of communication was Twitter is not lost on me, but then I don’t need Google Maps to tell me that we’re all up shit creek without a paddle.

And that, dear reader, is how come we all ended up on the Huawei to Hell.

09
May

A Year In Provence - ‘Bleeding’ Single Review

The latest of just two electric singles from this emerging Kent rock force, ‘Bleeding’ shows a passion and level of musicianship that can’t be faked.  As is a recurring development for blossoming artists, the pandemic produced the current, streamlined ‘A Year In Provence’ line-up. All hailing from Kent, AYIP currently consists of: Matt Porter controlling the melodies with his powerful vocals, the bass, handled assertively by Adam Bacon, James Ferner providing groove-essential rhythm guitar and backing vocals, Dan Wing for the commanding lead guitar and Jack Smith’s drumming, rhythmically guiding the entire ensemble through their rock-pop callbacks.  Brand new to Jeeni, AYIP have contributed both of their excellent tracks to their Jeeni showcase, adding even more substance to the rock channel. Check out their young, yet exhilarating showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/a-year-in-provence/.  ‘Bleeding’ takes its time, structurally, and interestingly doesn’t typically call back to previous sections, at least not in their initial forms. This single opens with full, proud classic pop-rock guitar chords that ring out mostly in the offbeats, certainly in lieu of Weezer’s ‘Say It Ain’t So’ albeit with a more present energy in the verses.   As the other parts join, the attention and care taken to the mix is made obvious. Crystal clear vocals show no sign of struggling to be heard over the washy cymbals, or three layers of guitar, not an easy feat for a band so early in their discography. No parts eat into other areas and are individually made clear and present.  This single is constantly moving and progresses organically much like a live performance, as you can hear the members grow in energy; the alternative to which is to harvest previously recorded parts and use identical pieces of audio in several, different places which, although is sometimes a logistical necessity in a studio, often results in an unplaceable feeling of “sameyness” and a lack of effort, something that cannot be heard at all in ‘Bleeding’.  As is also a theme with Jeeni’s budding new artists, A Year In Provence have made certain promises with their singles, and something about the five-piece inspires hope about fulfilling such promises. Check out their showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/a-year-in-provence/.  How can Jeeni support artists like A Year In Provence?   JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.  • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team. 

12
Mar

Crowdfunding Prize Draw, Win-Win with #ilovelive

There is currently an event happening, which reads like a memorabilia collector's wishlist. Using the hashtag #ilovelive, a Crowdfunding prize draw is a win-win, for the donation recipients and the prize winners. The event has so far raised over £575,000 and seen 64 Lots offered up by a variety of artists from right across the music world. These lots have now closed but there are still 21 up for grabs, including a DJing gig with Idris Elba, a signed snare drum from Dave Grohl, the original Spice Girls Union Jack Sofa and Frank Turner offering a 'Lifetime' guest pass for two. #ilovelive - Idris Elba The fund was set up by charity, Stagehand to raise funds for the behind the scenes and backstage crew of gigs and live events. Many of these staff are self-employed, so did not qualify for furlough or any of the grants offered. Some have suffered real hardship over the last year due to the effect of the lockdowns on the music industry. #ilovelive - Dave Grohl With the same charitable intentions, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds have set up their own Crowdfund prize draw. Nick and his band have generously collated over 100 items between them. The items being offered include, signed guitars and keyboards, plus gig tickets, art and gift vouchers. Having been forced to cancel their 2021 tour at the end of last year, the band realised the impact and knock on this would have on their support staff, so felt compelled to soften the blow for them. https://twitter.com/nickcave/status/1362352225780183047?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1362352225780183047%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nme.com%2Fnews%2Fmusic%2Fnick-cave-foo-fighters-launch-new-crowdfunders-raise-funds-road-crew-2883669 Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds Entrants for both prize draws can purchase a single ticket for £5 and there is no limit on the amount of tickets you purchase. Both draws close in March 2021, so check the sites for details and to hand over your dosh to a great cause. ww.jeeni.com #ilovelive Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

14
Jan

Weekly Round-Up #7

The latest news on all things Jeeni, music and entertainment.  Happy new year from Jeeni! We're constantly trying to enrich our database with new art for listeners to explore and enjoy and so, on this edition of Weekly Round-Up, we wanted to keep everyone updated on the new developments and additions that have been going on here at Jeeni. New Releases on Jeeni:  Jeeni’s database of incredible new music has recently been expanded with new projects from a variety of artists ranging from hip-hop to country. Baby Panna, Ariana May, Richard Murray, Lennox Campbell and DarkStarGraver have all recently uploaded new projects onto Jeeni. Exciting new music is what fuels Jeeni and allows us to promote and boost the artists behind them.  If you want to feature your work on Jeeni or if you’re already a Jeeni artist and want more of your work to be added to your showcase, contact us at doug@jeeni.com or ella@jeeni.com and we can sort everything out for you!  New Review blogs:  As more inspiring and inventive work is uploaded to Jeeni, as are more reviews. DarkStarGraver released an album late last year titled ‘Over The Bridge & Far Away’. Jeeni’s review of the album claimed that, “If you had any familiarity with this Portsmouth rapper’s refreshing and inventive brand of UK hip-hop, then it should be of no surprise that his newest album is as buoyant, animated and thought-out as it is.”  We also had the pleasure of reviewing Maple Sky’s ‘Wearing Red’, a smoky and lush opening track from their self-titled EP. A “perfect sonic epitome of the smooth jazz inspired outfit”, ‘Wearing Red’ is certainly a must-listen for jazz-heads.  Finally, Richard Murray’s anticipated new album, ‘Fire Sale’ was reviewed on Wednesday. “Richard Murray is a Northern Irish singer and songwriter who specialises in expanding the pre-conceived ideas people have about country music.”  Jeeni University Partnerships:  Jeeni is keen to operate and work with various universities to uplift blossoming and brand-new artists and to provide an ethical and supportive means of showcasing their talent to a worldwide platform. As well as getting young students and artists interested in becoming a Jeeni artist and making use of our marketing and artist liaison team, we’re also offering roles to become a part of the Jeeni team itself. Right now, we have our roles advertised with BIMM and Middlesex Unis, as well as on our Indeed page (https://uk.indeed.com/jobs?q=jeeni&l&vjk=a98f08cca58bd410).  Make sure you're following us on social media to keep up to date with new releases from our artists, our reviews and any job openings: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeenimusic/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeenimusic   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeenimusic   Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/33222018/admin/