Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Mel's bedtime story

/ By
Mel's bedtime story

Once upon a time, I created a platform called jeeni.com which is where independent artists perform their music in front of new fans, and get rewarded for their efforts. On a Saturday night we ran a live global music festival featuring 18 acts from both sides of the Atlantic. The oldest performer was over 70, the youngest was under 10. They were brilliant, each in their own way. We broadcast over social media and websites. There were no adverts, there were no fakes, there was no hype. It didn't cost us a penny to run. Everyone had a ball. We are part of a revolutionary process that is killing a corrupt and rotting music industry which has held both audience and performer to ransom since the 1890s. So if you will indulge me, I'd like to tell you how, and why ...

I'm an old hoarder, I hoard old music recordings, and when I say old I mean really old. Upstairs, in what was once a studio but has turned into an Irish Setter leisure lounge, there are several hundred wax cylinders from the 1890s. Each cylinder is a unique recording from an age before duplication was possible. If Miss Florrie Forde wanted to sell a hundred copies of Hold Your Hand Out You Naughty Boy to her adoring public, then she had to keep lubricated and trill the bloody thing into a brass horn a hundred times and record it onto wax in real time. But to me the beauty of these cylinders is not that each one is a unique recording, but that each one is mercifully short, rotating at 120 revolutions a minute and lasting a meagre two minutes, because that's all a wax cylinder can hold. And so the two minute pop single was born. At the start of the twentieth century discs replaced cylinders, but not a lot changed. I have another room full of shellac discs that spin at 78 revolutions a minute. When it came to pop singles from artists bringing joy to the world throughout the first half of the twentieth century, they had just under three minutes to do it in. And if they were any good, just under three minutes was plenty.

I feel personally to blame for what happened next, because in the hour of my birth in 1948, the microgroove vinyl disc hit the market, spinning at what my Irish chums call dirty tree and a turd revolutions per minute. I have an entire wall of vinyl albums, with their glorious covers and sleeve notes. And yes, they are arranged in alphabetical order by artist and date-order of release. Their storage capacity is approximately twenty-five minutes a side, which is usually twenty-two minutes too long. And on the opposite wall is where all my CDs sulk, each one capable of storing seventy-four minutes of audio, and not one of them played since the turn of this century. Why? Because a hacker called SoloH went and ripped the source code of something called the Fraunhofer MP3 encoder and spread it all over the internet for free. Thanks to SoloH, I can not only digitise my entire collection of recorded music without any restrictions on playing time, I can access the entire library of everything that has ever been recorded, for ever.

My phone weighs exactly the same as my 78rpm copy of Little Richard's single Tutti Frutti, which runs for two minutes 28 seconds of total perfection. My phone holds 21,417 tracks in MP3 format, some of them complete symphonies, which are pretty good, some of them prog-rock drum solos, as used by Viet Cong torturers to break the spirit of the enemy. My desktop hard drive and cloud-accounts contain too many tracks to keep track of. I declare that my motivation for amassing this ludicrous collection of music was that one day it would bring me comfort in my old age, when my body and brain become enfeebled and I feel the need to keep hold of past pleasures while dying. As it turns out, I started playing my collection early, during lockdown, and wished I was dead by the end of day three. The singles were great, but the albums were mostly insufferable. Which is when I realised that the music album is stone dead, and the nightmare of a lifetime of audio padding is finally over. Then the real truth hit me. The recorded music industry is dead too. Thanks to COVID19 there has been an explosion of new creativity. Everyone is now a record producer, anyone can run a broadcast music channel, and that's exactly what everyone and anyone seems to be doing, including me. The spongers and leeches and shysters have been exposed as completely unnecessary, as have most of the agents, publicists and managers. They are no longer able to milk performers in our new world of social distancing, because they have lost their power. It's the remote audience that now has the power, and this audience wants instant gratification, not a load of overhyped, overwrought, overlong, flimflam.

Jeeni.com is my final project in a very long career. I'm giving my artists three minutes per track to nail it, because that's what my old hoard tells me is right. And I hope you agree that in order to shine, three minutes is all that anyone should ever need.

06
Jun

I have a confession to make.

Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “Day 5 and we have reached 98% of our 100K target". If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his website www.melcroucher.net. Here's one of Mel's latest! I have a confession to make. I have been pimping a young model, and I confess my shame. My pimping is the result of a moment of weakness. I’ve had models before, and I understand their capricious nature. One moment they are willing to perform across my desk, and the next they freeze and refuse to let me do what I want to do. But it has not been any fantasy performance that’s got me hooked, it has been the fantasy looks. I was bored. I wanted colour. I wanted make-up. I wanted dazzle and glitter. I wanted tribal tattoos, hot bubbles, glowing tubes and a whirling fan-dance. Forgive me, but I’ve pimped my computer.In 1909, Henry Ford declared, “I will build a motor car for the great multitude. It will be constructed of the best materials, by the best men to be hired, after the best designs that modern engineering can devise. And no man making a good salary will be unable to own one.” He then added his famous line, “The customer can have his car painted any colour he wants as long as it’s black.” And so they were. Painted black. When I was young, cars were still mostly black, apart from the odd spot of lipstick around the exhaust pipes of those used in suicide pacts. As for computer manufacturers, they all followed Henry Ford’s marketing strategy for half a century. Except their colour of choice was not black, but the sort of beige favoured by dead maggots. The exception was the ZX Spectrum which was black, but the keyboard really was made of dead maggots. Apart from that aberration, beige was the colour. In fact the beige box came to be used as a term of derision for desktops, implying dated, boring specifications. For example, IBM's early desktop computers were not only very beige indeed, but also very box-shaped indeed, and most PC clone manufacturers followed suit. As IBM and its imitators came to dominate the industry, beige boxes became the unquestioned norm for boring desktop computer design. Even early Apple Macs were beige boxes, until Apple took the revolutionary step in 1987 of switching to the even more boring shade of Chicken Poo By Moonlight. Not long after, equally boring videogame consoles took over the world, until there were so many revolting grey Nintendos and Segas and Playstations and Gameboys, that they had to be transported across deep space to be turned into landfill on distant moons. Meanwhile all Earthbound computers were still fifty shades of grey, until one day Apple changed everything.I remember the shock when their 1988 iMacs were launched. Suddenly we had a choice of computers that looked like see-through giant jellybabies, in a range of five neon colours called gangrene, monkeybum, impetigo, barbie and mince. And that was the end of the adult era in electronics, as a collective madness took over computer marketing. Now users are persuaded to buy machines not for what they do in the adult world, but for their infantile appearance. Users who are normally sane actually enjoy miniature coloured LEDs, winking and blinking through transparent windows like a pixie brothel. Tubes of bubbling, gaudy liquids snake their way through the computer’s guts like tapeworms on acid. Miniature spotlights illuminate cooling fans and heat-sinks from the inside out. These days a serious gamer will spend serious money on a serious PC, then corrupt the whole thing by spraying it with Plasti-Dip peelable, durable, non-slip, rubberised, multi-coloured spew. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have, but a bloke called Xephos made me do it. Let me explain further. I have been influenced by the newly popular phenomenon of celebrity PCs, where people buy a particular machine simply because their heroes favour it, endorse it or actually commission it in their name. For example one of the world’s most popular videogaming channels on YouTube is called The Yogscast. Last time I counted, it had more than seven and a half million subscribers and over six billion views, and that’s a whole lot of purchasing power. Their founder, this bloke called Xephos, got a business partner of Jeeni to create “the ultimate Yogscast PC range to live stream and play games all day.” And as the factory os not far from me, I went over to mock. But I stayed to pray, and found myself mesmerised by the bloody thing. Bloody as in bejewelled with animated red illuminations inside the see-through casing. Which is how I joined this PC pimping revolution.And even non-gamers are at it. Most regular folk, who normally wear sensible shoes and don’t indulge in bear-baiting or country music, they too have joined the pimping revolution by expressing their personal proclivities via their mobile phones. In the beginning, all mobiles were universally Henry Ford black. Now even old age pensioners wave customised casings around, all lipstick colours, sparkles and cutesy-poo creature decorations. At least, that’s what mine’s like. But I still suffer from a residual shame over my pimping habit, and like all instant gratification I feel guilty because of it. In fact while looking for a replacement machine recently, I have been quite attracted by one of those shapely models with a bit of sobriety, experience and bulk. And yes, before you ask, it’s black. Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

