Jeeni Blog

Helping the next generation of talent to build a global fanbase

Mel's World

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Mel's World

Today, Jeeni has returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. Jeeni founding director Mel Croucher says, “I admit we're ahead of our original schedule, but there's still so much more to do. We need to scale our online platform globally now and build our mass artist showcases. Then we can hit all our targets, and give our new artists the recognition they deserve.” If you want to see our pitch click HERE.

Mel has been writing the best-loved column in top-selling tech magazines for over 30 years. Now he's agreed to share his work with all our members. He's a video games pioneer and musician, and to to find out more about Mel check out his Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher. Here's one of Mel's latest!

This place is neither a home nor a prison. It is some sort of institution. It drips a pallid 1980s atmosphere, and it makes me both afraid and excited. I am completely lost in a badly-lit labyrinth of corridors. It feels like I am being toyed with, and I want to leave. Of course I know the rules by now, and the most important rule of all is that I must keep my social distance of an arms-length and avoid physical contact with any other lost souls who wander these passages. They are creepy. They look more like ghosts than real people. Their eyes are disturbing. Sometimes they stare ahead vacantly, sometimes their staring gazes flick to the left and then to the right in a zombie rhythm. I cannot see their noses or their mouths, because they are covered by coloured masks. My own mouth is not covered at all. My own mouth gapes wide open. I think I feel hungry. I think I am searching for food. Perhaps I will find a piece of fruit, or maybe one of those pills I am encouraged to consume. As I turn a corner, I nearly collide with one of the ghostly figures. But I keep calm. I do not panic. I simply turn away and move as fast as I can. Which is not very fast at all. I can sense another presence around the next corner. The passages are only wide enough for one soul to pass at a time. I feel rather hopeless. I feel quite trapped. I think there is a distinct possibility that very soon I will lose my life.

I think I need to build a wall before my time runs out. I know how to build a wall, I have had plenty of practice. The bottom rows of bricks slot into place without much trouble. But the more I seem to succeed, the more difficult my masonic task becomes. The stupid smaller bricks take on a will of their own, and the larger bricks feel clumsy in my hands. My wall is becoming a mess. There are big gaps in the structure where an enemy might get through. There are little gaps in the structure where a virus can penetrate. I think I'd better get out of here. I think I'd better find me a new space, one with some ladders to climb up and ledges to crawl along. Perhaps if I navigate these ladders and ledges, I can find my way out. And will you look up there! High above the ladders, almost out of sight, there is a young woman in a purple frock. She is in obvious distress. She calls out to me. Her flame-red hair cascades around her face, and then blows backwards. Which is bizarre, because there is no wind to speak of. Now she screams out, the same word over and over again. The word is help. Her cry is too theatrical. She has a big nose, like Princess Diana, or Pete Townshend. I am not very interested in her. I am much more interested in the beer. It believe that the beer is stored in big wooden barrels, stacked up in strategic places, and seemingly too heavy to be manhandled. But I am able to pick up any barrel I like, magically, without a problem, because I am unnaturally strong. And I am very, very hairy, from tip to toe. If I was once Pacman, now I am the mighty Kong.

It has been many years since the viral invaders arrived from the Far East. The Space Invaders. At first the effects of their invasion were only faintly amusing, but then they grew rather attractive, and strangely exciting, and eventually they became quite addictive, even all-consuming. But as with all invasions, their glamour grew dull and they eventually lost their grip on power and faded into folk-memory. Recently, my domestic patterns have been disrupted, just like everyone else's. I have been procrastinating. I have been clearing out the cupboard under the stairs. Which is how I came across this old crate that has been gathering dust for longer than I can remember. Near the top of the crate there was a sleeping collection of very old videogame cassettes, many of which I had published myself. And beneath those old games there were some vintage machines in their original boxes. Once I'd worked out which of their black power supplies went into which of their grubby little holes, they sprang back into life to display crude blocky graphics on their silly little screens. It's been decades since I played Pacman, or Tetris, or Donkey Kong. And the last time I played Space Invaders, silly haircuts were compulsory and Margaret Thatcher was driving around in a tank. When this shitstorm is over, and when I am able to go free-range again, I wonder how long it will take me to forget about all the ghosts in all the corridors from all those bygone times. As for the flame-haired damsel in distress, I remember her name clearly. Her name was Pauline Daniella Verducci Lady Louise. She was less than an inch tall. She was a drip. The beer was virtual. It still is.

Jeeni Creator, Mel Croucher - badly in need of a haircut

Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

24
Nov

Black Friday Jeeni PC Sale On Now!

