Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Mel's bedtime story

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Mel's bedtime story

Once upon a time, I created a platform called jeeni.com which is where independent artists perform their music in front of new fans, and get rewarded for their efforts. On a Saturday night we ran a live global music festival featuring 18 acts from both sides of the Atlantic. The oldest performer was over 70, the youngest was under 10. They were brilliant, each in their own way. We broadcast over social media and websites. There were no adverts, there were no fakes, there was no hype. It didn't cost us a penny to run. Everyone had a ball. We are part of a revolutionary process that is killing a corrupt and rotting music industry which has held both audience and performer to ransom since the 1890s. So if you will indulge me, I'd like to tell you how, and why ...

I'm an old hoarder, I hoard old music recordings, and when I say old I mean really old. Upstairs, in what was once a studio but has turned into an Irish Setter leisure lounge, there are several hundred wax cylinders from the 1890s. Each cylinder is a unique recording from an age before duplication was possible. If Miss Florrie Forde wanted to sell a hundred copies of Hold Your Hand Out You Naughty Boy to her adoring public, then she had to keep lubricated and trill the bloody thing into a brass horn a hundred times and record it onto wax in real time. But to me the beauty of these cylinders is not that each one is a unique recording, but that each one is mercifully short, rotating at 120 revolutions a minute and lasting a meagre two minutes, because that's all a wax cylinder can hold. And so the two minute pop single was born. At the start of the twentieth century discs replaced cylinders, but not a lot changed. I have another room full of shellac discs that spin at 78 revolutions a minute. When it came to pop singles from artists bringing joy to the world throughout the first half of the twentieth century, they had just under three minutes to do it in. And if they were any good, just under three minutes was plenty.

I feel personally to blame for what happened next, because in the hour of my birth in 1948, the microgroove vinyl disc hit the market, spinning at what my Irish chums call dirty tree and a turd revolutions per minute. I have an entire wall of vinyl albums, with their glorious covers and sleeve notes. And yes, they are arranged in alphabetical order by artist and date-order of release. Their storage capacity is approximately twenty-five minutes a side, which is usually twenty-two minutes too long. And on the opposite wall is where all my CDs sulk, each one capable of storing seventy-four minutes of audio, and not one of them played since the turn of this century. Why? Because a hacker called SoloH went and ripped the source code of something called the Fraunhofer MP3 encoder and spread it all over the internet for free. Thanks to SoloH, I can not only digitise my entire collection of recorded music without any restrictions on playing time, I can access the entire library of everything that has ever been recorded, for ever.

My phone weighs exactly the same as my 78rpm copy of Little Richard's single Tutti Frutti, which runs for two minutes 28 seconds of total perfection. My phone holds 21,417 tracks in MP3 format, some of them complete symphonies, which are pretty good, some of them prog-rock drum solos, as used by Viet Cong torturers to break the spirit of the enemy. My desktop hard drive and cloud-accounts contain too many tracks to keep track of. I declare that my motivation for amassing this ludicrous collection of music was that one day it would bring me comfort in my old age, when my body and brain become enfeebled and I feel the need to keep hold of past pleasures while dying. As it turns out, I started playing my collection early, during lockdown, and wished I was dead by the end of day three. The singles were great, but the albums were mostly insufferable. Which is when I realised that the music album is stone dead, and the nightmare of a lifetime of audio padding is finally over. Then the real truth hit me. The recorded music industry is dead too. Thanks to COVID19 there has been an explosion of new creativity. Everyone is now a record producer, anyone can run a broadcast music channel, and that's exactly what everyone and anyone seems to be doing, including me. The spongers and leeches and shysters have been exposed as completely unnecessary, as have most of the agents, publicists and managers. They are no longer able to milk performers in our new world of social distancing, because they have lost their power. It's the remote audience that now has the power, and this audience wants instant gratification, not a load of overhyped, overwrought, overlong, flimflam.

Jeeni.com is my final project in a very long career. I'm giving my artists three minutes per track to nail it, because that's what my old hoard tells me is right. And I hope you agree that in order to shine, three minutes is all that anyone should ever need.

