Why weird is my new wonderful.

Jeeni Blog

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Why weird is my new wonderful.

By Sammie Venn Jeeni's Official Writer, Columnist and Blogger.

The dictionary definition of weird is “extraordinary, out of this world” I remember the feeling of utter hope and merriment when I read that. I suddenly didn’t feel alone anymore. Once I fully released my inner oddball, the magic started to happen. The people who I thought I loved and loved me just fell away. It was like watching grains of sand slip through my fingers. At the time it felt like a gigantic loss but in hindsight it was the best gift I could have been given. I’m grateful every day for all the losses as what I have gained surpasses anything I could have dreamt of. I came out of the “kooky closet” said a tentative hello to my new surroundings and have never looked back.

Having always felt like I had trodden a different path in life, I used to feel embarrassed about my so called “weirdness”. A damaging label that was attributed over the course of many years. Always being on the periphery at school, shallow friendships and poor choices in men made me feel like there was something wrong with me.

Decades later I began the journey of coming to terms with whatever it was that made me feel a bit different. I read countless books, watched documentaries on Gaia, downloaded as many spiritual audibles as I could afford and after a period of counselling I realised that actually being “different” totally rocked and I certainly wasn’t the only one experiencing all those feelings of self-doubt. Self-doubt had finally set sail to distant shores and my passport to a happier more soulful life had been stamped with creativity with no expiration date.

My wired but wonderful List...So I’m not ashamed of saying that...

3am – the hour of writers, poets, musicians, silence seekers and overthinkers – In this crazy time that is 3am I really do achieve a lot of work. The silence is accompanied with prolific bird song and the sunrise paints a spectacular sunset across the fields. So there is no better landscape for creativity.

Gardening at Night -I water my roses at midnight in an old fashioned Victorian nightie with a gin and tonic in hand. The kiss of the night time breeze provides a magical space to reflect on the past 24 hours and plan the next.

Adventure at work -I have made a home office in my camper van and drive to various different places to work and mediate and be away from the humdrum of daily life. I need to be portable otherwise I feel stagnant and confined. My camper caters for most needs; a whistling kettle for fresh coffee, a writing station and insanely comfortable bed for those cheeky afternoon power naps.

Writing Erotica -I love to write erotic poetry and have an entire bookcase at home dedicated to naughtiness throughout the ages. Ancient manuscripts and recent tomes dedicated to Love, and all of the emotions surrounding it adorn the shelves.

Wild words and Soul Magic - I have about 10 different tarot desks I particularly Love Rebecca Campbell’s “Work your light” the illustrations are as magical as her words. I love to practice either quietly by myself or with my bestie in London. We savour our weekends as they are few and far between these days but we still write together and have created different worlds where we pretend to live like we were once warrior soul sisters. In fact lockdown has been perfect for that.

There are so many other things I do in my arsenal of “weird but wonderful” and I wouldn’t be without any of them now. Lewis Carroll wrote in “Alice in Wonderland” “you’re mad, bonkers, completely off your head. But I’ll Tell you a secret. All the best people are”. Definitely my mantra, it even sits as a plaque on my wall in the studio.

Have you got any practices or quirks that you embrace? We would love to hear about them.

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10
Jun

Let’s celebrate the “F” word – unlocking the power of our feminity. By Sammie Venn