Jeeni are excited to announce that we will be taking part in the Black Friday sales madness by offering 5% off all exclusive Jeeni products with discount code BF2021, available now!  Save up to £85 for a Jeeni PC that best suits you, whether it’s gaming, productivity or storage.  Chillblast is the UK’s most awarded PC manufacturer and so Jeeni are delighted to be partnered with them with these exclusive Jeeni PCs. PCs designed for musicians and creatives Free UK delivery Five year warranty 5% off with code BF2021 Trust Pilot: five star rating Ready-built or customisable to suit your needs Free Jeeni membership with each order, worth £85 Finance options available Get a Jeeni PC for an all-time lowest price at: https://www.chillblast.com/celebrity-pcs/jeeni-pcs 

06
Jan

DarkStarGraver - 'Over The Bridge & Far Away' Album Review

If you had any familiarity with this Portsmouth rapper's refreshing and inventive brand of UK hip-hop, then it should be of no surprise that his newest album is as buoyant, animated and thought-out as it is. This is the first album DSG has released since becoming an integral part of the Jeeni mission. DarkStar has been an avid Jeenius since Summer last year and has been blessing the Jeeni database with vibrant and innovative artistry ever since. All seven tracks of this incredible project are on Jeeni right now. Jeeni is always looking to represent and uplift artists with visions as clear and focused as DarkStar. DarkStarGraver's biggest crime here is leaving us wanting for more content because although he's cohesively expressed a giant variety of emotions, styles and influences, he took just 18 minutes to do it! He justified the choice of a shorter album on Instagram, "New album is 7 tracks in total, could’ve been more but I like that number", DSG cleverly released this record knowing he has so much more in his artistic tank for the next project.  A clear highlight on this record is the early, consecutive killer features on ‘Running Man’ and ‘No Brainer’ from Kid Crayy and Baby Panna respectively. DSG takes the reigns on these tracks at first and allows his fellow Portsmouth MCs to embellish the final push and create a rememberable climax for these standout tracks. Kid Crayy's attacking flow is restless and constantly bops and weaves around the beat. Baby Panna, however takes his time and makes each syllable hit harder than the last. Panna also performs the ear-worm 'Ride with me' hooks just before and after his verse which just completes the track. DarkStar made it clear that “This project is dedicated to the Portsmouth Hip Hop scene” and made a specific mention to the Portsmouth artists that predate him and thanked them for “Sparking the fire that made me want to rep my hometown as an artist”. A meaningful dedication to a blossoming music scene is a suitable sentiment for such an excellently put together and varied album.  DSG uses his robust and adaptable voice so well on this project that at times, it sounds like extra, unlisted features. For example, a rather high-pitch singing voice for the hooks on ‘On My Way’ is then met with a deep and resonant rapped verse to finish off the short opening track. ‘Gohan’ (review) which was a single teaser for this album, features more of DarkStar’s contagious melodic rapping which is enhanced and made all the more effective with the excellent production of Zack Nailor at WRS Studios.  The hi-hats and 808 bass in the beat for ‘Juice & Gems’ works so well with the jangly acoustic guitar sample, as though they were always meant to be heard together. In fact, the entire album makes such an effective use of samples throughout; ‘Slow Jamz’ has a romantic and theatrical strings sample which turns the rapid, trap-esque beat into a dramatic, epic cut that is just too short. DarkStar also hints at a feral, almost growling voice on this track which provides yet more evidence that DSG will never settle or stop experimenting with what his voice can achieve.  The album ends with class and impact. ‘Over Time’ features a melodramatic female vocal sample which wails over a seductive lounge piano, sparkling under the rumbling beat. The bonus, shorter track, ‘Justice League’ is a moody album finisher containing reams of witty wordplay which flows like water.  Once again, a feat like this album is a credit to producer, Zack Nailor as well as DarkStar himself of course for containing the talent, passion and vision to pull something like this off so seamlessly.  How can Jeeni support artists like DarkStarGraver?   JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience.   • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make.  • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way.  • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect.  • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.  Check out DarkStarGraver’s Jeeni showcase here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/darkstargraver/ 

13
Dec

Christmas Auction Launched today with Emeli Sande, Beverley Knight, RAMZ, Christian Atsu, Mr Brainwash and more…..

Unique one to one zoom calls for Christmas with top Music Industry experts, artists and a footballer! And more! Arms Around The Child launch their unique online auction with Superstars which ends on Weds 16th December at 9pm.  AUCTION LINK HERE! Grab a unique experience. Bid on an exclusive video performance that has been created especially for the winner of this auction by Emeli Sande. No one else will ever see or hear this recording except you! The Queen of British Soul Beverley Knight is offering a face to face Zoom for budding songwriters and performers trying to get their music heard and forge a career in the music Industry.  Speak to Top A&R expert Nick Halkes on a face to face Zoom. Nick co-founded XL Recordings to discuss your musical aspirations and how best to move your career forward. RAMZ whose No1 single Barking made a huge impact is offering up his time to get on a face to face Zoom call with the winner to chat football and music, he’s an avid Arsenal fan! Top Producer/DJ SHADOWCHILD is offering a face to face Zoom mentoring session ideally for upcoming producers/DJs to learn and prepare for what lies ahead in the music industry. Premiership and International footballer Christian Atsu will have a one to one Zoom video session on football training and coaching tips for young players looking to improve their game. Stop Press! Exclusive Christian Louboutin Handbag just added! Additionally the auction offers the opportunity to bid on Mr Brainwash prints,  Alan Shearer rare Top Trumps signature card, Elton John concert tickets for 2021, a striking and vibrant Giclée print of David Bowie a signed Maradona presentation plaque, exclusive wines, a Star Wars storyboard, weekend breaks and other experiences all wrapped up in this Arms Around The Childs Christmas Auction. All to benefit children look after by Arms Around The Child who are affected by HIV/AIDS, abandoned, abused, orphaned, trafficked and living in child headed households in Ghana, India and South Africa. Help us to help them. Images available please contact  ellie@armsaroundthechild.org  (07801292553)  AUCTION LINK HERE!