03
Sep

The Creator of Jeeni.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “I admit we're ahead of our original schedule, but there's still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases. Then we can hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” It is day 5 today and we have raised 98% of our target £100K. If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here's one of Mel's latest! There was once a little Quaker boy called Charlton, who got sent off to a nice school in Oxfordshire. Charlton liked videogames very much indeed, and when he turned thirteen he became a fan of one particular game which was called Deus Ex Machina. It was hopelessly life-affirming and it allowed him to influence the plotline and outcome, just like a load of similar games. But it was also the first truly interactive movie, running in real time, with voice actors and a full music soundtrack. It came with a large monochrome poster of the face of a beautiful, innocent, yet alluring lady robot, which the boy hung on his wall. And that thought pleases me, because I was the creator of the game, and my intention was to blow the minds of children just like Charlton. Ten years later, he was no longer a Quaker schoolboy but a stroppy atheist, and he was making a living writing very naughty cartoon strips and highly scurrilous columns for a computer magazine called PC Zone. I hope his career choice was influenced by the naughty cartoon strips and scurrilous columns I was writing for the rival magazines he devoured, but I suspect he already considered me to be an old fart. Back then I believed it was my mission to take the piss out of anyone and everyone in the computer industry, and so did young Charlton. He was calling himself Charlie by then. Charlie Brooker. Today, Charlie Brooker is probably best known as the creator of the Netflix phenomenon Black Mirror. In a brilliant episode, he didn’t just nick my idea of an interactive movie where players influence the plotline and outcome, he went and did it for real. He set his episode in 1984, which was the year of my game’s release, and he hung my old poster on the wall for a touch of authenticity. And yes, he did ask permission. And yes, I was more than happy to give it to him. And no, he didn’t pay me. Brooker’s use of the branching narrative was absolutely seamless, and when the viewer-player-actor makes a choice via a mouse or remote control there is absolutely no buffering involved. And just like in my old game, if the viewer-player-actor refuses to make a choice, then the movie-game-stage makes it for them. In the future, I am sure this technique will become an active tool of the porn and ultra-violence industries, but consumers of mainstream entertainment have become more and more bone idle over the years. In fact vast numbers can’t even be bothered to select the crap entertainment they watch or play, but allow algorithms to select for them. So no, this is not the future of movies, it’s the past. Charlie Brooker didn’t predict this, and neither did I. It was predicted by Ray Bradbury in his 1953 novel Fahrenheit 451, where books have been banned because they encourage people to think, and the 1966 film of that story was one of my greatest influences. In the movie, the writer/director François Truffaut introduces us to a world in which the masses consume pap via personal screens, and believe they have choice in determining the outcome of all sorts of vacuous plotlines. They don’t, of course, and the purpose of such so-called entertainments is to pretend the people have a say in the way things are run, what choices they have, and what garbage they believe in. And here we are, more than half a century later, living in just such a society. And we don’t even need movies to condition the masses, we can use videogames. People who live-stream their gameplay are called streamers. People who watch them playing are called lost souls. Today more people watch streamers play sports simulations than watch live sport. This passive practice is ridiculously popular on streaming sites like Twitch, YouTube and a whole host of others. Even back in 2014, Twitch streams for computer games attracted more traffic than America’s leading cable and satellite network HBO, with professional streamers mashing up high-level play and banal commentary. Now they can extort big money from sponsors, subscriptions, and donations. Last year, passive viewers watched active players for more than 450 billion minutes of streamed content on Twitch alone, as the streamers jiggled and babbled while playing with themselves at FIFA 19, Monster Hunter World and all the rest. One such streamer is a charming young man called Richard Tyler Blevins, who sports attractive neon-tinted hair and goes by the name of Ninja. He has minted around ten million dollars from subscribers who pay to watch him play a game called Fortnight. Let me just make that clear – they are not paying to play Fortnite themselves, they are paying to watch Mr Ninja play. Fortnite involves a hundred players at a time who fight and butcher one other to the death until only one is left alive, all in high-definition video. There are currently 200 million players of the game. The youngest players are aged eight, which should worry their parents, but probably doesn’t because mom and pop are too busy passively watching some other streamer. The average age of a Fortnite player is 13, which is the same age as the schoolboy Charlie Brooker was when my hopelessly life-affirming game helped turn him into a potty-mouthed cynic. At least I know I succeeded in something. Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