By Sammie Venn Jeeni's Official Writer, Columnist and Blogger. Here at Jeeni.com we celebrate and support all musicians and performers, and poetry has its own dedicated channel for artists and performers to showcase their work and earn 100% of their sales, ticketing, merchandise and donations. Last week Jeeni returned to Crowdcube to raise more funds for helping new talent. We have been very encouraged with the positive response as we reached our target in just 6 days and now overfunding If you want to see our pitch click HERE. Today we showcase Sammie Venn as a very talented and creative writer. “For I conclude that the enemy is not lipstick, but guilt itself; we deserve lipstick, if we want it, AND free speech; we deserve to be sexual AND serious—or whatever we please. We are entitled to wear cowboy boots to our own revolution.” After reading Dr Naomi Wolfs powerful words I dug my cowboy boots out of the closet, turned the radio up and attempted to work through my own solitary revolution. I too wanted lipstick, love and liberty. I wanted to dance to my own beat and feel ecstatic about it. I have been in the retail industry for over 25 years now; understanding what women want and correlating that to how they feel, is a task both meaningful and joyful to me. It is something I continue to learn and explore daily as finding our inimitable style is part of the process of discovering our femininity; for me it is about how we show up in the world. I have never been an avid follower of fast fashion, the clothes we wear and how we choose to adorn ourselves is part of being authentically who we are. At heart I am a boho gypsy who longs to live her life in maxi dresses with no shoes, in the sunshine. This is of course not always practical but I like to kiss the earth with my toes as often as I can and working from home, especially at the moment provides me with that luxury. Celebrating our femininity should be a practice that connects both the pleasure and magic of being a woman. It’s easy to berate ourselves, finding fault in the smallest of details but it is those elements that we should embrace and nurture more than anything; it is after all what makes us unique in this world. I had a hip replacement a couple of years ago at the age of 45. As painful and heart breaking as it was, I learnt to love the scar I see every day, as it was that very operation which allowed me to walk again. Falling in love with your body, scars and all, is about accepting everything that is wild, vulnerable and rampant about it. Listening to our intuition and feeling the emotions that accompany it, is a practice worthy of time and dedication. I have always appreciated music, the soundtrack that accompanies my life is as varied and eclectic as the decades I have lived in. Maya Angelou wrote that “ a bird does not sing because it has the answers, it sings because it has a song”. So when we write, listen or perform, we give something of our heart to a receiving audience. I have been working on a series of practices that will hopefully help to reclaim our pleasure both internally and externally. Here are a few rituals that harness the wisdom that we all carry within ourselves. Something for the mind, body and spirit. Reclaiming Pleasure. When we feel pleasure, we radiate it. Our skin glows, our eyes smile and our bodies feel more fluid and engaged with life in the moment. Finding pleasure in our daily activities is all part of a healthy sacred self-care regime. Notice what brings you joy, is it walking in nature? Dancing slowly to a rhythmic beat? Eating delicious food? Meditating? Soaking in a candlelit bath? Whatever it is, write it down and designate some time to your desires. Fulfilling our deepest needs brings us joy and harmony. Date Yourself. Have a date with yourself, be your own lover. Imagine your ideal soiree then recreate that for yourself, it can be wildly extravagant or very simple. A few years ago I took myself out for dinner, I dressed as if I were going out for the perfect first date. It was an odd experience as I had never done anything like this before. I was as nervous about being alone in a restaurant as I would have been meeting a prospective partner. But after my first glass of prosecco, I eased into the evening. I pulled out my notebook and listed everything I wanted to attract into my life; health, the feeling of safety, oneness with myself and those I loved, a man who respected me on all levels and a career I could be proud of. I ate my dinner mindfully, observed those around me and then smiled to myself, I remember feeling happy for the first time in years. I still have the journal I wrote in that night, I see it as part of my self-healing revolution. When you commit to choosing you, that loving vibration will radiate into all areas of your life. Click HERE to visit or return to jeeni.com