04
May

Ariana May - ‘First Love’ Album Review

Ariana May’s first instrumental album is a delicate and stirring collection of piano excellence.   Ariana May has been a vital Jeeni member for a while now and has developed an incredibly in-depth and fascinating showcase full of art-pop and remarkable talent. Recently, she has uploaded the entirety of her new instrumental album, ‘First Love’ on to Jeeni. Listen now via Ariana’s showcase available here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/arianamay/.  As sweet and melodic her voice is, Ariana’s choice of expressing her compositions purely through her piano means that the structures are much more freeing and aren’t constricted to modern pop’s verse, chorus, verse, chorus, chorus forms. Her musicianship flows almost spontaneously; tempo decreases and increases as Ariana sees fit and phrases are fluid in length and timbre.  The titles are excellent tonal suggestions as they act as a sort of starting point of picturing the imagery that Ariana clearly has in mind during both composing and performing these dramatic and theatrical pieces. Ariana May shows a real knack for cinematographic songwriting as it’s not difficult at all to imagine any one of these pieces as a perfect accompaniment for a location-setting scene in cinema.  The final track, ‘Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow’ is exceptional, especially considering the tonal balance Ariana creates. A moody left hand mostly mumbles in a depressed, constant rotation of dark notes; meanwhile, the right is desperately trying to sound uplifting and optimistic through bright, ascending melodies and phrases. The two parts feel like two characters that are trying to influence the other to behave more like them at different moments of the piece, showing a vivid internal conflict, hence the ‘Sweet Sorrow’ in the title. The changes between these mindsets are sudden and frantic, a perfect representation of a troubled mind.  What’s special about these types of projects is that a breakdown or analysis of these compositions could easily be miles from what Ariana had envisioned when writing it, but the freedom given to the listener with a vague title and complete absence of lyrics allows your imagination to fill in gaps and colour in the compositions with meaning and intention that makes most sense to you; it becomes personal.  Throughout 'First Love', Ariana constantly shows an unprecedented level of emotion and control in her playing through her soft and poignant broken chords and melodies. Check out the entirety of this enchanting record on Jeeni: https://jeeni.com/showcase/arianamay/

18
Feb

Artist Focus: Cassius Gray

With casual, effortless rhymes and relatable vibes, Cassius Gray is making huge waves in the UK jazz rap scene.  Cassius Gray has expanded and diversified Jeeni’s hip-hop, rap and RnB channels with six incredible tracks, each one different to the last and totally refreshing. His last single, ‘Sunbeds’ is a lush and lavish piece, fueled by smooth, old-school RnB samples and sentiments; listen on Jeeni here: https://jeeni.com/sunbeds-cassius-gray/. And check out Cassius’ showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/0xr7kzzd8v5p/   Cassius has been making music for seven years now and has been developing his sound with every chance he’s had. His track from 2019, ‘A.M’ has nearly 1 million listens and according to Cassius is a surefire crowd-pleaser, “my favourite to perform was my song A.M with Souleymane Noe/Luther King, it bangs so hard live man!” Luther King contributes an icy cold verse on ‘A.M’, as well as providing the dangerously catchy “I don’t care if this tune don’t bang” hook.   One of many successful collaborations, ‘A.M’ set a trend of sorts; ‘Jp from 640’, Teddy, J P Rose, and producer San Tino all followed with collaborations after the 2019 single. Cassius especially praised the latter for the creative synergy the two have, “Specifically shout out to my guy San Tino - the producer of our 2021 Single ‘Cookoo’”. This track from last year saw Cassius venture into an entirely new direction for his vocal talent: garage. San Tino lays down an unmistakable modern garage beat over which he plays calming synth pads and minimal, yet effective added percussion. As well as just rapping, Cassius also sings over the freeing instrumental in the form of expressive, auto-tuned vocalisations and humming. This stylistic risk and subsequent pay-off makes ‘Cookoo’ a clearly special moment in Cassius Gray’s young discography.  ‘Chillhop’ and ‘jazz rap’ are broad genres that Cassius is often inclined towards, but to expect one style from this artist is pointless. Cassius’ influences act like a rolling snowball, picking up anything and everything in its path and using it to make it stronger, more complex and layered. His inspirations stem back to early 90s hip-hop, namely ‘A Tibe Called Quest’. Q-Tip's crew redefined hip-hop and continues to stir the imaginations of entire generations of artists even now. Tribe’s approach to samples, beats and attitude can regularly be seen in Cassius’ own work, especially with tracks like ‘Mum Called?’ and the collaborative, ‘World Spins Too Fast’.  Cassius is an essential component of this new and exciting wave of UK hip-hop and Jeeni, along with all of his fans, can’t wait for his debut album, which he promises is lined up for this year. Make sure you’re following Cassius on social media to stay in the loop of his ever-developing sound.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cassiusgray_/   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cassiusgraymusic   Jeeni showcase: https://jeeni.com/showcase/0xr7kzzd8v5p/   How can Jeeni support artists like Cassius Gray?   JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.  • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.  artist biography