02
Sep

Jeeni supports Escape to the Farm

  Jeeni supports Arms Around the Child’s Escape to the Farm Looking for a family day out that supports children in third world countries? Presenting Arms Around The Child’s Escape to the Farm! Located at the idyllic Rushmere Farm in Hambledon, in Southern England's fabulous South Downs National Park, Escape to the Farm is a yoga retreat come summer camp where there is something for everyone. Explore food workshops and pizza making, poetry, eco talks and much more. There’s something for everyone to explore! Need some relaxing after a long six weeks holiday? Try one of the yoga, tai chi or meditation groups, guaranteed to help you take some breathing space and let go of all your worries. With live acoustic performances, storytelling and sound healing, there’s plenty of noise to block out the hustle and bustle of everyday life at Escape to the Farm. Are you a budding art enthusiast? Try your hand at life and nature drawing and learn a new skill. Come evening time you can gather around a roaring campfire before heading to bed in a beautiful yurt or tent of your own. Day Ticket £20 Day Ticket + Lunch & Dinner £35 Camping Per Night £10 Enquire for Accommodation Options Luxury Accommodation Yurts & Camping Escape to the Farm is a fundraiser for the Arms Around The Child charity who are raising money to build a school in Ghana for underprivileged children. Jeeni supports Arms Around The Child, who provide generously for children living in extreme adversity globally. To donate directly to Arms Around The Child you can go to their website www.armsaroundthechild.org/. Arms Around The Child seek to provide sanctuary, community, warmth protection, education, healthcare, safety, family, equality, love, hope and respect. Contact Jeeni Ambassador Ellie Milner for more details and get yourselves down to Escape to the Farm for a day of fun that will leave you fulfilled in all the best ways. Ellie: +447801292553 info@armsaroundthechild.org www.armsaroundthechild.org/

19
Mar

Something for the Weekend

Need a little listening inspiration? With all the new music on offer, across the many genres available, it's difficult to know where to start. Allison Hussey and Madison Bloom of Pitchfork create a Friday Newsletter each week, to keep you up to date with the weeks new releases. If you're trying to decide on something for the weekend, here are their recommendations from this weeks releases. Lana Del Rey: Chemtrails Over the Country Club [Polydor/Interscope] Lana Del Rey Lana Del Rey announced Chemtrails Over the Country Club almost a year ago. The Norman Fucking Rockwell! follow-up, which was pushed back from an autumn 2020 release, was led by “Let Me Love You Like a Woman” and the title track. The album also includes"Tulsa Jesus Freak" which the singer had teased with an Instagram post last summer. Benny the Butcher/Harry Fraud: The Plugs I Met 2 [Black Soprano Family/SRFSCHL] Benny the Butcher Griselda MC Benny the Butcher and producer Harry Fraud have joined forces for The Plugs I Met 2, a nine-track release featuring 2 Chainz, Fat Joe, Jim Jones, and more. The new project follows Benny’s 2020 album Burden of Proof, which was recorded at the same time as The Plugs I Met 2. Check out the music videos for 2’s “Thanksgiving” and “Plug Talk.” Sofia Kourtesis: Fresia Magdalena EP [Technicolour] Sofia Kourtesis Fresia Magdalena is the third EP from Berlin-based electronic producer Sofia Kourtesis, joining last year’s Sarita Colonia and her 2019 self-titled EP. The project features four songs, including “La Perla,” which Kourtesis built around field recordings she made in her home city of Lima, Peru.  Mare Cognitum: Solar Paroxysm [I, Voidhanger/ Extraconscious] Mare Cognitum Portland musician Jacob Buczarski makes black metal under the name Mare Cognitum. Solar Paroxysm is Buczarski’s fifth album under the moniker, following last year’s Wanderers: Astrology of the Nine. Loretta Lynn: Still Woman Enough [Legacy] Loretta Lynn Still Woman Enough is the 50th album from 88 year-old country star Loretta Lynn, following 2018’s Wouldn’t It Be Great. Intended to celebrate the presence of women in country music, the project features new songs, as well as re-interpretations of classics from Lynn’s catalog. Margo Price, Reba McEntire, Carrie Underwood, and Tanya Tucker all make guest appearances on the record. Show Me the Body: SurviveEP [Loma Vista] Show Me The Body New York City hardcore punk band Show Me the Body are back with a new EP. Survive follows their 2019 full-length Dog Whistle. The group produced the three songs with Gabriel Millman and Patrik Berger; the EP is also mixed and mastered by Arthur Rizk. Surviveis the first project that Show Me the Body wrote and recorded completely in their CORPUS studio. “The songs deal with spiritual and physical isolation, as well as staying ready and preparing for the next time we come together,” they said. www.jeeni.com www.pitchfork.com