03
Mar

Artist Focus: Nnaomi

Describing her own music as “euphoric, experimental and nostalgic”, Nnaomi is paving her own exciting path in the RnB and neo-soul corner of music. Portsmouth based Nnaomi has been an essential Jeeni artist for some time now and has most recently added her newest single, ‘Hate Me’ to one of Jeeni’s most rapidly advancing and growing channels, RnB (https://jeeni.com/channel/all-channels/r-and-b/). “At just over 2 minutes long, 'Hate Me’ still manages to progress so organically and timely; it takes its time to set the pace and tone of the story told in the lyrics. At the climax of the track, it feels like Nnaomi’s painful memories begin to swirl more unstably around her head as samples and synths begin to distort, warp and spin around the stereo space. These flittering pieces of audio eventually start to drown out Nnaomi’s voice, painting a tragic image of her thoughts and guilt becoming overpowering and too much to process.” Check out the full review of ‘Hate Me’ here: https://jeeni.com/blog/nnaomi-hate-me-single-review-blog-jeeni/ This newest track promises a lot from Nnaomi and if her short collection of singles says anything at the moment, it’s that she can deliver on them all. Nnaomi describes her singles as “little stories”, “I say this because the songs I make come from my real emotions and real experiences, the beats I choose actually bring emotions and thoughts out of me I feel like I suppress because I’m surprisingly not very good at talking about my feelings, so instead I put it in songs. It’s the easiest way for me to express myself”. From this analysis into her own work, it’s no longer a mystery as to why so much emotion is contained in tracks like ‘Like Me’ and ‘Hate Me’. Mental health, and processing emotions healthily is certainly a recurring theme in Nnaomi’s work, as she explains, “Something that inspires me is my own ability to take advantage of the fact that sometimes my emotions are intense, finding a way to execute it in a healthy way has been amazing because I’m so used to bottling it up, which wasn’t beneficial”. Besides from her methodology in utilising emotions as a key inspiration for her work, Nnaomi’s has some specific masters in the alternative RnB genre to thank for her curious and adventurous creative tendencies. Progressive soul artist, Frank Ocean is a major influence for Nnaomi, as is modern neo-soul singer, SZA. When asked about the similarities in the titles of ‘Like Me’ and ‘Hate Me’, Nnaomi noted that the connection was both coincidental but likely sub-consciously intended at the same time, “I wanted to portray my mental state in a way that was artistic. “Like Me” was written when my views and thoughts on certain things were hopeless and reminiscent. “Hate Me” is like the healing sister. The one that’s accepted the way that “love” and its experiences can sometimes change you for the worst. A much more self-aware and grown-up outlook on love and how to deal with it”; a poignant and layered insight into this partnership of singles. Nnaomi hints at longer projects in the future, however she's currently happy “taking it one step at a time” with fantastic singles like ‘Party’s Over’, ‘Like Me’ and ‘Hate Me’. She’s also excited to arrange more live shows this year as restrictions are the lowest they’ve been in years. Follow Nnaomi on socials to stay updated on what she’s working on: Twitter: https://twitter.com/nomesm_ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/naomim_0/ Check out Nnaomi’s showcase on Jeeni: https://jeeni.com/showcase/nnaomi/ How can Jeeni support artists like Nnaomi? JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience. artist biography • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make. • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way. • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect. • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.

26
Jan

Baby Panna, ‘Golden’ - Single Review

The final track from Baby Panna’s debut mixtape, ‘Vibes and Energies’ leaves the project with an honest and powerful impression that’s not easy to forget. The track tackles issues of race that are fuelled from real-life experiences and personal struggles. Baby Panna has been an essential component of Jeeni and its hip-hop and rap channels since last Summer. He performed and was interviewed as a part of last year’s Victorious festival and has been an incredibly important and keen artist for Jeeni’s mission. The instrumental landscape set for this frank and passionate narrative is an atmospheric and soulful wave of spaced-out beats and crackly samples. The warm, vintage fuzz of the sample, which opens the track, lays out a wistful, lo-fi vibe, reminiscent of old-school hip-hop. The beat leaves room for Panna to say what he needs to, to conclude his impactful and polished mixtape. A reverbed clave ripples through the sample and the rumbling sub bass as an understated percussive snare keeps the pace. Panna reflects on his blessed life as a comparison to his ancestors who lived through even more difficult and blatant times of discrimination and struggle, “The lifestyle that I live is golden”. The emotion carried in the lyrics almost conveys a sense of guilt and mixed emotions with his happiness when contrasted with the struggle embedded in his ancestry. However, in actuality, it's more likely that he’s reflecting on how lucky he is and that he should cherish his success, “I’ve got to make the most of this shit”. The clarity and focus of Panna’s vocals play a huge role in carrying the intention and emotion on this track. Where other rappers mumble and obscure their lyrics behind a sleepy and dull delivery, Baby Panna does not once miss an opportunity to express himself on ’Golden’. Check out the video for Baby Panna’s ‘Golden’ here: https://jeeni.com/baby-panna-golden/ Check out Baby Panna’s showcase on Jeeni, here: https://jeeni.com/showcase/babypanna/ How can Jeeni support artists like Baby Panna? JEENI is a multi-channel platform for original entertainment on demand. We’re a direct service between creatives and the global audience. • We give creatives, independent artists and performers a showcase for their talent and services. And they keep 100% of everything they make. • We empower our audience and reward them every step of the way. • We promise to treat our members ethically, fairly, honestly and with respect. • Access to artist liaison and a supportive marketing team.

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